UK:GSW Chapter 319 Kakashi: Lord Jiraiya's Artistic Masterpiece Must Be Savored
"Damn it! Why do I keep losing? Who on earth is that guy on the other side? And why is his mouth so foul? Also, with technique that good, he doesn't look low-level at all—he's obviously smurfing down here just to noob-stomp, right?"
Kakashi clenched his teeth, overheating with frustration; he was not okay. Even with his usually laid-back personality, his mental guard was completely broken now.
He really had been stomped, and he kept getting taunted—by the same player every time, one going by the handle "Wanhao."
The first time he ran into this guy, he lost. He also got taunted. He was angry then, but with his temperament he only got mad for a moment and didn't dwell on it.
After that, Kakashi kept queueing for matchmaking. For some reason, that "Wanhao" guy matched into him every time—whether he picked 1v1 or other multiplayer modes, he'd run into this guy.
What's more, that guy kept tunnel-visioning him for a beatdown. Even if other players blasted his rear and backdoored his base, he'd make sure to kill Kakashi no matter what, as if he had a personal grudge. Every time he blew him up, he'd flip the taunt switch so Kakashi lost both the person and the battle—utterly stifling.
On this day, Kakashi finally learned there really are such detestable trash-talkers in the world; his fists itched like crazy.
Meanwhile—unknown to Kakashi—inside the "Genjutsu Space," the alternate-world Nine-Tails let out a satisfied breath. He felt wonderfully refreshed, as if every strand of his chakra fur had been combed through.
Seeing the alternate-world Nine-Tails like this, Tamamo-no-Mae glanced over. "Why are you targeting the Kakashi Hatake from your world?"
The alternate-world Nine-Tails clicked his tongue twice. "No reason. I've long found that kid annoying—flaunting a naturally evil Uchiha Sharingan all day. Truly detestable to your lord here."
Tamamo-no-Mae: "So you're just taking it out on him because you can't use the Sharingan? You really are unbelievably bored."
The alternate-world Nine-Tails snorted twice. "None of your business. I like it. Can you do anything about it?"
Tamamo-no-Mae narrowed her eyes. "Heh. Looks like the recent good days have made you lose sight of yourself. Well then, want to spar with me for a bit?"
The alternate-world Nine-Tails reflexively shrank his neck, then said the most cowardly words in the most arrogant tone: "Hmph, your lord here refuses!"
Running away may be shameful, but it works.
By now the alternate-world Nine-Tails understood this deeply. In this period, the proud Nine-Tails had thought about resisting Tamamo-no-Mae's "tyranny." Unfortunately, every attempt at resistance was mercilessly suppressed, and every time he got beaten badly. It was the classic case: where there is oppression, there is resistance; where there is resistance, there is iron-blooded suppression.
The alternate-world Nine-Tails had learned his lesson. Knowing full well the gap between himself and Tamamo-no-Mae, he resolved never to fight her again. If he felt annoyed, he'd just go online and noob-stomp people.
After a stretch of high-intensity gaming, the alternate-world Nine-Tails had become a small-time expert in the genjutsu-gaming circle; the alt "Wanhao" had quite a name.
Mm, although that reputation was widely mocked as "newbie-crushing specialist" and "smurfing specialist," a jerk who specialized in bullying fresh players.
Most crucially, in the mental network world, the alternate-world Nine-Tails could use some backend privileges to select opponents for matchmaking. For example, this time he used those privileges to bully the parallel-world Kakashi.
As it happened, Kakashi was unlucky. When he first got on to play, he matched right into the alternate-world Nine-Tails, and when the latter saw the ID "Skaya," he took an interest.
Because Kakashi had once used the "Skaya" alt to play tricks on his three Team 7 students, and the Nine-Tails had watched a good show from inside Naruto's body, so the impression was deep.
Kakashi's three students never realized that "Skaya's" true identity was Kakashi Hatake, but to the Nine-Tails, Kakashi's "disguise" was like wearing a full-face mascot suit and claiming to be someone else—downright comical.
So, seeing that name again, the alternate-world Nine-Tails got curious and used backend privileges to check who this "Skaya" was.
