"Alright, Chat! We are eighteen hours into the Elden Ring no-hit run, and your boy Alferd is still standing!"
I screamed into the microphone, my voice cracking slightly. My eyes burned, feeling like they were filled with sand, and my hands were trembling—not from adrenaline, but from the ungodly amount of caffeine coursing through my veins.
I reached for the sleek, black can on my desk. Hyper-Jolt: The Energy Drink for Gods. It was my sixth one. Or maybe my seventh? I'd lost count around 3 AM.
"One more sip for good luck, guys!" I announced, cracking the tab. The sound hissed through the stream, and the chat scrolled by at light speed.
> PogChamp
> RIP your kidneys
> DON'T DO IT ALFERD
I ignored the concern. I took a massive swig. The sugary, battery-acid flavor hit my tongue, and for a second, I felt invincible.
Then, my heart decided to do a dubstep drop.
Thump. Thump-thump. THUD.
A sharp pain, like a lightning bolt, shot through my chest. My vision vibrated. The game screen in front of me—my character standing victoriously over a boss—suddenly stretched and warped into a kaleidoscope of colors.
"Whoa... lag," I muttered, trying to stand up.
I didn't stand up. Instead, my face introduced itself to my mechanical keyboard. The last thing I heard was the muffled sound of my subscribers donating bits, followed by infinite silence.
When I opened my eyes, I expected a hospital ceiling. Or maybe just the endless void of nothingness.
Instead, I was standing on a floor made of clouds. The sky was an impossible shade of gold, and directly in front of me sat a woman on a floating marble throne. She was glowing—literally glowing—with a light that should have been blinding but was somehow soothing.
"Welcome, Alferd Ceiser," she said. Her voice sounded like wind chimes in a gentle breeze.
I blinked. "Is this... the ban appeal server?"
The woman giggled. "Not quite. I am the Goddess of Transmigration. You, my dear child, have passed away."
"The caffeine?" I asked, rubbing my chest. It didn't hurt anymore.
"The caffeine," she confirmed with a solemn nod. "A heart attack induced by 'Hyper-Jolt' and sleep deprivation. A tragedy, really. But, because your death was so... frankly, ridiculous... you have qualified for the Isekai Pity System."
"Isekai?" My ears perked up. I knew this term. I'd read the manga. I'd watched the anime. "You mean I get to go to a fantasy world?"
"Precisely," the Goddess said, waving her hand. A holographic blue window appeared in the air between us. "Usually, souls are wiped clean. But since you have no family to mourn you and your karma is neutral, I am giving you a second chance. A new world of swords and magic awaits."
I looked at the blue window. It looked like a character creation screen.
Name: Alferd Ceiser
Class: Swordsman (Novice)
Level: 1
"Okay," I said, feeling a grin spread across my face. "Do I get a cheat skill? Super speed? Infinite mana?"
The Goddess sighed, looking at a clipboard that materialized in her hand. "Look, Alferd, it's been a long day. I have about four hundred other souls to process—mostly truck accidents. I don't have time to customize a unique skill tree for you."
She tapped the holographic screen. "I'm just going to adjust the sliders for you. Let's save us both some time."
She grabbed the 'Level' slider and yanked it all the way to the right. Then she did the same for Strength, Intelligence, Agility, and Mana.
Ding!
The screen flashed red.
ERROR: VALUES EXCEED LIMIT.
"Whoops," the Goddess muttered. She smacked the side of the hologram like an old TV. The red warning vanished, replaced by a shimmering gold text.
STATUS: MAXED.
"There we go," she beamed. "I've maxed out everything. You won't have to grind. You won't have to train. You are effectively a walking cheat code. Sound good?"
I stared at the screen.
HP: 99999999/99999999
MP: 99999999/99999999
STR: MAX
INT: MAX
"Sounds... boring?" I hesitated. "Where's the challenge?"
"The challenge," the Goddess said as the cloud floor beneath me began to dissolve, "is trying not to break the world by sneezing. Good luck, Alferd!"
"Wait! I don't even have a weapooo—"
I fell. The golden sky rushed past me, replaced by the rushing green of a dense forest. I plummeted toward the ground at terminal velocity.
CRASH!
I hit the earth. Dust and debris exploded outward, flattening trees for a hundred meters in every direction.
I lay there in the crater, coughing. I waited for the pain. I waited for the broken bones.
Slowly, I sat up. My clothes were tattered, but there wasn't a scratch on me. I looked at my hand. I squeezed my fist, and the air pressure alone caused a nearby boulder to crack.
A blue window popped up in my vision.
[System Alert: Welcome to your new life. Current Status: Overpowered.]
"Well," I dusted off my knees, looking at the destruction I'd caused just by landing. "I guess I better find a town before I accidentally destroy the continent."