Current EP: 7,660 / 10,000
So.
After narrowly avoiding getting eaten by a sleeping Adjuchas (and giving it sunglasses, because that's the kind of genius I am), I decided it was time for my next great invention.
See, I was bored.
And when I get bored in Hueco Mundo, I do stupid things.
Which, let's be honest — is the only reason I'm still alive.
That's when inspiration hit me.
"GRUOAH."
(What if… I made a friend?)
A Hollow buddy?
No, too risky. Most of them wanna chew my legs off.
A pet?
Nope, tried that once. The lizard exploded.
So I did the next best thing.
I built a sand golem.
It took hours… or minutes… or days? Honestly, no clue. Time's fake here.
But eventually, standing proudly before me was a vaguely humanoid pile of sand with a stick for an arm, a rock for a face, and a single tumbleweed for hair.
I named him Chad.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Created Sand Golem 'Chad' — +300 EP]
Current EP: 7,960 / 10,000
I admired my work.
Chad was beautiful.
Majestic.
A real man's man.
Then, naturally, I decided we needed a tournament.
A Hueco Mundo Underground Fighting Tournament.
The rules were simple:
Contestants: Me vs. Chad.
Winner: Probably me.
Prize: A random stick I found shaped like a sword.
I circled Chad, hyping myself up.
"GRUOOOOOOOH!"
(NO ONE CAN DEFEAT ME, THE SAND WARRIOR!)
Chad remained stoic.
I lunged.
Chad didn't move.
I tripped over a rock, slammed head-first into my own sand golem, and the entire thing collapsed on top of me.
Buried.
Defeated.
A tragic loss.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Lost to own sand golem — +400 EP]
Current EP: 8,360 / 10,000
I clawed my way out of the sand, coughing up grit, but laughing like a lunatic.
"GRUHEHEHEHE."
(You'll always be the champion, Chad…)
I saluted the pile of sand.
Just then — a passing Hollow, a scorpion-like thing with way too many eyes, stopped and stared at me.
I stared back.
It probably thought I was insane.
I probably was.
And then it left.
[SYSTEM NOTICE: Intimidated other Hollow through sheer stupidity — +300 EP]
Current EP: 8,660 / 10,000
I flopped onto the ground again, arms out, mask pointed to the sky.
How long had I been here now?
A day? A month? A year?
Who cared.
Time didn't matter.
Only EP did.
And stupid ideas.
I grinned.
I was getting close now.
Soon, I'd evolve.
Not by eating others.
Not by raw power.
But by being the dumbest, most reckless thing in Hueco Mundo.
And when that day came…
The world would tremble.
Probably in confusion.
[EP: 8,660 / 10,000]