Chapter Sixteen – [Memory, Freshman Year, Late May] – Temptation, Take My Hand
Where could Brad be? He had been a no-show for their little meeting to celebrate finishing their finals with flying colors. That wasn't like him, and Lyn couldn't help thinking that something important must have gotten in the way.
He was plainly lying to himself. It had to be her. He hated himself for hating her, because he knew it wasn't the girl's fault that Brad liked her. He hated himself for being so weak when it came to his unchanging feelings. Having a crush was normal; it was a way of experiencing romantic feelings, and Lyn could overanalyze and dissect himself and his mind for all eternity, but it didn't mean that he had greater control over said feelings.
Alexander had been an annoying little shit throughout their so-called celebration. He had kept throwing jabs at Lyn by posing possible reasons why Brad wasn't present to the point that Lyn had started to imagine how it would feel to plant a well-aimed fist in the middle of that handsome face.
Why wasn't he crushing on Alexander? Things would have been a lot easier. Because the posh asshole knew how to cut someone down like they were nothing, Lyn lived with the certainty that Alexander would've noticed his feelings and then unceremoniously – no, maybe ceremoniously because he was a stickler for using the correct words – tell him off, making any daydreaming and wishing for the impossible absolutely useless.
It wasn't the same with Brad. He was as warm as Alexander was cold. He allowed himself to be touchy-feely with Lyn because that was the way he was; if he'd had even the smallest inkling that Lyn liked him, he would've felt embarrassed for his friend's sake. It was the most important reason why Lyn was extra careful to keep things under wraps and even act cold when Brad was hugging him too much or for too long.
That messed with Lyn's head. He had a pretty good idea about why people often joked about guys thinking with their other head when they liked someone too much or were simply horny. Despite the logical part of his brain condemning his unrequited crush, he just couldn't stop wishing something would happen one day.
And he used to be so detached from such things. Even discovering that he was gay didn't make him dream of the ideal guy all of a sudden. Lyn had examined his attraction with the cool precision of a surgeon and then decided that it was the sort of thing to give in to once he was on his own, had his own money and was successful.
Of course, all that had fallen apart when he met Brad. Apparently, he was too young to pretend to be so in control of his other head. Too many times, he'd ended up in his room, when thankfully alone, jerking off like crazy just because Brad kissed his cheek or held him under his arm for long, torturous minutes.
He felt relieved when Alexander called it a day. Now, he had free rein to seek Brad out, even if he wasn't answering his phone. Although it wasn't the honorable thing to do, Lyn would casually drop by Brad's dorm room. Maybe he'd end up ruining his friend's little date with his girlfriend, but at least Lyn would get to see him.
That sounded like a solid plan.
***
He didn't have to knock twice, which surprised him. What surprised him even more was that Brad's roommate answered, which meant that his friend wasn't even there.
Lyn's disappointment was short-lived. The guy mumbled something under his breath and then stepped around Lyn to get out of the room. Before Lyn had a chance to ask what that was all about, he was standing in front of the open door and could peek inside.
Only to witness Brad lying wasted on his bed, his hair sticking out in all directions, sleeping with his mouth open, and smelling like a distillery.
Lyn entered and closed the door quietly behind him. Brad's roommate had his bags with him, which meant that he was on his way out early, so it was safe to lock the door without worrying that he might come back.
He tip-toed around the room and opened a window. So Brad was drinking now without them. Not that Lyn was surprised too much about it. With Alexander always being around it was hard to truly let go, even for someone as easygoing as Brad. Yeah, everyone had to give His Majesty a good performance or else.
It wasn't like Alexander didn't have his good points, but with his unblinking stares he gave Lyn the willies. Also, he couldn't stare openly at Brad and memorize every little thing his crush did without worrying that someone else more observant was there, intruding upon his innermost thoughts and feelings.
"Hey, man," he said and shook Brad hard.
His friend mumbled something in his sleep and turned with his face up. The sheet wrapped around him slipped lower. Lyn stopped dead in his tracks. Brad usually wore just a pair of shorts to bed, but it looked like he had chosen to go nude this time around.
It would be so easy, Lyn thought. After all, the part of his brain where his crush presided like an incontestable dictator demanded sacrifices. Sacrifices such as common sense and basic politeness.
