Junseo woke up to the smell of fresh bread and bad decisions.
Lira stood by the window, sunlight casting a weirdly holy glow on her silver hair and synthetic curves. She looked like a romance visual novel protagonist, except she'd probably tase you if you tried anything.
"Morning, Master," she said.
"Nope," he croaked from the bed. "Not calling me that."
"Understood. Morning, Biological Entity #001."
He sat up. "That's somehow worse."
[Daily Quest Available – "Check on Your Crops!"]
[Bonus Objective: Don't flirt with your vegetables.]
[Reward: +5 EXP, +1 Emotional Stability]
"Why does this system always sound like it's mocking me?"
"It is based on your internal monologue," Lira replied.
"That explains way too much."
Outside, the tomatoes were thriving.
"Damn," Junseo muttered. "They look better than 90% of my dating history."
He checked the soil. Moist, healthy, and vaguely enthusiastic.
"Soil Empathy" whispered: We are doing our best, plant daddy.
He stood up too fast. "Nope. That skill is getting turned off."
[Denied – Emotional Connection has reached level 2. Your crops now recognize you as their caregiver.]
Lira approached with a clipboard. "Your farm rating has increased. You now qualify for Tier 1 Resource Requests."
"Resource what?"
"Villagers may now come to you for help. Some requests are simple. Some… are not."
"Define not."
"Yesterday, one asked for help 'finding their inner harvest.'"
Junseo blinked. "Was that a euphemism?"
"They were naked. So, yes."
Cue Knock at the Door.
Junseo opened it, already bracing for something stupid.
Instead, he saw her.
Tall. Freckled. Auburn hair tied in a messy ponytail. Farmer overalls that were aggressively unbuttoned at the top, like fanservice had unionized.
She held a pitchfork and a serious look.
"You Eren?" she asked. "Name's Ceres. I need help."
He blinked.
Paused.
Mentally slapped himself.
"Uh, yeah. Sure. What's the problem?"
"My sheep are gone," she said. "Ran off during a storm. Think they wandered into the Whispering Woods."
"Whispering Woods," he repeated. "Cool. Totally not cursed. Nothing bad ever happens in whispering places."
[New Quest: "Baa Baa Lost Sheep"]
[Objective: Retrieve 3 woolen escapees. Avoid monsters. Possibly fight forest perverts.]
[Reward: Wool, Animal Bonding EXP, Ceres Affection +?]
Junseo sighed. "Yeah, alright. Let's go chase livestock into monster-infested shrubbery."
Ceres smirked. "You always this dramatic?"
"Only when my life's a joke."
Into the Woods.
The trees thickened. The light dimmed. Somewhere in the distance, an owl moaned sensually.
"I hate this place," Junseo muttered, stepping over twisted roots.
Ceres moved like someone who'd grown up in the wild. Graceful, confident, and immune to awkward silences.
"You don't talk much," she said after a while.
"I'm trying to focus on not dying."
"Fair. Most guys try to impress me."
"I don't even try to impress myself."
She chuckled. "I like that."
Great. Another one.
They found the first sheep near a pond, calmly drinking while being watched by a frog the size of a German Shepherd.
"Is that normal?" he asked.
"Nope."
"I hate that I'm getting used to this."
Junseo picked up a rock and chucked it.
The frog burped.
Then lunged.
[Combat Initiated – "Swamp Toad Lv.4"]
[Hint: Your current skills are mostly useless.]
"Thanks, system!" Junseo snapped. "What now?"
Lira's voice echoed in his head: Combine. Think. Instinct.
He focused.
Skills Available:
Livestock Whisperer
Soil Empathy
Beast Wrangling
Rural Rhythm
He activated all three.
The sheep bleated.
The dirt shifted.
The frog slipped, again, on a puddle of swamp slime that hadn't been there five seconds ago.
Critical trip!
Junseo leapt forward, grabbed a vine, and whipped it around the frog's legs.
[Frog defeated! +7 EXP.]
[New Skill Fusion: "Natural Flow" – Minor terrain manipulation unlocked.]
"You just beat up a toad with mud and sheep energy," Ceres said. "That's kinda hot."
"I'm crying inside."
Later, Back at the Farm.
They returned with three sheep, two bruises, and one mysterious mushroom that Junseo refused to touch.
"Thanks," Ceres said, brushing her bangs back. "You're different, y'know."
"Yeah," he said. "I have trauma and a tomato addiction."
She laughed. "You ever think of settling down?"
"I've been here three days and I already talk to dirt."
"Keep doing quests like that, and people are gonna start liking you too much."
She winked, then left.
[Affection Update – Ceres: 14%]
[Warning: You are approaching multiple potential romance routes. Please commit to your emotional damage responsibly.]
"Shut up," he whispered.
That Night.
Lira hovered at the edge of his bed. "You unlocked a new skill today."
"Yeah."
"Would you like to run a simulation of your progress so far?"
He shrugged. "Sure."
The room dimmed. A 3D projection of his skills appeared, like a constellation made of bad choices and accidental brilliance.
SKILL TREE SNAPSHOT
Soil Empathy
Rural Rhythm
Beast Wrangling
Livestock Whisperer
Natural Flow (New!)
"Each skill is part of a greater system," Lira explained. "You are evolving them unusually fast. Likely due to... emotional instability."
"Oh, fantastic."
"You are 14% more likely to accidentally become a village hero."
He groaned. "I just wanted to plant potatoes. Not start a harem or talk to horny dirt."
"Destiny chooses the unwilling," she said solemnly.
"…Did you just quote anime at me?"
"No. That was you last night in your sleep."
He lay back in bed, eyes wide open.
"…I need better dreams."