It took him a while to figure out how to change the settings in his dark realm. The narrow pier he woke up on turned into the broad pier truly reminiscent of the ones in Lotus Pier. Lotuses and water lilies of all colours started popping out of the empty, dark, deep water and to make things more comfortable for himself, he made a large floating pavilion with lotus lanterns drifting around it.
It proved to be a good move because as soon as he was about to settle down to sit in his pavilion, he received some visitors. He saluted immediately, even though he didn't know their names. They were clearly senior ranking officials, dressed in black embellished with silver and gold embroidery. It was reminiscent of his own black robes, except his was embellished with red embroidery of lotuses, stars and butterflies(1) at the hem.
"Greetings, my Lords," he said, unsure of what to call them.
"Fuxing Zushi," greeted the one with a dark complexion. He had a large, imposing figure and the charisma of someone calm, wise and trustworthy. On his forehead was a crescent symbol. "I am Yanluo Wang(2), but you can call me Yama."
Wei Wuxian blinked in shock. Yanluo Wang!?
"And I am Ling Wen(3)," said the other. She was sporting prominent eye bags and was carrying a truly hefty amount of documents. "I am the Goddess of Civil Matters."
"Uh. Please to meet both of you," Wei Ying bowed low, head still reeling at being in the presence of two senior gods. "Please call me Wei Wuxian."
"Very well," Yanluo Wang agreed, smoothing his beard.
"Please have a seat," Wei Ying offered, gesturing to the pavilion. Which fortunately had a fresh pot of tea and some tidbits that he had been thinking of enjoying.
"Thank you," Ling Wen said, walking briskly to the table while balancing the scrolls and documents. She maneuvered them all onto the round table and sat down as the other two black-clad gods slowly walked to the pavilion.
"You should have a little more light," Yanluo Wang commented, pointing to the midnight sky.
"Erm," Wei Ying floundered, unsure how to turn the night sky into daylight. Is it even possible? "Should I make more lanterns?"
"No. You can do it like this," Yanluo Wang said. And a glowing moon started appearing from the horizon, rising quickly into the sky. It was so round and bright that it lit up the pavilion and the pier.
"Oh," Wei Ying said, staring at the luminescent disk.
"Just because our realms are in the dark doesn't mean that we need to walk around blindly," Yanluo Wang commented. His bushy beard twitched and Wei Ying had the impression that the senior God of the Underworld was laughing at him.
"Thank you, sir," he said, nodding his head in understanding.
"It'll also make your paperwork easier," Ling Wen said, patting the mountain of folders.
"Paperwork?" he squeaked in apprehension. Was it too late for him to jump into the water and swim away? Wait. Wasn't he the God of Renewal? What paperwork could he possibly have?
"Ah, unfortunately, there was an influx of souls due to a certain war," Yanluo Wang replied wryly. "The Ten Kings of the Underworld think that it is only right that you should take some of our workload since you contributed to most of them."
Wei Wuxian stared at the larger god in disbelief.
"What!?"
***
It didn't take him long to realise that this was punishment for him.
Because the paperwork just kept piling up.
Ling Wen returned five times with assistants in tow to bring him more cases to work on.
"Usually Zhuanlun Wang(4) is the one in charge of reincarnations but since he is already overburdened by the rebirths of the occupants of Diyu (5), I think it's only fitting for you to see to those that have already been approved for reincarnation," Yanluo Wang said, watching with amusement as the assistants walk pass, dragging bags of scrolls.
"But I'm new..." Wei Ying ended that with a whining tone as he watched his beautiful pavilion become stacked with documents of all kinds. Can he kick them into the water and act like it was an accident? He shot a look at the very grim-looking Ling Wen and decided that he could not afford to be suicidal a second time.
"That's why we are giving you the ones that are the easiest," Yanluo Wang said. "Read through their history, their suffering and their greatest achievements. Then weight if they deserve to be reincarnated into a better life or one that will balance their karma in the next life."
"What if I do it wrongly?" Wei Ying asked, fingers trembling. Everyone knew that he made questionable judgements. Look at the Wens. He thought he was doing the right thing when he saved them. Doing right by them, when he had, in fact, prolonged their suffering by bringing them to the Burial Mounds.
"Then you make amends," Ling Wen answered for King Yama. "You make a mistake, then repent and make it right."
