"I haven't been in contact with the opposite sex for so long. I went out to buy gold last night, and the salesgirl accidentally touched my hand. It threw me completely off, and I ran back in a panic, sigh."
"Is that why you committed robbery and harassment?"
...
"Here's the thing: when I was staying at the hotel, a small note slipped under the door. It said 'Duck, 100 per session, strong and fit, guaranteed to last an hour, or you get a refund of 400.'
I thought it was a good deal, so I called for him. But that weakling finished in five minutes, tossed 400 bucks at me, and that's when you guys came in.
So you really can't judge me based on the seller! I'm the buyer here, cut me some slack, detain me for a few days just for appearances, alright?"
...
"Listen to me explain, I'm in the business of buying second-hand phones. How was I supposed to know the customer would send me a hotel location? But there was money to be made, so of course I went. Buying phones inevitably involves haggling. We both worked up a sweat, so naturally, we had to shower, and as for the transaction records on the phone you mentioned, that's just the money for the phones."
...
"Guardians of Liberation West" really is a documentary, Lin Li was greatly amazed listening to the conversations coming from the various interrogation rooms.
This place is truly full of talent; everyone speaks eloquently. It really is a kindergarten of enlightened dragons.
They caught quite a lot of people at once tonight, coupled with the other cases that already needed handling, and for the moment, the interrogation rooms were running out.
However, perhaps because he was the only minor, even though the car he was in wasn't the first to arrive, he managed to cut the line and was interrogated early.
His chair was the classic stainless steel interrogation stool. Yangliang was a good comrade; Lin Li had barely mentioned "uncle" before cuffs were added to his feet.
Lin Li felt a bond forming between them—as if patting Uncle Yang's back would instantly communicate the desired position.
"Is it really necessary to cuff this kid's hands and feet?" The requirement is for at least two Demon Suppression Envoys to be present during interrogation. So, there was another one here who seemed to rank slightly above Yangliang. He looked questioningly at Yangliang when he saw Lin Li's handcuffs.
"This little bastard begged me to cuff him," Yangliang grunted heavily, expressing his irritation.
Another Demon Suppression Envoy: "?"
"This brat's brain is likely messed up, a minor plus a mental case, damn it; he's full of debuffs. I don't even want to interrogate him. Just call his family to pick him up." Yangliang spoke with a face full of headache.
"It's not that simple. Actually, I'm also a cross-genderist. Male physically, female mentally. But since I have a transvestism fetish, I still wear men's clothes, and I'm homosexual, so I like females. Plus, I'm a mix of Jewish and Black, but due to a rare case of albinism and gene mutation, I look local..."
At that moment, Lin Li raised his hands and began chanting.
"Foreign buffs don't work here, shut up." Yangliang had become quite skilled in telling Lin Li to shut it, and said it smoothly before looking at the nearby Demon Suppression Envoy, "See? I told you he's nuts, right?"
"You're right. Let's finish the proceedings quickly and get his family to take him away," the Demon Suppression Envoy nodded.
"I know, let's start the interrogation! We ask, you answer." Yangliang nodded and then turned to Lin Li, slamming the table hard.
"Is it because two people in love can't call each other's names that they have to endure interrogation?" Lin Li said with a laugh as he threw out his final line: "Just missing a chance to experience it."
Yangliang: "..."
Interrogations are such a hassle.
He wanted to use a major memory restoration spell.
It was well known that this nation had long been called the Land of Etiquette.
Which meant one should wield fists like a bam! Bam! Bam!
"Alright, you two uncles, we've experienced pretty much everything that needed experiencing. It's time to reveal my identity. I'm done pretending, I'm laying my cards on the table now," Lin Li paused slightly, a mysterious smile on his face: "I'm not an idiot, I'm one of your own, I'm undercover."
Another Demon Suppression Envoy: "Definitely a lunatic."
Yangliang: "I told you."
Lin Li: "I'm not!"
Another Demon Suppression Envoy: "It's unlikely we'll gather any information from him. Did he have any ID when he was caught?"
Yangliang: "No ID seen, but he had a phone. Let's go check the phone."
Lin Li: "Acknowledge me, will ya?"
Another Demon Suppression Envoy: "Would've been nice to mention that earlier. I thought it was just this guy."
Yangliang: "Then let's go."
Another Demon Suppression Envoy: "Yeah."
Lin Li: "No, uncle, damn it, I'm not being abstract about it, really just acknowledge me!"
"..."
The two continued their rather mundane conversation, never glancing at Lin Li, and were getting ready to leave.
Bit disrespectful, isn't it?
Seeing both Demon Suppression Envoys about to go, Lin Li quickly explained: "No, you two uncles, I'm really undercover! You could round off and say this operation was led by me! You acted tonight because you got a tip-off call, didn't you?
That tip was from me! My name is Lin Li, and my phone number ends in 9749. You can definitely match it up!"
Lin Li's statement instantly drew the attention of the two Demon Suppression Envoys, and the three of them were speechless for a moment before Yangliang widened his eyes and exclaimed:
"You're the mentally... not so normal informant the head office mentioned?"
Lin Li: "..."
Dimwitted, they meant to say dimwitted, right?
Your head office sure talks dirty.
"It's not me, I'm not dimwitted, quite normal actually," Lin Li shook his head and then gently led them on:
"Surely your head office also mentioned another normal, great, caring, and admirable informant, right? That's me."
Once again, the three of them were speechless.
"It's definitely this guy."
"If it's this strange kid reporting, I can understand. It's the kind of thing he would do." Yangliang suddenly laughed, relieved, and nodded to his colleague, "No wonder I didn't see anyone approaching me at the scene; turns out it was this kid."
"Then leave him with you for now; I'll go help others. We're shorthanded here tonight." The other Demon Suppression Envoy's face showed amused resignation as he stood up.
"Okay."
"Even though you're the informant, according to rules, we can't just let you go. We still need you to cooperate with me and make a statement. Let's go, follow me to the office." Yangliang stepped forward to unlock Lin Li's handcuffs and shackle, lifting his head with intuition:
"We can't, the interrogation room is tight on schedule tonight, lots of people waiting in line to use it, we just can't make a statement here like this."
Lin Li widened his eyes, swallowing the 'uncle' he was about to say.
He actually got predicted.
He didn't need to pat Uncle Yang's back; he already knew what position he wanted?
Nevertheless, Lin Li quickly nodded. While he wanted to experience things, there was no need to cause real trouble for others, and he had at least sat in the interrogation chair. Just cherishing the moments, not seeking eternity.
This thing isn't meant to last long, either.
Regaining his freedom, Lin Li stretched, then followed Yangliang to the office to retrieve his phone.
Lin Li unlocked his phone and displayed his call logs, confirming his identity as the informant.
"His grandma, I don't even know where to start with this statement. I've been a cop for so long, and you're the first of your kind I've met." Yangliang sat down, at a loss between laughter and tears, his head cradled in his arms, body leaning back, then he spoke gently:
"Xiaolin, anything you'd like to say first?"
There was a noticeable change in the Demon Suppression Envoy's attitude toward him.
From arrogance to humility, it's quite amusing upon reflection.
This idiom might not be aptly used, but never mind, it's not important.
In truth, if Lin Li weren't certain that his act of reporting was virtuous, he wouldn't have been this bold at the Demon Suppression Bureau.
After all, he did have some 'merit'.
Lin Li nodded, then delivered his last line that hadn't found a chance to be spoken:
"Before my lawyer arrives, I won't say a word."
Yangliang: "?"