The rumor that Harry had received a Firebolt had spread through Hogwarts like Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder...
The broom attracted so many stares it seemed like a piece of solid fire wrapped in perfectly polished wood. Students whispered, nudged each other, and glanced enviously at the Gryffindor table.
Harry walked cautiously through the corridors, holding the broom carefully, while Hermione and Ron accompanied him. Hermione frowned.
"You shouldn't accept gifts from strangers, Harry! Nobody knows where it came from, and it could be enchanted with some dangerous magic. Don't forget who's on the loose…"
Ron stared at the Firebolt in awe.
"You're exaggerating like you always do. Just look at those lines and angles… it's beautiful!"
Hermione sighed, clenching her fist but restraining herself from attacking her friend for preferring a piece of wood over Harry's safety.
For now.
"We should have someone examine it."
Harry nodded, though cautiously, worried about the remote possibility of it being confiscated.
He turned a corner in the corridor, and something strange happened. They didn't arrive at any known office; the walls began to vibrate softly, and a bluish glow filled the air. The three exchanged surprised looks and, before they could react, they found themselves before a metal door with glowing letters that read:
Innovation and Safety Laboratory — Entry Authorized Only with White Lab Coat.
"Huh?" muttered Harry, confused.
"This wasn't here this morning," added Hermione, eyes wide.
"Must be another one of those secret Hogwarts passages," whispered Ron, more fascinated than worried.
Dangers? Please, he was a Weasley. They always survived one way or another.
The door opened with a technological screech, and there stood Kronk, in a white lab coat that dragged along the floor and giant glasses that warped his eyes into the shape of two fried eggs. Floating screens displayed moving runes, test tubes bubbled, and a six-meter-tall microscope loomed in the center of the room, connected to gears, levers, and a wheel that looked like it came straight out of a movie villain's laboratory.
"Ah! Just in time!" said Kronk proudly. "Welcome to my (eighth, ninth…) TENTH security laboratory! Let's begin the tests."
Hermione frowned.
"What tests?"
"The best ones, of course," Kronk replied as he climbed the ladder of the giant microscope.
"Total security: Bulgarian willow fibers, aligned bristles, and a grain of rice that says 'Hi, I'm Dave.'"
Harry and Ron exchanged looks.
"A grain of rice?" asked Ron.
"Yes, he seems happy," Kronk replied, taking notes while peering through the microscope.
Next, Kronk instructed them to place the Firebolt on a platform that slowly rose. Colored lights began projecting beams all over the room, and a metallic voice announced:
Structural integrity test in progress. Please dance while you wait.
"Well, if I must," sighed Kronk, suddenly dressed like a K-Pop star as he started dancing.
Harry raised an eyebrow, and Hermione covered her mouth, horrified and amused at the same time. Kronk moved his arms and feet, adjusting gauges, blowers, and levers that looked entirely improvised during what seemed like an over-rehearsed choreographed routine.
"Final results," Kronk finally said, lowering his glasses and straightening his coat. "No curses or traces of dark magic. The broom may need a new coat of varnish, though, but nothing else."
Harry sighed in relief.
"That's… it?" Hermione wasn't so confident in the so-called laboratory. Some of the machines looked far too advanced to be real.
And weren't Muggle devices supposed to not work in the school?
"Yes," said Kronk. "But I can add lightning bolt stickers if you like, to improve aerodynamics and style. That'll give you at least a 30% boost, guaranteed!"
Kronk looked at the wall clock, which, for such a high-tech lab, was unexpectedly archaic.
"I'm afraid I must ask you to leave now; it's Soponcio's bath time." A panel lowered from the ceiling, and Kronk hit the big red button on it—the only button, in fact.
Before they could process what had just happened, the door behind them flickered and vanished. Suddenly, the three were back in a normal castle corridor, the Firebolt intact in Harry's hands.
"This makes no sense… how did we get here, and how did we get out?" murmured Hermione.
"It's Hogwarts. It doesn't need to make sense," Ron declared, finding the perfect moment to sound important. He felt good about it.
Meanwhile, Kronk removed his lab coat and hung up the glasses.
"The tenth lab, and I still can't make it look like the one Yzma had," Kronk sighed dramatically. "I've got too much good taste; I'll never manage to imitate her!"
He pressed the massive one-meter-wide red button labeled Cappuccino Latte with Extra Sugar, and after grabbing the freshly prepared cup, he pressed the identical button beside it labeled Self-Destruct while heading toward the exit with a sip.
As he walked away, the laboratory collapsed into itself in a quantum singularity.
"Wait a minute!" Kronk squinted, staring at the space where the lab had been moments ago.
"Did I finish that plate of almond cookies?" he asked himself with lingering doubt.