I have to get my shit together.
She's going to call herself, Melara. She already has, unconsciously or not, she has claimed the name as her own. Whether or not it is a fair claim, she doesn't know if she'll ever be able to know. She has no other name to herself, and Not-Melara is a horrible disassociative way that leads to an unhealthy reality. For better or worse, she is now this child, this girl in this fantasy universe.
She's died twice.
Once via a fucking truck of all the cliche, and once through the actions that had been the original Melara's doom. The footnote in Cersei's path. The question now is how to proceed. Was her death as Melara a vision on how she should have died in this world? Or was it a Groundhog's Day situation- was she set to live and repeat the day just before the King arrived for the Tourney of Lannisport again and again? Or was she in a Re-Zero situation instead? Would her death trigger her to return just before she made the choice that made her die?
Clawing, begging for her friend as water gathered in my lungs-
FUCK HEY TRAUMA FUCK YOU.
She buries that forcibly. Not right now, please and fucking thank you. She breathes. Had her death as Melara only been a vision of her coming death? A bad dream of something she somehow skipped? She twitches in her tub, numbly watching Jeyne the Maid toss her sheets into a laundry tub by the door, humming merrily to herself as if she hadn't just helped hold down a child to be beaten to a bloody pulp. Melara looks around, away from Jeyne the Maid.
Fucking shit.