Within the quiet, somber halls of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, thick with yin energy, the atmosphere felt like the calm before a storm—so heavy it was suffocating.
Hu Tao, the usually mischievous and bubbly young master of the parlor, now stood like a lit firecracker, face flushed bright red, fury blazing in her eyes as she glared daggers at the man before her: Zhongli.
"Zhongli~"
Hands planted firmly on her hips, her chest heaved with indignation. She clenched her teeth and forced out each word with deadly precision.
"Do you have even the slightest idea what's going on with all these extra bills the Funeral Parlor suddenly got this month?!"
Her voice trembled with rage, echoing through the empty hall.
Zhongli, on the other hand, remained calm and composed, as if none of this concerned him.
His long, pale fingers gently lifted the lid of his teacup. He skimmed off the leaves floating on top, then tilted his head and took a slow, elegant sip. His movements were unhurried, serene, and natural.
Only after a quiet moment did he finally lower the teacup with a soft clink and speak in his usual measured tone.
"Each of these items is a rare and exquisite treasure. Their craftsmanship, age, and cultural significance are beyond measure. To leave them neglected, gathering dust with the passing of time… that would be an unforgivable waste, a true pity—"
"Enough!"
Before Zhongli could finish, Hu Tao erupted like a powder keg. The veins on her forehead popped, each one clearly visible.
Her eyes bulged with fury, practically shooting flames, and she flailed her arms wildly as she shouted, completely losing control.
"That's why you dumped all these bills on the Funeral Parlor?! No way, absolutely not! As the master of this house, I forbid this nonsense! You're returning every single one of those things, right now!!!"
The tension between the two had reached its peak, ready to snap at any moment—when suddenly, the sharp creak of the front door broke the deadlock.
"Hahaha, Hu Tao! I could hear your booming voice all the way from outside—still as energetic as ever, huh~"
A cheerful, teasing voice rang from the entrance.
Upon hearing that unmistakable voice, Hu Tao lit up like a lost ship spotting a lighthouse in the fog. Her anger vanished in an instant, replaced by sheer delight.
Like a sprightly deer, she spun around and dashed to the door, throwing herself into the arms of the just-arrived Shajin, clinging tightly to his waist like she'd found her strongest anchor.
"Shajin! Thank the Archons you're here! You've got to help me! Look at what Zhongli's been up to!"
She sniffled dramatically, rubbing her face against his chest like a child seeking comfort.
"If this keeps up, the Funeral Parlor's going bankrupt!!!"
As she spoke, she even dabbed at her eyes, pretending to wipe away non-existent tears.
Shajin was momentarily stunned by the sudden embrace, but quickly recovered.
He glanced down at the scattered papers all over the floor—rows upon rows of figures and item names silently screaming the tale of this absurd little drama.
His lips curled Into a faint smile, and he chuckled softly. In the stillness of the hall, the sound seemed especially crisp.
"Mr. Zhongli, your exquisite tastes are as impeccable as ever~"
He raised his gaze and studied Zhongli with amused interest.
The man stood tall and poised in his traditional robe, face as serene as still water. But at the sight of Hu Tao clinging so tightly to Shajin, Zhongli's mouth twitched just slightly, as though there were a thousand things he wanted to say—but none he could voice.
Zhongli sighed inwardly.
If his "wallet" weren't currently away from Liyue, cutting off his financial lifeline, he never would've had to resort to billing the Funeral Parlor like this.
Shajin gently ruffled Hu Tao's fluffy hair, his eyes soft with affection and reassurance.
"There, there. Zhongli's eye for relics is rather sharp, after all. These items are indeed exceptional."
His voice, calm and steady, echoed through the room with a strangely soothing effect.
"How about this—I'll buy all of it at a price above market value. Sound good?"
Hu Tao froze, mid-sob.
She looked up at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. Her plum-blossom irises sparkled with surprise and gratitude.
"Shajin, you're the best person ever!"
She clung to him even tighter, pretending to sob with joy.
Zhongli stood off to the side, the corner of his mouth twitching again.
He knew better than anyone—the true worth of these antiques couldn't be measured in mere mora. Shajin had just scored an enormous bargain under the guise of helping.
But then again… he sighed. Perhaps it was for the best. At least in Shajin's hands, these treasures wouldn't be left to rot in the dust of time.
"Oh, right."
Just then, Shajin seemed to recall something important. He smacked his forehead lightly.
"I actually came to invite you both to the Jade Chamber for tonight's Moonchase Festival banquet."
"It'll be quite the celebration—lively, full of people, with endless gourmet food. What do you say? Interested?"
Hu Tao's eyes immediately lit up like twin stars. She let go of him and jumped with excitement, clapping her hands repeatedly.
"Of course! Of course! How could I miss something so fun?! I definitely want to go!"
Her voice was bubbling with joy and anticipation, the sheer brightness of it clearing away every lingering shadow in the parlor.
Zhongli, meanwhile, furrowed his brow slightly, lost in thought.
His gaze deepened with a flicker of solemnity, and he murmured to himself.
"The gods of Fontaine and Sumeru…"
After a brief pause, he gave a small nod, as if making up his mind.
"Attending may not be such a bad idea."
Seeing that both had agreed, Shajin grinned and clapped his hands.
"Then it's settled! You two get ready, and I'll go notify the others."
With that, he turned and headed for the door, his steps light and confident.
Hu Tao stood where she was, watching his retreating figure. She blinked her bright plum eyes and playfully flashed an "OK" gesture behind his back, her face glowing with happiness and eager anticipation.
_
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