"So," said Han Sooyoung from the seat opposite him at their usual table at their favourite dumpling place. "How's work?"
"It feels like work," Kim Dokja shrugged.
Nearly a month at his new job, Kim Dokja still has his resignation letter's contents ready in his head that he never typed out.
"Team Leader-nim, is that what they call you now?" Jung Heewon was grinning as she examined Kim Dokja's work ID card that he had brought with him for the day at his friends' request.
"No, I've asked them to speak a little more comfortably," Kim Dokja muttered.
"It's so different from the ID Dokja-ssi had at Minosoft," Yoo Sangah said brightly.
Jung Heewon passed the ID to the next person. Lee Seolhwa took it just as excitedly as everyone else and smiled the second she saw Kim Dokja's face on the card.
"It is," she nodded.
Yoo Joonghyuk gave a hum of approval when he got the ID, then passed it on to Lee Jihye who thought the tag was pretty nice.
"Oh, look, a creepy corpse is smiling," Kim Namwoon said when he got the ID in his hands and Kim Dokja roughly dropped a dumpling into his broth, splashing the broth onto Namwoon's shirt.
He paid no mind to the soft chuckles or the angry swears and continued enjoying his food.
Jang Hayoung had been the last person to get the ID and she returned it to Kim Dokja, who stuffed it back into his pocket.
"If you have any assholes bothering you," said Jung Heewon. "Tell us and we'll flatten them for you."
Kim Dokja gave her a grateful, but slightly concerned smile.
"Everyone's great actually," Kim Dokja said. "I found it a little strange at first, then I realised it was the first time I was working in a non-toxic work environment. Even after they found out about my past, they're doing just fine."
He got a few pitying looks.
"Good," Han Sooyoung huffed.
"That's great, Dokja-ssi," said Yoo Sangah.
Kim Dokja listened to his friends telling him that they would always be there for him, no matter who said what. Jang Hayoung said she could find someone to hack into people's social media accounts and make a shitstorm of their lives if they bothered Kim Dokja and Lee Seolhwa had to remind her that it was illegal and as a legal adult, Hayoung could end up behind the bars.
Kim Dokja was glad he had no coworkers who were also in his friend group this time. At Minosoft, he had Yoo Sangah who would report things to the rest of their friends and confirm whether Kim Dokja was telling the truth or not. Han Sooyoung and Jung Heewon made friends with his co-workers at the cafes and restaurants he worked at and got intel from them.
But at N'gai, the security was incredibly high, they couldn't just sneak in and sweet talk the receptionist to give them information about Kim Dokja's daily work life. And Kim Dokja was thankful for that.
He didn't want any more of his friends worrying about how he was doing at work. Yoo Joonghyuk and Uriel were already floundering around, anxiously.
After the incident during the lunch break with the CEO, there was a lot of attention on Kim Dokja. And soon they managed to dig out information about him. From what he had heard, someone had tried to find him on social media and ta-da, they found out about his past.
And boy, oh, boy, if that wasn't the juiciest gossip at the workplace.
Kim Dokja always saw people working at maximum efficiency, so seamlessly filling in for each other when they banded together to ruin someone's life.
It was interesting to watch people from the different teams make friends with each other over his name like that. Someone from HR would connect with the Production Planning Department. That person would have someone in Accounting who happened to know someone who was around when Lee Sookyung's case first blew up. Then someone in Administration happened to find out about Kim Dokja's old school and they knew someone who went to the same elementary school as Kim Dokja and yada, yada, yada.
This led to Kim Dokja getting a table to himself at lunch now and he took this opportunity to go back to his habit of enjoying his lunch with a side of fantasy web novels to read.
Kim Dokja was just glad that they were more preoccupied with him being the son of the author of 'Muderer's Notes from the Underground'. He would have had a lot more trouble if they'd found the reason he'd gotten a job at the company was basically due to nepotism. He didn't want Yoo Joonghyuk's reputation to get tarnished by the rumours that could create either.
He didn't find it a big problem. He was being left alone to enjoy his breaks, no one was crowding his place, and he was fine. He always had whispers following him, no matter where it was.
He'd sort of become numb to it after he jumped from his school's third floor trying to escape it all when he was fifteen.
People had mouths, so they talked. As simple as that.