"That's right," Yanluo Wang said, brushing his beard with his hand. The motion reminded Wei Ying of Lan-xiansheng. Inevitably, that thought made him think of Lan Zhan and he was hit by the feeling of missing him so much that he nearly teared up.
It made him wonder how everyone was. Jiang Cheng. Lan Zhan. And... And..
"Yanluo Wang," he called out to the senior official. "May I ask if there is anyone called Wen Yuan in there?"
Ling Wen and Yanluo Wang exchanged looks.
"Ah, I believe that boy is still alive," Yanluo Wang said, looking up to recall his recent list of the dead. He had a fairly good memory but even he hit the limit during the Sunshot Campaign. He and the other Kings of Hell was quite happy to welcome someone new to help with the burden of the dead, even if Wei Wuxian wasn't exactly one of them.
Ling Wen nodded. "As far as I know, his file is not here."
Wei Ying sighed a breath of relief. A-Yuan was alive! But then, who rescued him?
Before he could ask more questions, Yanluo Wang said, "If you want to visit the mortal world, you must learn to control your powers first."
"And do at least half of these paperwork first. You need to reduce as much backlog as possible," Ling Wen continued. "See if you can get an assistant of sort."
"Assistant..." Wei Ying parroted. "Will a soul do?"
"Depending," Ling Wen answered cautiously. "Who do you have in mind?"
"The Wen siblings."
***
Doing things alone was a pain in the ass, that was for sure.
Ling Wen had to file paperwork to request Wen Qing's soul as an assistant before Yanluo Wang can even remove her soul from Diyu, where she awaited her judgement and possible reincarnation. Apparently, it was easier to get reincarnated than to become the assistant to a god. Damn bureaucracy.
He spent hours pouring on the oldest files. The 'backlog' from the war, the first casualties from the Sunshot Campaign. A lot of them were the victims of the Wens soldiers and some of them were even Wens themselves. Some were part of the main family that protested against Wen Ruohan's actions towards the other sects before the war started. In a way, they were the easiest to get through because even though they were innocent and shouldn't have had their lives cut short because of the cruelty of one man, they didn't die by his hand. Once he reached the victims of the war that died of fierce corpses though, that's when everything started spiraling for him.
Instead of just Wen Dogs and the opposition, reading about their lives and their families made them real humans to Wei Wuxian. These were people too. They had loved ones too. They were just people who had the misfortune of being born under the rule of a psychopathic power-hungry man.
At the beginning of his ordeal, he had wished for wine to help him cope with the dreariness of reading file after file and watching the lives of the individuals pass by on the surface of still water in front of his pavilion. Now, he wished for wine to help him get through the files without the guilt weighing down on him. He might have been a little more lenient with his judgements on some of them than he should have during those times, but he's pretty sure that they deserve it, considering they had the misfortune of meeting him on the battlefield back then.
Still, being alone in a dark, empty place with no one to communicate with (except during the occasional visits from one of the Kings or Ling Wen) was not conducive for his mental health as he tried to drown himself one time by sticking his head into the viewing pond.
Unfortunately, he was a god that couldn't possibly die from such a measly method, in his own realm no less. So, as he was screaming into the void that was the bottomless pond, someone grabbed the back of his robes and pulled him out.
"You idiot, what are you doing!?" a familiar voice shouted at him.
"Wen Qing?" he said, throat hoarse from his scream-crying.
"Who else!?" Wen Qing snarked. "You asked for me to come help you, right?"
Wei Wuxian nodded, tears still streaming down his cheeks. Seeing that, Wen Qing sighed and sat beside him on the pier.
"You idiot. Torturing yourself needlessly," Wen Qing said.
"Where's Wen Ning?" Wei Ying asked, scrubbing the tears away. Seeing that, Wen Qing sighed in annoyance. Dressed in luxurious, noble robes and looking exponentially healthy than he had ever been, Wei Wuxian would have looked very well-fitted with the other gods. But even with all these riches, her friend, whom she considered as close as a brother, still didn't carry any handkerchief and still ugly cried horrendously.
"Last I knew, he's in Koi Tower," Wen Qing answered. "They kept him locked up and burned me."
"I'll- I'll go get him," Wei Ying said, "I'll do it now-"
"Wei Wuxian," Wen Qing said, firmly. "You are no longer Yiling Laozu. You are now the Venerable Patriarch of Renewal. Don't simply shirk off your responsibilities to go about to become a hero!"