He pulled his eyes away. Staring at Brad's chest, at the curly golden hair, didn't help much, but at least he couldn't be blamed for nefarious thoughts if caught in the act.
Lyn placed one hand on Brad's forehead, pushing his sweaty hair away. "Who did you drink with that you got this wasted?"
He yelped as Brad opened his eyes suddenly. "Lyn?" he asked groggily. Then, he pushed himself to a sitting position and looked around. "What happened?"
"Hmm, that should be my line," Lyn said. "It looks to me like you got drunk with some other buddies. How about you take a shower? You stink."
Brad waved like he couldn't be bothered with such things. "I drank alone." He pointed vaguely around.
Lyn only then noticed the empty bottle. "Why? Your grades weren't that bad." Especially since he had personally seen that that was the case.
"Hey," Brad protested, slurring the words. "I'm not stupid." The belligerence underlying those words wasn't lost on Lyn.
"Who said you were? You're just too much of a bon vivant to worry about your studies too much," Lyn joked.
"Bon what?" Brad stared at him with clouded eyes. "That's something you must've picked up from His Majesty." He finger-wagged at Lyn. "You two are so alike. You're two assholes," he declared.
Lyn caught Brad before his friend ended up flat on his face. The sheet fell away, and Lyn fought himself not to look. He pushed Brad to sit and fished a pair of shorts out of a drawer after a bit of searching.
"Dress," he said, holding the shorts with two fingers.
"Why?" Brad asked petulantly. "You told me to shower. You told me I stink."
"Well, buddy, it's for your own good. Let's get you to the bathroom."
Brad had a pretty nice room, one with its own shower, unlike most students. So Lyn didn't have to worry about people seeing him dragging his best friend around while the guy was completely naked.
By the time he managed to get Brad to climb in the shower, Lyn was sweaty, exhausted, and pissed. And since when was he an asshole? Especially one on par with Alexander.
He turned the knob on cold. Brad yelped and cursed, but the shock did the job.
"Lyn, what the fuck?" He pushed his wet hair out of his eyes.
"You deserve it. Now I know you're really awake and can handle showering yourself."
"Don't leave," Brad said.
Lyn kept his back to Brad, studying the cracks in the opposite wall. "Okay. I suppose I'm responsible for your wellbeing at the moment. I don't want you to slip and hit your head. So speak. Why did you drink alone?"
"Sel left me."
"Who the hell is Sel?" Lyn asked, without hiding his irritation.
"Carolina."
The girlfriend. How did one get to Sel from that name? Lyn didn't know and didn't care, although he couldn't stifle a satisfied smile.
"Wow, that's tough," he commented. He could hear Brad washing, but not once did he turn his head.
"Like you'd know how it is," Brad said with unconcealed rancor. "You and Alexander never risk anything. You don't date, so you don't have to suffer."
"I don't know about our mutual friend, but I'm too busy to date."
"Yeah," Brad snorted. "You're just too smart. You're not like me."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Nah, not really. This feels good." Brad sighed in delight.
The mirror was foggy now from the steam. Lyn stole a glance, seeing nothing but a moving shape, no details. His glasses were getting foggy, too.
Brad was drying himself vigorously now. Then he came from behind and hugged Lyn tightly. "You came to the rescue like you always do," he said, right in Lyn's ear.
"Right. I was pissed because you left me with Alexander, and that guy's no fun."
Brad continued to prop himself on Lyn's shoulders. He was completely naked, and Lyn could tell. This was what a lack of shame looked like. Or maybe it was natural to feel so comfortable in your own skin. He wouldn't know; such debaucheries were foreign to him.
"You're just saying that," Brad moaned for show. "You and Alexander go together like a pair of gloves. But you love me more, right?"
"Stop being a brat," Lyn chided his friend.
Brad chuckled and finally moved away. "Hey, how about we go out tonight and pick up some chicks? You and me, the fastest studs in the West. Come on, I need to rebound." He started poking Lyn's back with two fingers to convince him.
"Okay," Lyn said slowly.
It would be another long evening, during which he'd laugh so hard his face would start hurting. Girls always said he was funny. No, he wasn't. But for Brad's sake, he was willing to be whoever his best friend wanted him to be.
TBC