The night had long since strangled the last embers of dusk.
Velvet clouds obscured the moon, and a hush settled over the sprawling Duke's estate like a predator lying in wait. Somewhere beyond the manor walls, owls hooted their haunting lullabies, and crickets whispered secrets in the tall grass.
Inside the east wing servant corridor, however, silence was a foreign concept.
"I can't breathe," Rei hissed as he dangled head-first into a dark vertical shaft. "Who designed this thing for elves?!"
His legs flailed uselessly above the dumbwaiter's narrow opening. His nightshirt rode up his waist, exposing too much thigh for his own comfort. One slipper had fallen off and vanished into the abyss below.
"This is fine," he muttered to himself, one hand grasping the dusty rope. "This is normal. Totally sane behavior. Sneaking out in my pajamas. Through a medieval food elevator. At two in the morning. Definitely not the actions of a traumatized man with a death timer hanging over his head."
A synthetic chime buzzed in his ear.
[System Notification: Host's current status: Escaping like a rodent. +1 Creativity. -5 Dignity.]
[Commentary: All your stats are in shambles.]
"I swear I'll uninstall you the moment I learn magic."
[You say that every time.]
Rei took a deep breath. The air in the dumbwaiter shaft smelled like old cheese and cobwebs, but it was preferable to the lavender suffocation of his bedchamber — and the dozen yandere girls who had decided that "sleeping together" meant recreating a human sandwich with him as the filling.
Drakana, in particular, had curled her dragon tail around his leg like a boa constrictor. Every time he shifted, she growled in her sleep. Seraphina had claimed his arm and muttered wedding vows against his shoulder. Rosette, the deceptively sweet maid, had implanted something beneath his pillow — he was 90% sure it was a magical tracker disguised as a rose-scented sachet.
And Lilia? His older sister had murmured "till death do us part" in seven different languages before kissing his forehead and whispering, "Soon…"
He hadn't slept. He had merely survived.
Which is why Escape Plan Alpha had been born.
Rei descended slowly, using the old dumbwaiter pulley rope to lower himself. The shaft echoed with every creak and cough of the rusting system. Dust clung to his face, and something crawled across his cheek — he batted it away before it could bite.
Below him, a faint circle of moonlight flickered through the lower floor's opening. That was his target: the servant pantry near the kitchen — a short jog from the back courtyard where supply wagons came in twice a week. He had scoped it during "nap time," which was code for "fifteen minutes when nobody was actively declaring marriage."
His plan was simple: sneak out, steal a cloak, hop a produce cart, and vanish into the mountains. Maybe fake his death. Maybe start a bakery. Anything but being a living tug-of-war rope in a harem of obsessive, magically overpowered noblewomen.
Another creak.
The rope gave a violent lurch.
His heart stopped.
"Don't you dare—"
SNAP!
The pulley above broke.
Rei plummeted, limbs flailing, a short scream tearing from his throat before—
WHUMP!
He hit something solid. Pain shot up his spine. The dumbwaiter basket, half-stocked with stale bread and a sack of potatoes, had broken his fall.
"Ow…"
He groaned and blinked upward at the jagged slice of moonlight far above. His head throbbed. His hip was definitely bruised. But nothing was broken.
Until a new chime struck.
[Yandere Radar Activated.]
"What?!"
An arcane radar diagram shimmered into view — a floating holographic disc with Rei's body at the center. Blips began to appear. First one. Then three. Then seven. All glowing crimson. All converging from different directions.
[Threat Level: 10/10. Approach Pattern: Surrounding.]
[Prediction: You have approximately 2 minutes before interception.]
Rei screamed internally. Then externally.
"No no no! I was stealthy! I avoided the tripwire cookies! I even flushed the tracking hair Rosette left in my shoe!"
[Correction: She planted four. Two in your hair. One in your pajama drawstring. One in your bloodstream.]
"What?!"
[It was disguised as a vitamin. You said it tasted like strawberry.]
"Curse this entire world—!"
He jumped off the dumbwaiter's basket and scrambled into the pantry. Boxes of flour and shelves of pickled beets loomed in the darkness. He grabbed a tablecloth, fashioned it into a crude cloak, and bolted toward the rear hallway.
He didn't get ten steps before the first obstacle appeared.
A gust of wind blew open a nearby door — revealing Princess Seraphina, clad in a nightgown lined with golden embroidery, her broken tiara freshly polished. Her eyes lit up.
"Rei~!"
"Nope!"
He backpedaled and took the east hallway instead.
But from the left corridor came a growl — deep, feral.
"Mine."
A silhouette of wings and fire blocked the passage — Drakana, her pupils slitted, tail whipping behind her. She crouched like a predator ready to pounce.
He swerved.
Rosette stepped from the shadows of the servant stairs, holding a tea tray and smiling gently.
"Master Rei," she said sweetly. "Please return to bed. I've warmed the milk. And the cuffs."
"Hell no!"
He turned on his heel, barely avoiding a beartrap that had somehow appeared near the broom closet.
How?!
[Rosette laid them during "bath time."]
He ducked under a shelf and dove through a curtain. He emerged in the laundry wing, where drying silks fluttered like ghosts.
Then came a chorus of voices.
"Rei!"
"Darling~"
"My beloved!"
Half a dozen more yandere girls appeared from every possible entrance. One dropped from a ventilation hatch. Another crawled out of a laundry bin. One was even disguised as a coat rack.
He froze.
Then, like a true survivor—
He ran.
Barefoot. Clutching the tablecloth cloak. Screaming.
The chase began.
They pursued like wolves. Laughter echoed in the halls. Spells illuminated the air. Fireballs burst against stone walls. One girl conjured rose vines to trip him — he leapt over them like a terrified deer.
He burst into the greenhouse corridor — vines everywhere, flowers blooming under moonlight. The glass ceiling above shimmered.
[Path analysis: Jump through the window. 60% chance of injury. 90% chance of escape.]
"I'll take those odds!"
He grabbed a flowerpot and hurled it through the window.
CRASH!
Glass exploded outward. Cold night wind howled in. Without hesitation, Rei leapt.
He landed on a pile of mulch.
His body ached. His ankle protested.
But he was free.
Panting, he rose and limped toward the treeline. The outer gate was visible beyond the orchard.
Freedom. Sweet, blessed—
"Haaaaaaaah~"
A warm breath tickled his neck.
He turned.
Drakana stood behind him, eyes gleaming in the moonlight, nostrils flaring.
"I knew you were here," she whispered. "You smell like fear and linen starch."
Rei shrieked.
She lunged.
He zigzagged through the orchard, knocking over barrels and crates.
In the distance, a bell tower began to ring.
[Alert Level: Midnight Madness.]
[Status: Entire estate is now awake.]
[Commentary: Well done. You've reached Full Yandere Alert Mode™.]
"How is this my life?!"
He dove into a haystack.
Drakana's voice purred inches above.
"I can smell your heartbeat…"
"…stop being sexy about it!"
Just as she leaned down to snatch him—
A blinding flash of light exploded in the sky.
A magic flare. Crimson. It bloomed like a rose above the estate.
More voices called from the forest.
"They found him!"
"Rei!"
"Wait for me, love!"
He curled deeper into the haystack.
Then—
[System Notification: Emergency Escape Failed.]
[Bonus Penalty Activated: Cuddle Pile Punishment.]
He whimpered.
Footsteps approached.
Dozens of them.
The hay parted.
Drakana grinned down at him, claws flexing.
"Found you"
And with that—
All went dark.
To be continued…