The Hogwarts castle was on high alert.
Sirius Black had entered the Gryffindor common room.
Professors went back and forth with furrowed brows, prefects repeated safety instructions, and even the suits of armor seemed tense, as if expecting an imminent attack.
But not everyone was thinking about fugitive murderers, or about why Ron's scream had been so high-pitched, like a little girl's.
Kronk, sitting on a stool beside his food truck parked on the slope near the greenhouses, frowned as he checked his pantry reserves.
"Let's see… cured ham: gone. Pumpkin rolls: gone. Half a leg of lamb: also gone!" he groaned in distress. Then he pointed at the empty space. "Someone is stealing from me!"
Kronk's angel appeared on his shoulder, arms crossed:
"Kronk, there are more important things. A dangerous criminal is on the loose and has managed not only to get inside the castle, but even into a common room."
"Exactly!" replied the little devil, hopping onto the other shoulder. "And what better distraction for a criminal than a food truck full of supplies? Your food is a juicy target!"
"Or…" said Kronk, looking up at the sky, "maybe it's a dog… I saw paw prints."
Both shoulders fell silent, staring at each other. Finally, the angel sighed:
"Fine… catch the dog and we'll take it to an appropriate animal shelter. But keep it simple, all right?"
Kronk grinned broadly.
"Of course, something simple!"
…
Two hours later, behind the food truck, Kronk had erected a trap that was anything but "simple." There were pulleys, an enchanted net hanging from the trees, a cauldron full of melted butter working as a counterweight, and a corridor of stacked boxes leading to a ham dangling from the ceiling as bait.
"Perfect," said Kronk proudly. "No one will be able to resist such a juicy ham. And once they bite… bam! They'll be hanging like a piñata."
The devil applauded enthusiastically, while the angel covered his face with his hand.
…
That night, while the tension lingered inside the castle, Kronk kept watch from his food truck using opera binoculars. The wind whistled, the greenhouses creaked… which was worrisome, considering students had classes inside those fragile-looking structures that seemed ready to collapse. He should probably report that to Sprout.
Suddenly, he heard footsteps.
"There he comes!" whispered Kronk, settling in like a sniper behind an empty cauldron.
The figure stumbled closer… not large, nor furry, but somewhat dazed.
"I'm hungry…" Ron muttered, having wandered down half-asleep in search of a snack after the early dinner. Trusting his trained nose, he had tracked down something appetizing enough to lure him out of the castle without even realizing it.
"No, no, no, no, no!" Kronk's eyes widened. "That's not a dog!"
But it was too late.
Ron, following the scent of ham like a zombie in a trance, pulled the wrong rope.
A second later, the whole mechanism activated: pulleys screeched, the net fell, and Ron was left dangling in the air, swinging like a human sausage, the ham clutched tightly in his arms.
"W-what the…?" Ron stammered, hanging upside down.
Kronk stepped out of hiding, scratching his neck with a guilty look.
"Oops… uh… hi, Ron. I see you… fell into my trap."
"A trap for what?!" the redhead demanded, still refusing to let go of the ham.
"A mysterious dog that's been stealing my food."
Ron blinked several times, tangled up in the net.
"A dog…? Kronk, could it be that dog was…?"
"Shhh!" Kronk interrupted, pressing a finger to his lips. "We can't jump to conclusions."
…
Of course, McGonagall showed up shortly after, looking as though she wanted to transform into a cat just to avoid letting out a hiss of frustration.
"Kronk!" she exclaimed, taking in the scene. "Why is Mr. Weasley hanging from a net next to a ham?"
Kronk smiled nervously and raised his hands.
"It was a trap!" Ron shouted from above. "A trap for a dog!"
McGonagall sighed, closed her eyes, and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Kronk… next time you notice food theft… simply report it to your Head of House!"
With a flick of her wand, she freed Ron from the net, the ham dropping to the ground with a heavy thud.
Ron stared at the ham secretly, sadness in his eyes. He couldn't even get a single bite, and with McGonagall present, he didn't dare!
That night, as he lay inside the food truck, Kronk muttered to himself:
"Well… at least I found out Ron bites at bait too… that's useful for the future."
The angel and the devil nodded reluctantly—at least they had learned something from the incident.
And somewhere on the grounds, not far away, Sirius in his dog form was happily devouring another piece of bread stolen from the food truck, without Kronk ever knowing.