The smell of blood, burnt grass, and charred wood wafted into my nose as I let out a cry automatically, letting my eyelids open. Vaguely aware of the bruises littering my skin, I widened my eyes as a brilliant view lay before me.
At that moment, I didn't care about what "He" said about me— I wasn't one to take those things to heart. I was my own person, after all. Instead, I was focused on the radiant glow of the sunrise draping the ground in its golden glow, and the silhouette of my father, who stared up at the sky, letting the wind blow through his hair as he lay, unmoving.
Stumbling, I tried to lift myself from the ground and found that it was much easier than before. Prickles of vitality ran through me, making me shudder as my body jolted randomly.
Then, I realized something.
This was Am. The feeling… I remembered it!
But now, instead of being something out of reach, it was here with me, flowing through my veins, attached to me, and me only. I tried to move it through my body to no avail— I guess I couldn't push my luck.
My steps felt much easier as I walked forward.
Torched and littered sticks and brush lay all around me like a warzone. A calm morning wind blew through my already torn clothes as my eyes opened even further, and my throat caught.
"F-father?" I asked warily, in a concerned tone.
Everywhere I looked, there were bodies.
Not of humans, but of wolves. I couldn't count how many lay in the clearing, which had obviously been carved into the ground. I saw places where the stone split, and the trees had been dismantled. But wherever I looked, there was always the corpse of a monster.
At the very top of the hill of bodies… yes.
That was it.
The gargantuan wolf sent by Cuswoth to kill Sara and break through the secrets of that door. Although when I was looking through its eyes, its pressure seemed insurmountable, it had been torn apart savagely. Dried blood caked its sunbaked fur, running from its body to my father's hands.
Standing on the wolf, there lay my father.
Panting heavily, he glanced down at me. Cuts dotted his skin like flecks of paint on a canvas, and his hair lay matted on top of his head, falling over the other side of the wolf. In his hand, I saw a chipped, broken, rusty axe which had been painted completely red.
Struggling to speak, my eyes darted to the cottage, which seemed far away. Smoke ran from the chimney, meaning that mother was awake. Wait… mother was awake? The sunrise? Had I really… missed everything?
My father gave me a warm smile.
"... Hey, Am-Am." Coughing, blood spurted as his chest heaved.
I was barely aware of the tears building up in my eyes.
Not giving anything a care in the world, I ran up to my father as fast as my little body could carry me. Unconsciously, my arms and legs thrummed with power as I pushed off of the carcasses, slowly climbing to where my father was.
My arms hurt. My legs were in pain.
Everything hurt, but it didn't matter.
"Father!" I shouted, tears already falling. "What… What happened to you? Are you going to be alright? Don't die, please…" Practically sobbing now, I wrapped my tiny arms around his head— then I quickly lifted them, since they might have caused him pain.
I wasn't going to take any chances.
By the sight of it, I knew what happened.
My father had killed every monster here.
By himself.
My chest throbbed as I gritted my teeth, trying to withhold the pain of the 'Mark' spreading further across my body. The ink of its wrath dug into my skin as I felt like I was being gutted. Groaning, my body slapped against my father's as I lay, barely able to move.
The difference now though, was that I could see the Am.
Large piles of it were concentrated into my chest.
More.. more… more… it just kept pouring in!
Ughh… fuck!
Patting my body lightly, my father lifted his tattered robes.
Suddenly, the pain left my body as he revealed something over his heart. Dark purple ink was etched into his skin, leaving no stitches. Chains wrapped around a shield covered in brambles. Without needing to ask, I already knew.
I knew what this was.
A 'Mark'.
How had I never seen this before? Had I really never seen my father's upper body before? I was sure I had… so why had I never seen this? And if it did indeed exist, why was my father just showing this to me now?
Gasping, I watched as my 'Mark' stopped swelling.
Aware of the Am being absorbed into his body, I felt suddenly grateful.
But no words came from my mouth.
"Don't worry, Am-Am. I'm not going to die. All of this is nothing— I'll be all good by tomorrow. Don't worry… you see now, don't you? I have a 'Mark' as well, just like you. That's why… I wanted to share this with you at least… hah. But that was short lived, wasn't it?" My father's voice dripped with longing and pain as he lifted a weak arm, closing it over the sun.
"B-but… what about mother? Cidris? Sara? W-why didn't they…" The question hung in the air unanswered, but my father knew what I meant.
Why weren't they here, tending to his wounds?!
