Life at Hogwarts went on with its peculiar rhythm of magic, homework, and organized chaos.
Even though the Chamber of Secrets had been discovered, the basilisk defeated so it could no longer torment the students, and Ginny Weasley had made a miraculous recovery... the details of how it had all happened remained shrouded in a haze of confusion.
It was, in Dumbledore's words, "one of those magical events that no one can explain without sounding ridiculous."
And at the center of it all, like a forgotten satellite orbiting the main story… was Kronk, the student and occasional assistant in the kitchen, cleaning, plumbing, and gardening.
The truth was, Kronk didn't talk much about the basilisk incident. Not out of humility, but because he genuinely didn't think anything out of the ordinary had happened. If anything, he was thrilled with the amount of eel meat he'd acquired.
"I found a giant eel, the chicken sang, it fell, a book broke," he said matter-of-factly while studying for an exam, when Hermione once asked him.
Hermione was still trying to figure out if it was some kind of code language...
But students had other things on their minds.
A new activity was filling the halls with excitement: the newly formed Dueling Club.
"Welcome, magical students of tomorrow!" shouted Professor Lockhart, wearing a purple robe covered in golden sequins. "Today we begin training that will forge champions… like me, of course. But also like you, with enough practice and... the right dramatic posture!"
Next to him, Professor Snape looked more annoyed than usual, as if he'd been forced to share the stage with a talking peacock.
He wasn't entirely wrong.
The whole school was gathered in the Great Hall, now transformed with a long platform in the center and benches on the sides like it was a theater performance. Wands sparkled, and discreet third-year illegal betting slipped through the corners.
A couple of Weasleys whistled innocently from side to side, clearly up to nothing at all.
And in the middle of the crowd, Kronk wandered about with a massive basket of popcorn, handing out paper cones to anyone who wanted one.
"Hot popcorn, curse-free! Explodes in your mouth, not your stomach!" he called cheerfully, offering it to Gryffindors, Slytherins, and even a couple of ghosts.
A true equal-opportunity service!
"Do these taste weird?" asked a Hufflepuff student.
"Half of them taste like lemon candy (by anonymous request), the other half is the classic butter and salt," said Kronk seriously. "Sweet or salty—your choice."
When the duel between Lockhart and Snape ended with the former being blasted backward by a particularly aggressive Expelliarmus, Lockhart staggered to his feet and announced:
"Now a student demonstration! Let's see…", he looked around, trying to recall the name of any of his many fans.
"Potter and Malfoy, up on stage in five seconds!" Snape gave no room for negotiation.
A ripple of anticipation spread like wildfire.
Harry stepped onto the platform with a frown, while Malfoy climbed up with a smug grin, wand in hand.
It wasn't his first duel—he had practiced plenty with motionless paper targets that didn't fight back.
He was practically a professional!
Kronk stopped between the Slytherin benches, turned a popcorn kernel into a folding chair, and sat down with his popcorn bag, watching the scene like a theater play.
"Tch! They call this a duel?" the little devil clicked his tongue. "Where's the fire pit you throw the loser into?"
"The protections—they forgot to add protections!" the little angel bit down on a silk handkerchief in worry. "Won't someone think of the children?"
Meanwhile, oblivious to the protests…
"Three-step duel! Bow! Take a step back! And… begin!"
Malfoy wasted no time. He cast a jinx that Harry barely dodged. Harry responded with a Rictusempra, and the spell exchange began, sparks flying, smoke rising, and minimal collateral damage (except for a poor toad who went flying off someone's head).
"Trevor, no!"
In the second round, Malfoy conjured a snake.
Snape frowned discreetly—the students were too close to the snake, and Draco couldn't really control it, only barely guide it.
The snake slithered toward Harry, hissing menacingly.
Several students screamed, others backed away in panic at the sight of the slithering creature.
Harry, without thinking, spoke in Parseltongue.
"Stop. I'm not going to hurt you."
The snake stopped.
The silence was instant and absolute.
"Is he… talking to it?" whispered a student in disbelief.
"He's a Death Eater!" shouted another, hysterical.
A punch to the back of the neck knocked out the hysterical student, who was then dragged off for post-panic therapy.
"A Parselmouth?" Lockhart murmured.
What a fantastic publicity stunt that would be!
Agh! But Parseltongue can't be learned...
Snape stepped in and vanished the snake with a sharp flick of his wand.
Lockhart tried to calm the crowd, but the damage was done. Harry looked around, noticing the strange looks some students were now giving him.
…
"It was a disaster," Harry muttered hours later in the Gryffindor Common Room.
"It wasn't that bad," Ron tried to cheer him up, chewing half a cookie. "The snake didn't bite you."
"The worrying part," said Hermione, "is that you talked to it like it was nothing. Not everyone can do that, Harry."
Harry sighed.
"Now everyone's going to think I'm dark, dangerous, or the heir of Slytherin."
Just then, Kronk entered, followed by a floating magical toolbox.
"How did you get in without the password?" asked Hermione, surprised.
"I made the Fat Lady a diet plan," Kronk explained. "I was fixing the trophy cabinet hinges and a fourth-year student told me the fireplace was jammed, so here I am," he looked around. "Everything okay?"
"Not really," said Ron. "You saw it. Malfoy summoned a snake, Harry spoke Parseltongue, and now everyone thinks he's the Heir of the Chamber."
"That bothers you?" Kronk frowned. "I thought everyone had forgotten about the whole giant killer snake thing."
"Who could forget that?" asked Hermione. "Well, aside from you."
"It all turned out fine in the end," Kronk shrugged. "I told you: The chicken sang, the beast fell, Ginny woke up, and the book impaled itself. End of story."
"But no one knows that," Harry said.
"Well... technically," Kronk said, raising a finger as if making a note, "it was the chicken who killed the basilisk. I just followed it with a glazing brush and the book… well, it bounced."
Hermione closed her eyes for a second.
"You do know that sounds impossible, right?"
"Which part?" Kronk broke it down. "The lethal chicken song or the perfectly aimed bounce?"
Ron stared at him.
"Why doesn't anyone talk about this?"
"I do!" Kronk said, almost indignantly. "But Professor McGonagall asked me to stop mentioning 'cookable basilisks' around the first-years. I tried to explain it was an eel, but she's as stubborn as a llama!"
Harry laughed for the first time in days.
Kronk turned toward the door.
"Well, I'm off. I need to test a new kind of popcorn that turns words into red smoke."
"And what's it called?" Ron asked.
"Smokecorn!"
As he left, Hermione stared at the open doorway.
"You know what the weirdest thing is?" she said finally, her voice on the edge of despair, trying to accept the facts but unable to.
"What?" asked Harry.
"That technically, if you think about it… Hogwarts was saved by a student-man who can't tell an eel from a snake and a chicken with a soprano voice."
There was silence.