He saw Kakashi Hatake. After a slight start, he realized this Kakashi was from the same world as him. Clearly something had happened again, so the parallel-world Kakashi had come over too.
The alternate-world Nine-Tails wasn't interested in what exactly had happened. What did interest him was taking the opportunity to stomp Kakashi and break his mentality. After all, knowing the other came from the same place, seeing him suffer would bring him joy in body and soul.
Thus, Kakashi was unlucky. His first genjutsu-gaming experience was a hell-level disaster. He felt none of the fun; his blood pressure, however, skyrocketed.
In the end, Kakashi exited the genjutsu game, deciding to hit the restroom, wash his face, and cool down.
When he put his mask back on and came out of the bathroom, his mood had already stabilized.
For a ninja like him, rapid emotional adjustment is a basic skill, and after all he'd been through, he had woven that skill into every part of himself.
Kakashi didn't jump back into a game right away. He went over to the lounge area and looked around, finding quite a few beverages there. The top-recommended one was a drink called "Wood Release Cola." The packaging even included a blurb saying it was a secret formula developed by Hashirama Senju, and that it contained the secrets of Wood Release.
After reading the blurb on the cola bottle, Kakashi went silent for a moment, then let out a perplexed, "Huh?"
A beverage developed by the First Lord? The First Lord had this skill too? And it even contained the secrets of Wood Release? Are we sure this isn't serious nonsense?
As the direct superior and senior of the only publicly known user of Wood Release in Konoha at present, Kakashi knew how Wood Release came about, and he had never heard of any soda that could be tied to Wood Release.
If you had to tie it together, maybe it was only that the First Hokage might have drunk a carbonated beverage called cola.
But this was a Konoha product—by the Senju clan, no less—with the Senju emblem on it. Something presented so solemnly shouldn't be serious nonsense.
"Could it be something the First Lord developed after being revived as a heroic spirit?"
Kakashi considered the possibility. Following that line of thought, he fired up his prodigious intellect and guessed that the raw materials for the cola might be grown with Wood Release. If so, saying the cola had to do with Wood Release would be perfectly natural.
Of course, all that just flashed through Kakashi's mind—it didn't even take five seconds. For an elite jonin with a brilliant mind, it was just a few quick turns of thought.
His hands hadn't stopped, either. He popped the cap and took a big swig.
In an instant, flavor burst in his mouth. An unprecedented taste hit him, making Kakashi hiss through his teeth; even his dead-fish eye lit up, a highlight gleaming there.
Delicious!
That was Kakashi's direct impression, and he couldn't help but start chugging.
When he came back to himself, the bottle was already empty. He let out a satisfied burp; a sense of well-being spread through his whole body, and a happy mood arose of its own accord. He exhaled in comfort.
Then Kakashi was astonished to find that after drinking the cola, his energy had been noticeably replenished. He even felt that the Sharingan, which constantly drained his chakra, had become much more comfortable—at the very least, the sensation of being siphoned had clearly lessened.
This sensation was unprecedented—something he had never experienced before—so the surprise on Kakashi's face could no longer be concealed.
"How is this possible? This Wood Release Cola actually has this kind of effect? Here in Konoha, they actually use something so precious as an ordinary beverage to entertain guests?"
Kakashi really was shocked. He couldn't imagine a cola having such effects, and even less could he imagine something of this caliber being openly set out for guests to enjoy.
It overturned his worldview. It even felt absurd. In their world, a beverage with such effects could be treated as strategic materiel for a great village.
Thinking of this, Kakashi felt his worldview flipping and, at the same time, felt it too absurd. He called in the resident manager to ask about it.
After hearing Kakashi's question, the resident manager smiled. "Please don't be surprised, Mr. Skaya. The output of this Wood Release Cola is very large. It has already become an important commodity Konoha sells externally to raise funds."
"Additionally, Wood Release Cola is divided into multiple tiers. What you can buy outside is only the low tier, not the high-quality kind you just drank."
"In truth, not many people get to drink this high-quality cola. You could because of Lord Minato's special instructions. Before your arrival, the beverages placed here were prepared specifically for you."
