Also known as: The First Dumpling Defense Formation
The world was coming for him.
Sect banners flapped across mountain ranges. Prophets scribbled doomsday predictions. Even the Cloud Postal Service accidentally rerouted all messages labeled "Urgent: Destroy Wei Long."
Meanwhile, on Mount Chaos…
Wei Long was tying a ribbon around a radish.
Lin Qian shouted from the kitchen. "Master, that is not a defensive formation!"
Wei Long turned. "It's not just a radish. It's the decoy Enlightened Radish. The last one exploded with style — I want this one to explode with meaning."
Duan Fei, carrying sacks of flour, mumbled, "We really should be sharpening swords."
After a short council meeting (which mostly consisted of tea and deep sighs), the strategy was clear:
Step 1: Slow them down.Step 2: Confuse them.Step 3: Feed them.Step 4: Hope they leave.
Lin Qian stared at the chalkboard. "Is this a battle plan or a restaurant opening checklist?"
Wei Long smiled. "Yes."
That night, he stood at the peak of Mount Chaos, watching the flickering torches below.
Seven sects. Hundreds of cultivators. Dozens of self-proclaimed "Destiny Correctors."
Wei Long inhaled deeply.
"…Let's see if fate can handle indigestion."
At dawn, they came.
The Sect of Pure Reason led the charge — clad in clean robes, wielding blades inscribed with logic runes. Their leader, Elder Su Jing, pointed at Wei Long from across the cliff.
"You stand accused of warping destiny with absurd coincidence! What say you?!"
Wei Long stepped forward.
"I say… welcome to the Grand Opening."
A gong rang.
The dumpling steam cannon fired.
Yes, that's right.
A steam-powered dumpling cannon.
Fueled by spiritual broth and ancient bamboo, it launched searing-hot dumplings across the battlefield — not to injure… but to disarm and disorient.
The cultivators screamed as dumplings exploded into sticky spiritual soup.
Elder Su Jing roared, "What technique is this?!"
Wei Long answered with a grin:
"Chaos Cuisine: Ninth Flavor — Soup of Sudden Strategy!"
Then the formation triggered.
The goats charged.
Duan Fei threw radish bombs.
Lin Qian led a dozen fake disciples, all actors from the local theater, into a synchronized battle dance that made no tactical sense… but looked incredible from the air.
Confused, the sects stalled.
Some turned on each other.
A few surrendered after tasting the dumplings.
By sunset, the first wave had withdrawn.
Mount Chaos stood… victorious.
Wei Long collapsed on a bench, utterly exhausted.
"I didn't trip once today…"
Lin Qian handed him a bun.
"Then maybe… you're starting to walk your own path."
Wei Long looked up at the stars.
Somewhere above, the Watcher narrowed his eyes.
"He's… learning."
Another figure stepped from the shadows of heaven.
A woman.
Eyes like still water. Aura like unraveling silk.
"The Spiral is stabilizing," she whispered."It's time for the Third to awaken."
To be continued…