"But Wen Ning...!"
"Lord Ling Wen said that you are not to leave until you have lessened at least half the backlog," Wen Qing said firmly. "I know you don't like to follow the rules but you are new here and there are a lot of gods here we cannot afford to offend simply because we want to rescue my brother."
"Furthermore, what can they do to him? He's already dead," she continued. When Wei Wuxian opened his mouth to answer her, she interrupted him. "If they destroy him, he will just come to the afterlife."
When Wei Wuxian's livid expression did not abate, she continued.
"Think of it this way, your nephew might be there," she said. "If you do anything to LanlingJin, it may affect him too."
The mention of Jin Ling got him to quell his murderous intent. He never got to see his nephew before he died and that devastated him more than even his own death.
"Then, what should I do?" he asked, slumping down even more.
"For now, do your work. Learn to use your magic and watch over your nephew, A-Yuan and A-Ning," Wen Qing said. "And when the time comes, we will have a plan in mind to execute."
Looking into her determined eyes, Wei Wuxian found himself nodding, feeling much less uncertain of his role. Instead of drifting like an unmoored boat, he now had a clearer vision of what he should do.
He wasn't alone now.
***
At present time, Koi Tower was (mostly) asleep. There were cultivators patroling around but Wei Wuxian walked past them with no care. They couldn't see him, and it's not like they could stop him even if they could see him.
It had taken him a while to find out the location of Wen Ning, as it took a little longer than he would have liked to master the extent of his powers and abilities. It really was fortunate that he had Wen Qing, who took up the bulk of his paperwork. Most days, the only thing he needed to do was give his stamp of approval. (Of course, she would only let him get away with it if he was busy with testing the boundaries of his powers, answering prayers from afar, learning new skills from the other Gods or inventing new spells. If she ever caught him lazing around, she would give him a talking to so bad that he would try to drown himself in the water just to get away from her nagging. Once or twice, she even helped him go for a swim by kicking/throwing him into the water.)
With purpose, the God of Renewal continued to stride through the halls of Koi Tower, even going so far as walking past Jin Guangyao. His fingers twitched but he held himself back.
Soon.
Soon, this little snake will have his due. Him and his father.
Everything was already laid out for them and they WOULD lie in the beds that they both made.
And to make sure that their stay was comfortable, he'd arrange for them to share a personal torture room in Diyu.
He walked through the hidden doorway that led to the secret workshop where they hid two very important people. Where they were experimenting with dark cultivation (or demonic cultivation according to the self-righteous cultivation sects) with his ill-gotten notes.
"Xue Yang," Wei Wuxian whispered, spotting the young man who was gleefully sticking long nails into a poor corpse's head. "You little bastard."
He'd been watching this little shit for sometime now, especially since he joined the Jin sect (that was already in Wei Wuxian's shit list for the load of crimes that they had accumulated). After Xue Yang attacked Baixue Temple, killed the disciples and blinded his Shishu's soulmate, Wei Wuxian was determined to return the favour.
Wei Ying reached out to touch the forehead of the corpse that Xue Yang was playing with and the fierce corpse immediately slumped, the spirit within dissipating into the afterlife.
"What!? What the hell!?" Xue Yang shouted, incensed, thinking that he had accidentally gone too far. "It was only two nails!"
Wei Wuxian left him to rant and smash things in his anger. The little turd would get his own due soon enough.
He got to a table where a large man laid and inspected the man. Fortunately, he was still alive and though his wounds were severe, it was nothing that Wei Ying couldn't regenerate.
Then, he turned around and walked into the wall that separated the room to the prison where his old friend was held.
"Wen Ning," he called out.
No answer.
"A-Ning," he tried again, going closer to the fierce corpse. When there was still no answer, he inspected the unresponsive fierce corpse and found two long nails stuck into his friend's head. He pulled them out as gently as he could but it was obviously causing suffering to Wen Ning, who roared vociferously. Wei Wuxian could hear clanging as Xue Yang made his way into the prison but he ignored it in favour of inspecting the crudely made nails.
"A-Ning, it's time to go," he told the fierce corpse that had slumped down, the chains being the only things holding him up.
