I look at my screen, dumbfounded.
That is so fucked up. I can't get stronger by killing enemies normally. Instead, I only see progress after dying?!
I look up at the ceiling with the same jagged looking rocks I've become familiar with, and sigh.
Only death rewards me.
"Cool. Thanks for that system. If I wasn't so mentally exhausted, I'd find your shit humorous."
On top of not being able to level up, there's the issue with the giant knight.
It practically tore us to shreds in seconds. How are we supposed to beat something like that?
The memory of that fight replays in my head, over and over—the sound of steel splitting through flesh, the helplessness in everyone's eyes. My stomach churns. And then, a horrible idea worms its way in.
"If I just… kept doing it, killing myself, over and over, I'd be strong enough for anything."
The idea twists in my head like a knot pulling tight.
I'd be able to get back to Nia.
"…No. I don't want to die."
The pain, the fear, all of it. It scares me. Haunts me.
The things I saw.
I don't want to experience that again.
But no matter how much I reject it, the temptation claws back—always lingering at the edge of my thoughts. It wants me to give in. Every part of this cursed system is pushing me toward death, whispering that it's the only way forward. It's like dangling food in front of a starving animal. My chest tightens just thinking about it.
If I rely on dying to grow stronger, then I'm just a puppet dancing on its strings. And if that's true, then how long until I stop fearing it? How long until death stops feeling like death at all?
I shove those thoughts aside before they eat me alive.
I think I've lamented this enough. Now, I need to start coming up with solutions.
We can't avoid the room at all, since it's the only way forward. There are also only a handful of enemies, namely those goblins, to help us level up.
Instead, we need to divide the levels better. Someone needs to get all the xp and be strong enough to fight the knight on their own.
That thought doesn't sit right with me, though. We're a team—if I tell them we need to funnel all our progress into one person, who decides who gets left weak? Who decides who takes the hits while someone else grows stronger?
Kai would volunteer, I'm sure. Blair wouldn't care. Lena would hesitate. And me… I'd probably end up forcing it just to survive. Is that really surviving though, or is it just sacrificing everyone else piece by piece?
"…But didn't they sacrifice me first?"
No… stop thinking about that. There has to be another way.
I look back at my status screen.
"Wait."
What if I learned someone's else's skill? Maybe Lena could teach me her magic.
Of all our attacks, the only person who seemed to do any damage was her.
I'm snapped out of my thoughts as I hear a tired, light voice.
- Isabella: "Ayden? Are you awake?"
"Huh? Yeah I am."
- Isabella: "Are you sure? You look frightened by something."
I'm taken aback by her perceptiveness.
She always sees through me. I hate it.
"Of course I'm fine. In fact, I'm better than fine."
I'm trying my best to force a smile, but it's obvious she isn't buying it. I fail to care though, as I stand up.
It's only when I stand that I notice my legs shaking, still adjusting from the "experience" I suffered through.
It takes me a second to keep my balance.
"So, what's up?"
- Isabella: "Well… Kai said the food is ready and wanted me to come get you."
"Oh food? Great! I'm starving."
I walk past her quickly, her concern written all over her face.
I can't tell them even if I wanted to.
Warm light flickers from the embers at the center, shadows stretching across the stone walls. Everyone's already eating, voices overlapping in casual chatter.
I must have taken a lot longer to get up this time.
Kai grins the moment he spots me.
- Kai: "Yo. You sure took your time to wake up."
- Christy: "Are you feeling better."
Her concern still puts me off. I force another unnatural smile.
"I'm fine, thanks to Isabella. Isn't that right?"
I gesture toward her. She's still staring at me, her brow tight with some lingering worry. The cue seems to snap her out of it.
- Isabella: "Huh? Oh! Yeah, it wasn't a big deal."
I sit, tearing into the food, but my attention drifts almost immediately. Same fire, same food, same conversations—it's like watching the same play from the audience for the second time.
My eyes keep sliding toward Lena. She's sitting with her legs tucked, having a cheery conversation with Kai. She seems happy. It's a huge contrast to the look on her face last time. I feel a knot form in my stomach again.
We will survive. No matter what.
The events that happen in the next room are similar to last time. The difference is that I warn Christy beforehand about the stray goblin—obviously leaving out the fact it will attack Isabella. I wouldn't be able to explain how I knew anyway. He's easily dispatched shortly after.
