It was a normal morning in Goblin Swamp.
Meaning someone was screaming, something was on fire, and a frog was trying to eat my foot.
Plop croaked from his spot on my head.
System pinged.
[Notice: Pregnancy Progress – 7 Confirmed]
[New Skill: Swamp Dodge Lv.1]
Now I could sidestep slightly faster than a drunk goblin.
Incredible.
Then Ma Grugga burst into camp, yelling.
"Frog Prophet! Come! Big important vote!"
I blinked.
"…vote for what?"
"New Swamp Boss."
"Aren't you the boss?"
"Nah, retired this morning. Got bunions."
And so, without warning, I was dragged to the giant mud puddle we called the Swamp Council Pit.
The Candidates
There were three contenders:
Mudnut the Idiot — known for licking rocks and losing fights to trees.
Blib the Slimy — his special skill was falling into holes.
And… me.
Without my permission.
System pinged.
[New Quest: Win the Swamp Vote]
[Reward: 500 EXP + Title: Swamp Mayor]
I didn't even want to be mayor.
I just wanted fireballs.
But I saw that EXP and my goblin brain activated.
Greed Mode: ON
The Vote
The whole village gathered around the mud pit.
Voting involved chucking mud at the candidate you liked most.
Whoever got hit with the most mud… won.
Mudnut stepped up, flexed, and immediately got pelted by three mudballs to the groin.
Blib fell into a ditch mid-speech.
Then it was my turn.
I stepped forward, holding Plop.
"If you pick me," I shouted, "I'll kill less of you than Mudnut would."
Silence.
Then Plop croaked heroically.
Every goblin cheered.
MUDSTORM.
I got smacked by so many mudballs I couldn't see for a minute.
System pinged.
[Quest Complete: Win the Swamp Vote]
[+500 EXP]
[EXP: 1130/1000 — Level Up!]
[+5 Attribute Points]
(Still no skills unless I impregnate someone, classic.)
[Title Earned: Swamp Mayor]
My Acceptance Speech
I climbed on a log, covered in mud.
"Alright, listen up. First rule as mayor: stop licking poisonous frogs. Second rule: we're raiding the human garbage pile tomorrow."
Thunderous applause.
System pinged.
[Notice: Pregnancy Progress – 8 Confirmed]
"WHO NOW?!"
System: Mayor's Inauguration Feast. It's tradition.
I groaned.
That Night
I sat by my mud hut, sipping suspicious swamp juice from the Mysterious Sludge Jar.
Plop rested on my head like a crown.
"Plop," I muttered, "I didn't ask for this."
He croaked, as if to say 'You brought this upon yourself, fool.'
I sighed.