Vivienne
"You're spiraling."
"I am not spiraling."
"You're absolutely spiraling."
I pull my fur blanket higher over my face and groan dramatically.
Ava throws a marshmallow at me.
It bounces off my forehead.
I glare. She shrugs. "You're welcome."
We're on the floor of my dorm room. Fairy lights, facemasks, two open pizza boxes, and enough skincare to sponsor Sephora. It's sleepover chaos, exactly how I like it. Except…
My brain is still stuck on this afternoon.
On him.
On the way Damien leaned into that guy at the café like he was about to snap his jaw off for breathing in my direction.
On the way he said "She always looks like that."
Like I was the most beautiful thing in the room.
Like it was obvious.
Like I was his.
I groan again. "Do you think he meant it?"
Ava doesn't even ask what I'm talking about. Best friends don't need context.
"You know he meant it."
"But did he mean mean it? Or like, friendly mean it? Like oh-ha-ha-she's-my-friend-I-have-to-defend-her mean it?"
Ava deadpans, "Did he look like he was being friendly?"
I replay it in my mind. Again.
Damien's jaw clenched. His tone flat. His arm curled tighter around me like I might float away.
Not friendly.
Territorial.
I throw my arms over my face. "Oh God."
Ava laughs. "You're in love."
"I've been in love! Since we were twelve! This is not new information!"
"Well, now he's catching up."
I peek at her. "You think?"
She shrugs. "He looked like he was about to kill someone for talking to you. I'm just saying…"
I sit up, suddenly wide-eyed. "What if he gets a girlfriend before he figures it out?"
Ava rolls her eyes. "Then I'll personally push her into the fountain."
I throw a pillow at her. She dodges it expertly.
"Viv," she says more gently, "you're not just his childhood best friend. You're the one. Anyone with eyes can see it."
"But he doesn't have eyes."
"He does. They're just emotionally constipated."
I laugh. Then I melt backward into my pillows, heart beating faster than it should.
He called me beautiful.
He told a random guy off for even trying to flirt with me.
He let me cling to him through an entire lecture and didn't even blink.
I pull my phone off the charger and stare at our messages.
There aren't many. We don't need them. We're always together.
But tonight…
> Me: Thanks for defending me today.
Damien: That guy was an idiot.
Me: Still. You didn't have to.
Damien: I wanted to.
I scream into a pillow.
Then text Ava from across the room:
> Me: I think I'm dying.
She replies instantly:
> Ava: You're not. But your delusions are thriving.
I grin, cheeks burning.
And maybe, just maybe, my hope is too.