"A-Ning, get up," Wei Wuxian coaxed, making a slashing motion. The thick chains keeping the fierce corpse in check snapped and Wen Ning slumped forwards for a moment before his eyes snapped open, immediately zoning in on Xue Yang, who had just stepped into the prison.
"What the fuck!" the youth cursed, backtracking to close the door.
"Wen Ning," Wei Wuxian whispered into the fierce corpse's ear. "Take his eyes."
Wen Ning roared as he jumped on the demonic cultivator.
***
Wen Ning's awareness returned in slow increments.
"A-Ning, welcome back," purred a familiar voice.
He blinked up at the impishly smiling face of Wei Wuxian.
"Wei-gongzi?" he croaked. What happened? Weren't he and his sister at Koi Tower? Did Wei-gongzi come to rescue them? Wait... didn't Jin Guangshan announce that they were going to burn his sister!?
He sat up quickly, head nearly colliding with Wei Wuxian's.
"A-Jie!" Wen Ning exclaimed. "A-jie! Wei-gongzi! They said they were going to burn her!"
"A-Ning," Wei Wuxian said calmly, but sadly. "Your sister, she is dead."
"No..." Wen Ning whimpered. It was a terrible feeling, to be able to feel sad but be unable to cry.
"It's alright, Wen Ning," Wei Wuxian continued. "She's safe now in the afterlife."
Wen Ning blinked at him in confusion.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well, it's a long story," Wei Wuxian said, taking a seat beside him on his bed, which was inexplicably a flower bed.
Wen Ning looked around, confused as to where he was. It looked familiar but it was filled with flowers and foliage of all kinds. Was that a radish patch over there?
"Wei-gongzi, where are we?" Wen Ning asked before Wei Ying could start his story.
"Why, we're in Burial Mounds, of course," Wei Wuxian answered with a wide, smug smile.
"What!?"
***
"So my sister is now your adjutant?"
"That's right," Wei Wuxian confirmed with a nod.
"And she still haven't attempted to kill you for shirking your duty?"
"Well, she did try but I'm a god now, so not that easy to kill," Wei Wuxian said, with a shrug. "Also, hey!"
Wen Ning gave him a stiff smile. He looked much more happier and at ease knowing that his sister and family were safe now.
"So, now, the most important issue at hand for you," Wei Wuxian started, turning serious. "I can let you join them in the afterlife, but there are a lot of things still unsettled here in the mortal world. So will you help me first before you join your family?"
"Of course, Wei-gon- I mean, Lord Wei," Wen Ning answered.
"Please don't call me that," Wei Wuxian said with a cringe. "When your sister does that in front of the other gods, it gives me goosebumps."
Wen Ning smiled stiffly again.
"Alright, I have a mission for you," Wei Wuxian said, moving on to another topic.
"What is it, Lord Wei?"
"Don't call me that," Wei Wuxian answered absentmindedly. Then, he pointed to large figure lying on the flower bed behind Wen Ning.
"I want you to help me to take care of Nie Mingjue."
One, or rather, two of the hardest files for him to open was that of Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan.
By right, because of his association with them, he was not supposed to process them for reincarnation since Zhuanlun Wang was concerned that he could not be unbias. But he'd begged the Tenth King of Hell for permission to at least meet them before the couple was sent off. It took a lot of wheedling and downright tears before the exasperated senior relented.
The King warned him that there were lots of things in their lives that were unresolved and regrets that had to be addressed before he was allowed to see them, so he handed Wei Ying the files and told him to reflect long and hard on what he wanted to say as this was his last chance to see them as they were.
And so, Wei Wuxian, now titled Fuxing Zushi, sat down and opened the two files, watching as the mirror pond showed him the lives of the two people who were essentially his foster parents...
Jiang Fengmian was the only child of two people who were clearly in an arranged marriage. They were good co-leaders of Yunmeng and stern parents, but they didn't touch each other and barely even looked at each other. Their affection for the young boy only went so far as nods and he was brought up mostly by caretakers. They were so distant from him that they may as well be strangers.
It was, sadly, quite reminiscent of how his foster parents were with each other, except worse. At least Jiang Fengmian praised them when they managed a break through and pat their heads while Yu Ziyuan would make sure that the chefs made their favourite dishes, even when she vehemently denied it.