Aside from that, I'm not really paying much attention to my surroundings. Instead, I'm more focused on Lena.
Her magic is the key. If she can just show me how it works.
After everything has calmed down. I decide a direct approach is better.
"Hey Lena. I have a question. Actually, more like a request."
- Lena: "Oh? Is it something lewd? Sorry, but I'm off limits."
She says this with a cheeky grin on her face, clearly amused with herself.
"Obviously not! What do you take me for?!"
- Lena: "Well, you're a guy, aren't you. Isn't that what you guys like?"
"Okay wow. Thanks for that. But anyway, I wanted you to teach me how to use magic."
- Lena: "Teach you? How would I do that?"
"Just… explain how you cast your spell. I want to try something new. My skill isn't exactly great for fighting."
She hums, closes her eyes, and seems to mull it over.
- Lena: "Well, the way I did it was I thought, 'Yikes! That's a lot of green things. We need to get rid of them somehow.' And then I remembered, oh right, I have a skill for that."
I blink.
"So… you just thought about the skill itself? Like the name or how it's casted?"
- Lena: "Yup!"
Of course. She could've just said that from the start.
"Alright. Thanks. I'll try it out a little later."
As we enter the next room. I feel my entire body shudder as I hear the same phrase again.
???: "First, you must prove your resilience."
The massive knight looms in the center, its armor glinting dully in the firelight.
Okay. This time I'm ready. I won't hesitate like last time.
I reach deep, focusing on Lena's words.
Blazing Fireball. Just think of the name. Just call it forth.
Something ignites inside me—but it's wrong. Fire tears through my veins, my chest locking up like it's going to burst. My vision whites out as if the flames are behind my eyes.
Then comes the voice. Cold, sharp, like metal scraping bone with a hint of joy. Enjoying my suffering.
The same one I've been hearing since the start.
- ???: "You're not allowed to cheat like that."
My body convulses. The fire doesn't escape me—it erupts within me. Pain detonates through every nerve, and I collapse, choking on a scream.
My eyes snap open.
Air. I need air.
I claw at my chest, certain the fire's still inside me, that any second it'll burst out again. My throat rasps as I drag in frantic breaths, each one too short, too fast. The ceiling above me swims in and out of focus, the jagged rocks twisting like they're melting.
I roll onto my side, curling tight. My body remembers it. The burning veins, the pressure, the way my insides detonated. It's all still there, like an echo seared into me. I grip my arms hard enough to bruise, shaking.
You're back. You're alive. It's over.
I repeat it in my head, over and over, but my chest won't listen. The air keeps sticking in my lungs, each breath thinner than the last. My heartbeat slams in my ears, drowning everything else out.
You're not burning. You're not burning.
Finally, I force myself upright, gasping like I've just surfaced from drowning. Sweat drips down my face, cold and clammy against my skin. My hands won't stop trembling.
I shut my eyes, drag in one shaky breath, then another. Slowly, painfully, the world steadies. The fire is gone. The rocks above are just rocks again.
But the memory of that death clings to me. Like it's waiting for the next chance to consume me.
After a while, I wipe the sweat off my face with the back of my hand, my chest still aching.
"…Status."
The familiar screen flickers into view—only it doesn't stop there.
My pulse stutters as the display ripples, rearranging itself like pages flipping open in a book I was never meant to read. For the first time, I see more than the bare-bones stats I've grown used to. Lines of text that were never there before.
And a new skill.
——————————————————————
STATUS SCREEN
Name: Ayden
Level: 1
XP: 0
Attribute Points: 0
Deaths: 5
Species: Human
[ATTRIBUTES]:
Strength: 6
Speed: 6
Perception: 6
Intelligence: 6
Vigor: 6
[SKILLS]:
Phantom's Reset: Lvl 0 –> Death will never rule you.
Mental Fortitude: Lvl 1 –> The user has the strength to stand on their feet under extreme stress. Increased resistance to mind-affecting and sleep-based effects. Improved focus and clarity under duress.
Full Display: Lvl 1 –> Grants user access to more information regarding the system, including their stats and hidden attributes.
——————————————————————
As I'm staring, the screen flickers. For a fraction of a second, new text blazes across the bottom.
"Prove your resilience."
Then it vanishes.
My stomach drops. It isn't just the knight that said it.
It's the system itself.