[Cindy POV]
When dad said he would remarry, it caused my mind to go into a panic. My heart felt heavy, I didn't want him to remarry, not because I wanted for my mom to see my dad with another woman.
It was something much deeper, something I hid all these years growing up, while he took care of me. Spoiled me, gave all the time of his to me, without thinking of finding another woman to love. I craved for it, I clung to him everyday, he was my light.
After the car accident with my mom dying, I cried so much, it hurt so much, but seeing my dad stay strong for me. I had to stay strong for him too, he would sometimes cry in his room, thinking I didn't notice. So, throughout these years, I slept beside him. Even now, I did it without a care, I wanted too.
To stay by his side till he gets old. To no separate myself from him, he was my dad, my family. So, during these years, I acted like a mature woman, like my mother. I learned how to cook many dishes, like my mom, I copied to what my mom loved to make a lot for my dad. Learning about his favorite dishes, doing laundry, while he was at work.
Then, as I enter in middle school, I copied how my mom dressed herself with, I wore glasses like she did. I asked dad what her favorite places were, the dates they took, how he proposed to her. I continued to learn more about my mom and dad's life together, how she acts when dad spoils her. I tie my hair into a ponytail which is the hairstyle my mom does.
But, also I let it down as dad loves both hairstyles like that.
I didn't want him to be sad anymore, I wanted to embrace him more closely. I developed feelings for my own dad, my blood related family member. Seeing him as a man, but still my father.
I wanted him to see him as a pillar to lean on, as a woman that cares for him not because i'm just his daughter. As a woman that would support him through anything.
I want to fill in mom's place and be there at his side. That's why I copy everything mom does. But, it was all a lie.
Now....I don't know, I want dad to see me as me.
I want dad to love me as a woman. I want dad to see me as a woman, I couldn't describe how much I love my dad. Being his daughter wasn't enough for me, I wanted to be more than that.
His wife
I craved for it, being his wife meant staying by his side till death, to be inseparable and have a unbroken bond. To love each other forever.
To even make that dream even more beautiful, was to carry his child right here. Stroking my belly, I would make dad, a father once again. It was so immoral to think of this, society wouldn't approve of this. But, I want this more than anything, I don't care if society judges me for loving my own dad.
I couldn't help hold a picture of my mom when she was young.
"I'm sorry mom...."
Forgive me, your own daughter is going to take away your husband, the man you loved. It shouldn't hurt you, as i'm your own blood. I'll keep dad happy, I'll never let him feel sorrow again.
I put it away, where my dad stored the pictures of her.
Right now, I had to come up with a plan to have dad's mental crumble. A plan to where he would only see me as his way to find love. To be left with me as his only option, it will be slow, but it will pay off when dad has his focus on me only. For his broken heart, to be healed by me, while I listen to how his dates went.
He'll see how I would do anything to keep him happy. I can't seduce him yet, he'll just put a wall between us. Which would make our relationship strained, then who knows, he won't let me sleep beside him anymore.
I didn't want that, so I had to play it safe, smart, so he doesn't push me away. I have to break down that wall slowly.
I'm sorry again mom, manipulating dad for him to love me. I just want that dad.
I went online on dad's computer, as he let me use it. Quickly setting up a profile on a dating website called 'Litsy'. I'll need to create a description, his likes, hobby's and the such.
For now it would detailed truth to how he lives his life, but I won't let any of them get close to him.
Forgive me as well dad.....
Your own daughter wants to be with you.
***************
What a twist!
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