Jiang Fengmian's parents said that he was too soft, too amiable to be a sect leader, so he tried to develop a more assertive behaviour, especially among his peers. But despite how hard he worked, it never seemed to satisfy his parents. It was never enough and he was always considered a disappointment despite the fact that he was well-liked amongst his peers.
He watched as Jiang Fengmian, now a teenager, met his mother and fell in love with her vivaciousness and cleverness. She was very much like Wei Ying, fearless and brilliant, burning brighter than any other he had ever met. It really was not surprising that Jiang Fengmian wasn't the only one who fell in love with her.
When she rebuffed his affections for his best friend, Wei Ying watched as the young sect leader gracefully accepted his defeat and blessed their marriage with happiness laced with wistfulness. But contrary to what Wei Ying had dreaded to see, it wasn't just Cangse Sanren that he stared after as they left Lotus Pier. There was a deep longing etched on his face as he watched the happy couple leave him behind.
It was clear that Jiang Fengmian wanted what they had, a loving relationship between two people.
And then, he met a beautiful and equally amazing young woman with a sharp tongue that hid a vulnerable heart. She was very much different from Cangse Sanren, who was kind and playful while she was sardonic and strict. But she was just as clever and determined.
And he was in love with her.
He'd always been in love with her.
Wei Ying wondered how he and all the others had been so blind as not to see the love that was reflected in Jiang Fengmian's eyes whenever he looked at his wife.
Every time she spoke, his attention would be on her and no one else.
But he didn't know how to show her that she really was his first choice, not someone he had 'settled' for and certainly not because Meishan Yu 'pressured' him into marrying her. He begin to look resigned whenever she didn't believe him when he told her that he loved her and she took it as a sign that he was getting sick of her cynicism. As a sign that he was getting tired of her.
Then they had an argument and he accidentally broke her hairpin. He'd been out fixing the hairpin he broke the night the Wens attacked Lotus Pier.
He'd been too late to return.
He'd been too late to tell her how much he cherished her.
And too late to tell her that she was the only one in his heart. Had been ever since he first saw her wield Zidian against the Boar Demon.
The last thing he ever saw was her beloved face as she cried out to him, once again a disappointment to his loved one...
Wei Ying sniffled as wiped his tears off. Then, he shuffled Yu Ziyuan's folder forward and opened it...
On the surface of the pool, reflected Yu Ziyuan's birth. She was born the third daughter to the Meishan Matriarch. She was talented, strong and beautiful. More so than her two elder sisters. And everyone knew it too. This sparked a competitiveness among the three sisters that should have been healthy but turned jealous and ugly as they grew older and men started paying more attention to Yu Ziyuan.
But Yu Ziyuan only had eyes for one man. The man that became YunmengJiang's sect leader at the young age of 19 and was hailed as one of the most eligible bachelors in the cultivation world.
"Just give up. Jiang Fengmian is in love with Cangse Sanren," her sister said venomously, having caught her staring after the handsome young sect leader. "Everyone knows that."
The brainworm made it's way into her mind and stayed, repeating itself over and over in her head even when Jiang Fengmian started paying her attention and started courting her with expensive gifts and flattering words.
When Jiang Fengmian sent a marriage proposal to her family, Yu Ziyuan was elated but at the same time, unhappy.
He's settling for me, she told herself. I am only the second choice because he can't have HER.
Still, HE was her best option. She couldn't stay in Meishan, to be governed by her increasingly hostile older sisters. Her other marriage prospects weren't as good as Jiang Fengmian.
And the truth was, she truly wanted to be with him.
Even if he didn't really want her.
On their wedding day, her groom was so very handsome, so kind and so very gentle with her. Her sisters had told her that her first time would hurt, though how they knew that when they were both unmarried was a mystery to her.
She was happy. For a while. Even more so when she got pregnant and gave birth to a girl. Her little girl was born early and was in poor health, so for a while, neither her nor Fengmian knew if she would survive. Then, Fengmian named her Yanli, saying that he couldn't bear to part with her.
Miraculously, little Jiang Yanli survived, and though she wouldn't be able to cultivate to a full core, Yu Ziyuan was still grateful to the heavens for sparing her firstborn.
Then she got pregnant again a year later and her joy returned. All the insecurity of having not given her husband a strong male heir was finally wiped away. She relished in her pregnancy and the way Fengmian doted on their toddler daughter.
