Sebastian Ashford's POV
It was a fucking good day for once.
The sun was out. Ardenleigh's godforsaken skies weren't grey for once. I had just aced a practical. Everything should've been perfect.
But then I saw her.
Rain Wang.
Walking alone in the garden behind the anatomy building, where the roses were always too red and the benches always too cold. She had that same ratty hoodie on again, sleeves bunched at the wrists, head down. Her messy bun had half collapsed, black strands sliding out with the breeze.
I told myself I wasn't looking for her.
Liar.
She didn't see me. Of course not. Why would she?
But then—he showed up.
Tall, cocky bastard. Leo. Final year. I knew the type—too charming, too polished, always smiling like he owned the world and every girl in it.
He walked straight up to her. Said something I couldn't hear from this far.
And then it happened.
Rain smiled.
Not one of those scared, polite grimaces she gave when professors spoke to her.
No. It was real.
A real fucking smile.
Bright. Soft. She tucked her chin down like she was trying to hide it, but it was too late. It had already happened. That smile had already ripped something inside me wide open.
My lungs forgot how to work.
I stood frozen on the other side of the garden like an idiot, watching the way her shoulders lifted just slightly—as if something heavy had eased off them for once.
She was happy.
Because of him.
Not me. Never me.
She was smiling, and it wasn't because of me.
God. I hadn't seen her smile like that in months. Not since first year, not since before—before I ruined everything. Before my words got sharp and my hands got cold and I stopped pretending I could stay away.
Before I became the reason she curled in on herself in lecture halls.
And now some asshole with a too-white grin and perfect timing was undoing it all with one sentence.
I didn't realize how tight my fists were until my knuckles cracked.
Did she forget? Just like that?
What about the way her voice trembled when she answered roll call?
What about the way she didn't eat for days?
What about the time I saw her flinch when someone laughed too loud behind her?
Did none of it matter now that he was there?
She said something. He laughed. He touched her elbow like it was the most natural thing in the world and she didn't even pull away.
The wind caught her hair, and for a second, it looked like how it used to be—long, black silk glinting in the sun.
And I hated it.
No.
I hated him.
And maybe I hated myself more, because that smile—that fucking smile—wasn't mine to see.
Not anymore.
Not ever again.