"So, there's no need for concern. All you need to do is enjoy yourself here and fully enjoy the experience."
After hearing this, Kakashi understood—it was a perk from his teacher. He nodded to the resident manager to express thanks.
When the resident manager left, Kakashi turned his gaze back to the food and drink, then sat at the counter and sampled them slowly.
Just as the resident manager had said, these were things Minato Namikaze had ordered prepared for Kakashi—essentially various junk foods produced by the "system."
As Uchiha Kai kept rolling the gacha pools, he'd gotten so much of this stuff that even his system storage could no longer hold it all—but he couldn't just hand it out randomly. So when there was real need and trustworthy personnel on their side who could use it up, Uchiha Kai was very generous about taking it out, his attitude being: use it freely, no need to stand on ceremony.
And so Kakashi was tasting the sweetness now.
As those system-made beverages—and fries, shrimp chips, spicy sticks, and other junk foods—went down, Kakashi felt his chakra and energy recover rapidly. His vitality rebounded quickly. He actually reached a state he hadn't had since obtaining Obito Uchiha's Sharingan.
Especially after eating a system burger, heated up—while he felt a bit stuffed, the pressure from the Sharingan couldn't be felt anymore, and his spirit was better than ever, as if he'd returned to those teenage years when both eyes were original equipment.
What followed was a feeling that his whole body brimmed with energy, as if he had limitless strength to spare. He itched to find someone and have a big fight on the spot, just to vent that seemingly inexhaustible energy.
Of course, that was just the illusion brought on by suddenly becoming hyper-energized. Kakashi knew that perfectly well, but he did think he could vent a little excess energy.
Back home, he would secretly read Make-Out Paradise to cultivate his sentiments and reward himself. Here, obviously he couldn't do that. But he remembered what the project—no, resident—manager had mentioned earlier: those hidden entertainment items.
Kakashi swallowed. After a brief hesitation, he locked the private room door, flipped the sign outside to "Do Not Disturb," then went to the bathroom to clear out the miscellaneous stuff in his stomach before returning to his seat.
With a pilgrim's heart, he swallowed again. His hand trembled as it reached toward the little compartment with the hidden items, and he slowly, nervously opened it at last.
In that moment, it was as if dazzling rosy light burst forth inside, making Kakashi squint.
Of course, that was an illusion. Inside sat a single box, labeled with the words "The ninja world's great artist Lord Jiraiya's painstaking magnum opus."
This was Lord Jiraiya's masterpiece! Moreover, it was the parallel world's Lord Jiraiya's masterpiece—something the other world didn't have—and it was a genjutsu-game masterpiece!
His body began to tremble. His breathing quickened. His eyes reddened. His breath became heavy.
Every ounce of his emotional value rioted; his soul quivered; supreme emotions boiled.
Kakashi had never doubted Lord Jiraiya's art. Although his first genjutsu-game experience had been aggravating, he had to admit the realism had made it hard to distinguish illusion from reality. If such genjutsu games combined with Lord Jiraiya's art, what kind of sparks would fly—he didn't even dare imagine.
Or rather, he simply couldn't picture that ultimate, beautiful scene.
Still, Kakashi was convinced such a miracle would be the most sacred thing in the world, an irreplaceable beauty, a grace that would open the door to a new world, the finest reward for the devout.
He drew in a deep breath and closed his eyes. He felt he had to calm down first; otherwise, his pounding heart would overwhelm him, and he might collapse from a surge of hot blood.
He couldn't help it—the stimulation was too strong. Plus, after eating so many system-made foods, he was in the most hot-blooded state he'd had since his teens. In this state, too much excitement could indeed cause trouble.
At last, when Kakashi managed with difficulty to press down his surging blood and qi, he opened the box and found three games inside, arranged in order of release.
After a brief thought, Kakashi decided to start with the latest work. He believed that for a non-series work, one should appraise the latest effort first—that was the respect due to the creator!
Thus Kakashi entered the game world titled Hypnosis Paradise—and thereby opened a door that, once opened, could never again be shut.
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