But the poisonous words in her mind continued eating at her. And when Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze came back to Lotus Pier to visit one day, equally pregnant and happy, the little parasite in her mind became a raging monster that latched onto her heart relentlessly.
Suddenly, Yanli's name carried a different meaning.
Was he thinking of HER when he named her? Did he wish his daughter was born from that woman? How dare he?! How could he!?
Then, SHE gave birth to her healthy first born with beautiful grey eyes and a ready smile. And Yu Ziyuan, stressed from all the malicious thoughts swirling in her head, gave birth 5 days later to a perfect little boy who was still too small.
Once again, she was second.
She wept over her son when her husband finally arrived, having missed the birth while on an urgent night hunt. He fretted over her, desperately asking the midwives about both mother and son's health. Not for a second did Jiang Fengmian thought of Cangse Sanren or her newborn, but Yu Ziyuan, so deep in the darkness of her own mind, did not notice at all.
Despite all his attentiveness to her and her son, every time he looked at the other woman felt like a dagger to her heart, and even after that woman left with her husband, Yu Ziyuan couldn't stop the green-eyed monster from festering. Every word that came out of her mouth became vitriol and she constantly reminded him and herself that she was nothing but a second choice.
Her heart became an ugly, shriveled thing that longed for something she could never have. Or so she thought.
Then, that woman died and Jiang Fengmian became obsessed with looking for her son. So much so that he neglected his own son and daughter. After he found the boy, he took that child home and gave him everything that he should have given to Ah-Cheng. His attention, his praise, his love.
It was terrible of her to be jealous of a poor orphaned child but she couldn't help but feel bitter at being reminded every time she saw him that she would always be her husband's second choice and now, her child too was being treated the same way.
She became even more harsh, especially to that woman's child.
(There were moments though, that Wei Ying remembered and was reminded by the flashes in the viewing pond, moments of softness that Yu Ziyuan shared with him when no one was in sight. A gentle pat on the head when he cried from missing his parents. Sweets she gave to him and told him to share with Jiang Cheng. How she would tell the chef to cook his favourite dish and claimed that she felt like eating it that day. She wasn't always so hard on him like most people thought. Perhaps, the person she was hardest on was herself because she thought she could never measure up to a dead woman.)
It was at her dying moments, when she watched the light in Jiang Fengmian's eyes dimmed away, that she realised that it wasn't HER that he had spent his whole life with. Wasn't HER that he called his wife and had two beautiful, perfect children with. Wasn't HER name that he whispered with his dying breath, eyes never leaving Yu Ziyuan's.
If she could turn back time, she would do everything all over again. Marry the man she loved. Have the life she truly wanted but leave all the hate, jealousy and insecurity behind.
"In our next life, let's be husband and wife again," she whispered to her dead husband, clutching desperately at his limp hand. "And I swear I'll be a better wife to you."
Then the sword came down on her and she knew no more.
***
It took Wei YIng hours, days (he doesn't know how long) before he could rally himself up to meet them. He'd spent a lot of time crying his eyes out, psyching himself up and then chickening out at the last minute in front of Zhuanlun Wang's door.
Finally, Wen Qing kicked him into the water for teeter-tottering aimlessly, unproductively and cowardly.
"Just get it over with!" she reprimanded him. "Putting yourself and them on hold for so long is not going to help anyone."
The truth was, he was ashamed. He had promised that he would take care of Jiang Cheng and Shijie but he had failed. Badly. He didn't even know how to face them with how badly he fucked up.
But Wen Qing was right. Putting it off any further was just detrimental to everyone.
So he steeled himself, went to Zhuanlun Wang and finally obtained permission to summon his foster parents' souls for a last sent off.
The moment they appeared before him, Wei Ying fell to his knees and kowtowed.
"Jiang-shushu, Yu-furen. Wei Ying has failed you!" he said.
"You silly child. You're a God. You shouldn't bow to anyone anymore."
Unexpectedly, it wasn't Jiang Fengmian who spoke up first. Though the hands that pulled him up was definitely the ex-sect leader's.
"Stand up straight. Lift your chin up. Your posture is horrendous!" Yu Ziyuan said, tone strict but devoid of any vitriol. "You are a god. Be proud of yourself."
"That's right, A-Xian," said Jiang Fengmian with a pat on his shoulder and back. "You have achieved greatness."