Mother… look at what father is going through! Why?
Fuck! If only someone was here!
Then maybe… if this fucking Cuswoth didn't have to…
Ah.
Why was I getting so emotional?
Why… Did I care so much?
Maybe "He" was right. I was a nameless being. I was just an anomaly in this world, something that should have never existed. Maybe his title for me was correct. The "Unnamed", he called me.
Wrapping his arms around me, my father rose to a seated position, wincing as the smell of rotten meat filled the air. Moving his torn robes to hide the wounds on his arms, he lifted my chin.
"Don't blame them. They both know… that I've been doing this. For the last year, the monsters have been coming, and I've been killing them. And they know… that Cuswoth has been sending them. We also all know… why."
My father sighed, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath.
"What they don't know is the state of my injuries. None of them come to check on me, not because of what they feel, but because of their trust in me. They know I fight better alone."
So… father.
What you're telling me is…
Every day, for the past year, you've been doing this?
Going out, killing monsters till sunrise, and pretending like nothing ever happened? Is this why whenever I would try to play with you, you would be passed out in your room? Is this why the air felt heavy whenever you were around?
Is that why?
Suddenly, I felt very warm.
Very… safe. It was strange…
I didn't believe what "He" said after all.
My name was Amir D'jan Lahan, and I was the son of Iyad D'jan Lahan. Wasn't that all that mattered here?
Lowering my head, I tried to stop the tears.
I really did! I tried.
But they wouldn't stop falling.
Like dewdrops falling from the leaves with a chorus of crickets and bees in the background, they slid down my cheek, pattering like rain on the hot ground. As soon as they touched the wolf, they disappeared, never to be seen again.
"... Let's go, Am-Am". My father paused for a moment, waiting for a response, but I was lost in my own thoughts. Lifting himself off the ground, he breathed in deeply, interlocking his fingers and pushing them outwards. Pops rang through the air as he loosened his body.
Raising his finger, the strands of golden light, which were now tinged with a greenish glow, wrapped around his arm like puppet strings. I heard the sound of wind blowing as all the wounds on my father's body vanished, sucked into a vortex of Am. Watching in awe, I watched him tap his robes, which began twisting.
Thousands of threads of fabric exploded from the missing areas as the robe began to mend itself. I felt the shift of hundreds of precise points of Am in the air, realizing just how capable the man I called my father was.
Within a few seconds, he seemed good as new.
"Does it… hurt?" I asked as he lifted me to his chest.
Looking at me strangely, he nodded.
"In a way."
But that was all it was.
In a way. That was all I got…
Hah.
He was a man full of secrets— but it wasn't like I had my own. The things that "He" told me, they were still actively churning in my mind. I just wasn't going to tell anyone what I'd learned. My father was probably curious…
But he didn't ask me anything.
For now, I would just focus on the door. I was teetering on the edge of discovering everything, and from what I could tell, my father was indirectly telling me to go for it… if I could.
Hmphh… Well, I'll take you up on that!
Squeakk!!
The familiar sound of our front door opening sounded as the smell of breakfast wafted into my nose. I began to salivate, drool dripping from my mouth as I instantly stretched my hands out in the direction of the kitchen.
"Oh honey, you're back?!" My mother said cheerfully. She ran out, holding a plate in her right hand and a loaf of bread in the other. Realizing that some of the bread was sticking out of her mouth, she turned red, embarrassed.
My father smiled calmly, kissing her forehead and her hair.
Ugh… get me out of this!
"I'm going to go wash up and go to sleep." My father nodded at me. Taking me, he passed me to my mother, who began to rock me back and forth.
"Alright, hon." She said brightly— but now that I was in her arms, I could feel a tinge of nervousness in her body. I guess father wasn't lying— well, I had never suspected him of doing so.
My father has never lied. He has only withheld.
Taking a deep breath, my mother opened her mouth.
"How did it go, Am-Am? Did you have a fun time with dah-dah?" Ruffling my hair, she whistled, taking me to the kitchen, where to my relief, Sara, Cidris, and Millie sat— though Millie was throwing food around like usual.
… Normal.
This was normal.
Normal was a good thing.
"Yes, mommy! I did!" I made my face brighten.
Deep down though, I was shaken.
Somewhere out there, "He" was lurking, watching my every move. And somewhere out there, Cuswoth was scheming. Somewhere, there was a story waiting to be heard, a path not walked. I had… learned many things.
Now, I was afraid of losing it all.