Now, he couldn't go around ripping everyone's tongues out, could he?
It was just something he couldn't control. What he could control was how he let it affect him. And it didn't really affect him anymore. He was going to ignore it all and focus on what he thought was more important, as always. If anything, all the gossip about him made the place feel a little more real than whatever it had been before.
As long as there was no bullying or pranks or anything that would hinder his work, he was fine with everything.
He felt sorry for Yoo Joonghyuk and Uriel though. He saw Uriel frequently now, slinking around places she didn't require to be, trying to keep an eye on him. He told her it was unnecessary and that she didn't have to keep doing this every time.
Yoo Joonghyuk called him to his office one afternoon and everyone was damn sure that Kim Dokja was getting in trouble for something with the CEO. There were bets placed in his own team, about whether he would get fired or not. Kim Dokja considered participating in it, hey, money was money.
But all Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to do was have lunch with him in his office.
Kim Dokja was sure that he was going to get reprimanded or hear a talk about how disappointed Yoo Joonghyuk was with him, but when he entered the room and the door swung close, Uriel launched towards him, pulling him into a tight hug.
He figured he wasn't getting scolded by his CEO today when he took in the lavish spread piled up on the coffee table and the worry in Yoo Joonghyuk's eyes.
"You two really don't have to go this far," Kim Dokja said, eating lunch that was ten times more delicious than the cafeteria one, sitting on the leather couch in Yoo Joonghyuk's office.
It was a large, well-lit room, with light grey walls, occupied by sleek modern furniture. There wasn't a single glass window or door that would allow anyone to see inside, and that in turn let them eat in peace. There were security cameras on the ceiling though.
Yoo Joonghyuk's heavy wooden desk was sat upon a platform, a clear separation from the rest of the room. There were three steps that looked a little more than half a metre in total height leading up to the platform with the workstation.
Kim Dokja thought it was a little impractical, but who was he to judge?
The sort of waiting area...lounge area? Kim Dokja wasn't really sure what the place with the couch, armchairs and coffee table was called, but he was technically sitting there and lounging of sorts.
"I thought we weren't going to do this at work," Kim Dokja continued. "Noona, did you cry again?"
"I did not," Uriel said, but Kim Dokja considered it a very probable thing to happen.
"Is this because I was eating alone and I told you that I always eat alone?" Kim Dokja said and Uriel's lips trembled.
"It's a work thing," Kim Dokja held in a sigh. "You know, I don't eat alone all the time. I usually have someone with me."
"You're at work five times a week," Uriel said quietly. "That's five lunches, Dokja-yah. . .And you don't eat breakfast—"
"I don't eat a hearty meal for breakfast," Kim Dokja said quickly when Yoo Joonghyuk bristled. "I have something on the way. I'm not doing anything on an empty stomach."
"And you don't eat dinner either," Uriel spoke as though Kim Dokja hadn't interrupted her.
"I do," Kim Dokja cried. "I need to survive too, you know? I do eat...well, it's not a big dinner, but I do eat food."
"The only time you eat properly is when you meet us on Sundays," Uriel said, sullen.
"And with my friends," Kim Dokja told her. "Bi-weekly, mind you. Saturdays. I eat tons of dumplings and go home, very full and satiated."
"Bottom line, Dokja-yah," Uriel said, a little firmly. "If you actually compare them, the number of days you eat alone in a month is three times the number of days you have an actual warm meal. And if you look at the different meals of the day—"
"Ah, ah, Noona, really?" Kim Dokja waved his hand. "Stats for this? You know, I've always found stats incredibly boring."
He got a reproachful look from both Yoo Joonghyuk and Uriel for that.
Kim Dokja transferred a few pieces of stir-fried pork into Uriel's bowl of rice as a little apology and reassurance.
"Noona," he said seriously. "I'm not a kid going to school and not making any friends. I don't prefer having strangers around me while I eat anyway."
Kim Dokja gave a rather large piece of pork that he could find to Yoo Joonghyuk, not wanting him to be left out.
"I am actually super comfortable and having a good time," Kim Dokja said. "And I don't think it's another person's presence that influences how warm my meal is going to be. It's how long you set the microwave to."
"Dokja," Uriel reprimanded his little joke and Kim Dokja laughed.