"I've achieved nothing!" Wei Ying denied. "I caused so much trouble for everyone. And so many people died because of me."
"Don't be foolish," Yu Ziyuan said just as Jiang Fengmian interrupted by saying, "Many more were saved because of you."
"But the Wens came to Lotus Pier because of me," Wei Ying countered.
"Don't be presumptuous," Yu Ziyuan snapped in annoyance. "Those vermin would have come anyway because that Wen Ruohan would use any excuse to subjugate us. You were just a convenient scapegoat."
"But you said-" he started but was interrupted.
"I know what I said," Yu Ziyuan said. "And it wasn't true. I was bitter and vile because *I* wanted a scapegoat too."
Wei Ying paused, taken aback by the admittance.
Yu Ziyuan sighed, looking exasperated, perhaps at both herself and Wei Ying.
"I was terrible to you," she admitted. "It was never your fault that you were born to Cangse Sanren. And neither was it her fault that I was petty, jealous and faulty."
"San-niang, you're not faulty," Jiang Fengmian objected, gentle as always.
"But I'm petty and jealous," Yu Ziyuan said, picking out what he didn't say.
"And I love you the way you are," Jiang Fengmian countered smoothly.
Both Wei Ying and Yu Ziyuan blushed horrendously at that.
Shameless. Too shameless, Jiang-shushu!
Clearly, something had changed between the two of them. Had they managed to talk it over during their confinement under Zhuanlun Wang's custody? It certainly looked like they managed to clear the air between them.
"Regardless," Yu Ziyuan said, waving a hand as if to shoo away her husband's embarrassing words. "Don't blame yourself for the actions of others. If you keep beating yourself up because of other people, then you will never get anything done."
"But A-Cheng lost his core and Shijie died because of me," he said, shame colouring his face. "If I didn't lose control-"
"It was A-Li's choice to go after you," Yu Ziyuan snapped. "Just like it was my choice to send the both of you out of Lotus Pier that night."
Wei Wuxian just gaped at her, speechless as the words registered in his mind.
"If you don't believe me, you can ask her," Yu Ziyuan said, lips thinning in annoyance. "Also, Zhuanlun Wang already showed us what happened with A-Cheng. If he didn't distract the Wens from you, you would have been the one to lose your core. Your trajectory would have been the same."
"What?" Wei Ying said, eyes wide. He didn't know that!
"A-Xian," Jiang Fengmian interrupted Wei Ying's spiraling thoughts gently. "A-Cheng lost his golden core because he was captured while leading the Wens away from you. But you gave your core to him for the same reason that he did it."
The second sentence didn't seem to penetrate his mind as the thought circled his mind over and over again.
Jiang Cheng got caught because of me. Jiang Cheng lost his core because of me.
"But why? Why would he do that!?" Wei Ying asked in clear devastation.
"Because he did it out of love for you, you idiot!" Yu Ziyuan answered. "His brother was about to be captured, of course he was going to do what he can. I didn't raise a coward or a traitor."
"But I- he- he shouldn't have!" Wei Ying said. "He's the Jiang heir. YunmengJiang depended on him! I'm just-"
"Don't you dare continue that sentence," Yu Ziyuan interrupted. "Did you not hear what I said? He did it out of love for you. The same reason you endured the pain of giving your core away to him."
Wei Ying sobbed, throwing his hands on his face as he collapsed.
"A-Xian," Jiang-shushu said gently, kneeling beside him and wrapping his arms around him. "Anyone of us would have done the same for you."
"That's right," Yu Ziyuan said, turning away so none of them could see her blinking away her own tears. "And don't say you did it because you owe us!"
"But I do owe you, for taking me in," Wei Ying whispered tearily.
"Oh A-Xian," Jiang Fengmian said. "You owe us nothing for taking you in after your parents passed away."
"Because it is the right thing to do," Yu Ziyuan said. Then she amended. "Even if I did a terrible job of it."
"You didn't," Jiang Fengmian said, then paused. "Maybe a little."
"Jiang Fengmian!"
Wei Ying laughed wetly, the nostalgia sweeping over him. He will never hear this again. Their voices, their bickering, their scolding and their assurances. For all their faults, they were his parental figures that he grew up with.
Wei Ying slowly stood up and blinked away the tears, or at least he tried. When he failed, he wiped away the tears with his sleeves, making Yu Ziyuan tsk at him.
"You're not a child anymore," she berated him, pulling out her handkerchief to roughly scrub his face. "Carry a handkerchief and don't cry so much. People won't take you seriously if they see you like this."
"Jiang Cheng ugly cries too," Wei Ying said defensively with a pout.
"Both of you are the same," she snapped, lighter than she would have than when she was alive. "I hope that boy carries his handkerchief, at least."
"He does," he replied automatically, stemmed from his perpetual desire to shield Jiang Cheng from any punishment.
"San-niang," said Jiang Fengmian gently, the way he always does. Except now, his tone reflected more affection that he had ever dared to show.
"Right," Yu Ziyuan said. "Zhuanlun Wang explained that we have to move on soon."
Wei Ying nodded solemnly. "Everything has been cleared, paperwork wise."
"Good. Then we won't have to wait so long. You will be sending us to Naihe Bridge(1)?" Yu Ziyuan asked, sliding her handkerchief into his hand.
Wei Ying tightened his fist around the soft cloth and nodded again, gesturing to the pier in his dark world. More length started materialising at the end of the pier, the wooden boards connecting to a stone path, then to the stone bridge that led to a glowing light. Beside the mouth of the bridge, an old woman stood on the stone path with her pot of soup.
"That's the end of the road," Jiang Fengmian commented lightly, accepting that this would be the last time he would see his adopted child and the woman he loved.
"You'll continue to keep an eye on your brother, won't you?" Yu Ziyuan said to Wei Ying. She had never called him that before. Never referred to him and Jiang Cheng as brothers.
"I will," he promises. "Even if he never forgives me."
"He will," Yu Ziyuan said with confidence. "He always does even when you do the stupidest things."
Wei Ying laughed sheepishly at that. Because it was true, but him losing control was probably on another level of stupid.
"There's nothing to forgive, A-Xian," Jiang Fengmian smiled gently. "You did your best. Did what you could."
"Yes, and if it wasn't because of that Jin Guangshan, none of you would have ended like this," Yu Ziyuan said viciously. Then she turned to Wei Ying, "Make sure that asshole suffers for his sins."
"And that Jin Guangyao too," Jiang Fengmian said, scowling quite unhappily, which was very uncharacteristic of him.
It made Wei Ying wonder what he had missed. He knew that Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan were given the privilege of watching what happened between their children in Zhuanlun Wang's looking mirror as a favour to Wei Ying, but he didn't know what they had witnessed.
He made a mental note to look through the Jin Sect's wrongdoings after he looked through his Shijie and Jin Zixuan's files later.
"I promise I'll take a look at it before I send Shijie and Jin Zixuan off," he said. "Then I'll see what I can arrange."
Jiang Fengmian nodded, putting a hand on Wei Ying's shoulder.
"We're proud of you, A-Xian," he said, "You and A-Cheng. You've both grown up so splendidly despite our terrible parenting."
Not knowing what to say, Wei Ying sniffled and nodded.
"And you make sure you take care of yourself," Yu Ziyuan said with a little snark that was more characteristic of her than gentleness. "You look like a stick. Make sure you eat double helpings or people might think we starved you when we were still alive."
"Yes, Yu-furen," he said, somewhat fondly.
Then, he solemnly walked them towards Naihe Bridge.
When they arrived at the foot of the bridge, they each received a bowl of soup from Meng Po(2). Without saying a word, they crossed their arms like they were drinking their wedding wine and tipped the contents of their bowls into their mouth.
"I'll see you on the other side, San-niang," Jiang Fengmian promised.
Yu Ziyuan nodded, even though she knew it might not be the case.
Together, hand-in-hand, the two crossed the Bridge of Forgetfulness, into their next life.
***
"What about Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan?" Wen Qing asked him after he had sent his foster parents off to their new lives. "Their files are still on the table, waiting to be processed."
He looked at her, looking wrung out from the emotional rollercoaster he had just gone through.
"I suppose it depends on whether they want to move on or do paperwork with you...?" he said. "You need extra hands, don't you?"
Wen Qing gave him an annoyed look.
"What I need is for you to pull your weight!" she said vehemently, pulling on his ear as she dragged him towards his office pavilion.
He yelped and tried to wriggle away but to no avail.
"Qing-jie, merccyyyyyy..."