"I'm not lonely," Kim Dokja said softly. "I know I give out loner vibes, but surprisingly, I'm not. . .I haven't been in years. I've always had friends to help me through it."
Uriel's frown deepened, when she blinked her emerald eyes glittered and Kim Dokja wondered what exactly it was that he had done for her to like him so much that she was even crying for him.
It hadn't been all that long since they met, had it? Not even a whole year.
Then again, Kim Dokja seemed to meet strange people like that. People who took a genuine, true, pure liking to him and had nothing but his best interests at heart.
It was strange, he had stopped questioning it a while ago. He found that the more time he spent questioning it and finding a reason for it, the more the others got hurt.
So he had to choose, between fixing himself and making the ones he cared about happy.
And he chose them, just as they had chosen him.
Kim Dokja might have horrible luck with romantic love, but with the platonic, familial kind of love, he was super lucky.
He could question things in the dark without anyone around, hidden within the walls of his tiny bedroom, which might as well have been a rather large closet. There was a reason why certain stuff got shoved into a corner, and stashed away like that.
There was no guarantee that once he was fixed, if that was even possible; he would be happy. But if he just stepped into the role of what they wanted, they would be happy. And that's what mattered.
"It's just a conversation partner that's missing," Kim Dokja shrugged. "But I like my own peace sometimes, to recharge. You seriously don't have to worry or feel guilty about this for some reason, alright?"
Yoo Joonghyuk, who was sitting to his left on the couch brought his hand and placed it on the top of his head.
Kim Dokja smiled wearily.
They really thought of him as a little kid being sent to school.
It was a little funny how he was getting to experience this now at thirty.
He knew for a fact that his fifteen-year-old self would have ugly sobbed his wretched heart out if someone, anyone had done this for him even once back then.
He didn't need that consolation anymore, though. What use was it, pouring disinfectant and putting bandages over a scar that had healed up ages ago? It was just a pointless waste of resources, if anything.
Kim Dokja's nonchalance about the whole thing was worrying.
Yoo Joonghyuk understood, he was used to rumours too, he was used to ploughing through regardless of the whispers that surrounded him as well. He had his own share of experience when it came to these things, and that's exactly why he knew that these things affect people regardless of how strong they thought they were against it.
"People have mouths, they'll talk," Kim Dokja had said, dismissively. "It's just normal."
"And you have ears, you'll hear," Yoo Joonghyuk had told him in response. "That's normal too."
Kim Dokja gave him a brilliant smile for that and said, "It doesn't bother me though?"
Kim Dokja wasn't as unreadable as he was when he first met the man, but that didn't mean Yoo Joonghyuk could figure him out completely. However, there was one thing that he was excellent at recognising now.
He could tell when Kim Dokja lied. He could tell from the look in his eyes, from the sweet yet unlucky, smile he had when he lied.
Eating alone at lunch was fine. It was passable and could be considered a personal preference, Yoo Joonghyuk preferred eating unbothered too. So Yoo Joonghyuk let Kim Dokja have what he wanted and held Uriel back for him.
Then it changed. One thing after another, until it piled up.
Kim Dokja was having trouble at work, even if the man said he wasn't, everyone else could tell he was.
Uriel reported there was a lack of cooperation by both his team members and the rest of the department, and a department head who kept finding issues with Kim Dokja's work. Not to mention all the rumours floating around at work.
"Lay them all off," Uriel said furiously, clutching the folder Yoo Joonghyuk had just handed her after reading it through and signing it.
Yoo Joonghyuk knew why she was frustrated. Kim Dokja was going about his life as normal, which meant that he was used to this. All his life, this was how things had been, but things were supposed to be different now, things were supposed to be different now that they were there.
Uriel was having trouble coming to terms with the fact that no matter how much she supported Kim Dokja, his life wasn't going to get better just because she was present in it.
Yoo Joonghyuk was too.
He didn't think he would, but apparently, some part of him had thought that he was helping Kim Dokja out of the swamp of his past.
Clearly, he was wrong. It was a moment for some self-reflection.
"You said it wasn't the appropriate action," Yoo Joonghyuk reminded her.
"That was a week ago!" Uriel cried. "I've had enough."
He would like to do so as well, but it wasn't as simple as that.
He couldn't fire everyone for talking behind Kim Dokja's back and practically ostracising him. Uriel knew it too, she was just saying it so that she could ease her frustration.
Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to do something, but there wasn't a lot he could do. For the person who held a lot of influence and power, he was certainly powerless when it came to it. It was very humbling.
"Joonghyuk-ssi," Kim Dokja said as they walked around the apartment complex on a Sunday, summer night. "You should stop calling me to the CEO's office for lunch. Twice is more than enough."
"It's either that or Uriel," Yoo Joonghyuk said and Kim Dokja sighed softly.
"At this rate, I'll put in a bet myself," Kim Dokja mumbled.
"A bet?"
"Oh, yeah," Kim Dokja nodded. "The Production Planning Department has a large-scale betting in place, about whether I'd get fired or not."
Kim Dokja chuckled at Yoo Joonghyuk's frown.
"Can we make it seem like I'm really going to get fired?" Kim Dokja said.
"What?"
Kim Dokja's smile widened.
"They're putting money on the line, you see," Kim Dokja snickered. "So I'll join the bed, and we could team up, make it look like I'm on bad, bad terms with you and that you hate me and everyone will bet for me getting fired, and when I don't, I win—Ah, I am assuming that you wouldn't actually fire me. You wouldn't, would you?"
Yoo Joonghyuk gave him a look that Kim Dokja brushed aside easily.
Yoo Joonghyuk sighed softly. "I won't," he said.
"That's great!"
Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't one for leisure walks, he would usually spend this time actually working out. But taking a lazy stroll with Kim Dokja was nice and he wouldn't mind if it turned into a habit.
"Are you truly not bothered, Dokja-ssi?" Yoo Joonghyuk glanced at the younger man walking next to him.
"It is a little bothersome, actually," said Kim Dokja.
"Hmm, how do I explain this?" Kim Dokja muttered to himself, pulling a thoughtful face. "Does it make sense if I say that I sort of want it to happen?"
"No," Yoo Joonghyuk said immediately.
"Well, my thought process is a little abnormal," Kim Dokja sounded a little sheepish.
"I'm sure it is," Yoo Joonghyuk said before he could stop himself and thankfully Kim Dokja found it funny.
"It just makes it feel normal for me," Kim Dokja said once he was finished laughing about it. "This whole thing's new for me, and hearing Department Head Hwang's beratings makes it feel a little more comfortable."
"Comfortable?" Yoo Joonghyuk repeated, incredulous.
". . .Familiar," Kim Dokja amended. "It was a little unsettling before, it still is a little. I don't get forced to do overtime, and no one really pushes their work onto me. I think it's great."
"It isn't," Yoo Joonghyuk said. "And you should understand that too, Dokja-ssi."
"Joonghyuk-ssi—"
"No, Dokja-ssi, can you try to look at it from my perspective?" Yoo Joonghyuk cut him off. "I was the one who convinced you to work with me, despite all the times you refused."
Kim Dokja looked away from the path ahead and met his eyes with a calmness that was a little unsettling.
"This is not how I intended for it to go," Yoo Joonghyuk told him. "This is not what I wanted you to go through and since I was the one who brought you here, it's my responsibility to fix it."
He would hate it if Kim Dokja ended up hating this like all his other jobs, killing any hope he had. He would consider it his worst loss if this escalated to a point where Kim Dokja broke and lost interest in everything again.
Maybe that's what Kim Dokja was subconsciously after too, maybe that's why he wasn't doing anything and going with it like it was the natural course of things. Maybe that was to prove Yoo Joonghyuk wrong or something, maybe that was in a way, comfortable for him.
But even if Kim Dokja wanted it, Yoo Joonghyuk didn't.
"Joonghyuk-ssi," Kim Dokja said slowly. "Why do you think you have to fix anything? You don't...And can I be frank?"
Yoo Joonghyuk gave a nod.
"You can't fix it," Kim Dokja said and it shot through his pride like an arrow.
"I wouldn't know until I try," Yoo Joonghyuk said.
"And I would consider that a waste of time and energy," said Kim Dokja.
"Are we not friends, Dokja-ssi?" Yoo Joonghyuk snapped. "Am I not allowed to worry about you as a friend?"
"No, that's not—You can," Kim Dokja blinked his shock away. "I wouldn't recommend it, but you're free to do so if you want to."
Yoo Joonghyuk raised an eyebrow.