-
You know, I think I've fallen in love with sleep. Turning off everything and resting is a sensation that feels new to me. However, time doesn't wait for anyone—well, that's a bit of a lie—but hey, the purpose is to motivate myself.
I stand up and stretch my limbs in every direction possible, even jumping up, down, and sideways to get a conscious feel of my body and balance before moving.
As I walk out of the cell, treating it as if it were my hotel room, I leisurely pace my steps, using magic to ensure the echoes of my footsteps are heard by every being in this godforsaken prison.
My execution is set for tomorrow morning, so why not make today memorable by escaping through the front door like a boss who owns the place?
Now that I think about it, my memories of the Harry Potter story and my life as Harry Potter are two different things; the events in the story were just that—a story for kids.
Or was it really? Maybe it tells a story of a different Harry Potter? I don't know, and I don't care either.
In this life, though, unlike the story, the old me was a rebellious teenager who came from an abusive household, so he was more problematic than normal, which led to him often clashing head-to-head with Dumbledore.
Not to say that the old me was evil or anything—he was actually a kind-hearted person. He didn't wish to harm anyone; he just had problems with adults telling him what to do and with authority in general.
So, when Dumbledore got the chance to teach the old me a lesson, he seized it and shipped him off to Azkaban.
Joke's on him, though—the old me was killed by a Death Eater masquerading as a guard on the first day.
But now, the new me is going to flip the board and play a new game that'll bring the whole British Isles to its knees.
It'll be such a cliché plot of a beaten-up protagonist coming back from disgrace and beating up everyone…
I hear the sound of multiple footsteps approaching—those must be the guards—so let's greet them properly, huh?
Turning right at the end of the corridor, I am met with a barrage of different spells: Stunning Curses, Leg-Locking Charms, Petrification Charms, and even a Crucio Curse among them…
Still, I wanted to be cool like those MCs in stories—so I did the most badass thing these people would ever get to see. I waved my hand in a sweeping motion, and a force of magic swept all the incoming spells away to my left, making them hit the floor and the wall…
This, of course, garnered the intended effect in the form of a comical reaction from the guards—some looked at me in shock, others stood bewildered, and some froze in fear. Still, I could tell everyone was wondering what the hell just happened.
I'll take this opportunity to educate them—about the height of Mount Tai—I'm just kidding. But I should find some solution for the xianxia protagonist syndrome I seem to have… Anyway, that's for later. Now, I'll have to confiscate their wands first. With a flick of my hand, all the wands they had on them are forcefully summoned to me, bringing them out of their shock and back to reality.
"If anyone is wondering how I did that, I'll explain if asked nicely," I say, starting my speech before any of them gather the courage to say something foolish… But, of course, an oaf of a man speaks up anyway.
"Harry Potter!!! Give us our wands back and return to your cell, and we will forgive you…"
But of course, he didn't get to continue his speech. I shooed him away with a motion of my hand, causing him to suddenly yelp as he was hurled from where he stood and slammed against the wall, falling unconscious with a groan.
"Pardon me, gentlemen. He was starting to spout shit and make a fool of himself, so I treated him with my newly developed fool's educating method. Still, take this as an example and be more cooperative and civilized, okay?" I smiled at them, clapping my hands to continue my monologue.
"Now, as I was saying, if you have questions, I might answer them and educate you a little. That way, maybe you could be more useful in the future. Ah, who am I kidding? You people won't understand what I'm saying anyway, but let's give it a try, huh? What do you say? Come on!" I motioned for them encouragingly to start speaking. *I am such a gentleman.*
"Um, Harry Potter, sir… um, could you tell us how you did that?" one of the guards asks, who appeared to be the youngest among them, pointing at the unconscious oaf.
"Oh, you mean the magic? Like how I threw him all the way to the end of the corridor? Well, it's not that hard, really. It's a normal Knockback Jinx—but what I *really* want to brag about is my new and improved spell-deflecting technique.
You see, normal deflecting techniques are used by duelers to forcefully change the direction of a single spell at a time using their raw magic with the wand as a medium—you know that, right?
But what I did with all the spells you sent my way was nearly the same, but on a larger scale and without a wand or anything, thanks to my impressive magic control. I simply used raw magic to catch and throw the spells the other way… It sounds easy, I know, but it's really not," I patiently explain to them, only to be met with blank stares and bewildered faces…
Sigh. This is going to be boring, isn't it?
Now, some might ask why I am explaining this to them. The answer is obvious: to brag, but also to make the ones in the Ministry who will surely review their memories reconsider being enemies with me. After all, I just showed them that numbers don't mean shit to me…
"I can see the bewilderment on your faces, so let me give you some tips that might help you, okay? First tip: Stop thinking when doing magic, and just *do it*. You know the spells, you have the wand, so point and cast… But of course, none of you will follow my advice, will you? I really am trying to teach you something valuable here…"
"Anyway, gentlemen, it's clear none of you here understand the intricacies of magic, nor do you want to learn. So how about you escort me out, and I won't have to resort to uncivil means? Huh?" I smiled and said.
I really didn't want to kill them or hurt them—they're just doing their job.
One of the younger and more courageous guards raises his hand, making me stifle a laugh at his visible nervousness.
"Yes?" I respond, gesturing for him to ask his question.
"You're not going to kill us, are you?" he asks, fear evident in his eyes. He was still young, after all…
"No, no. Why would I need to kill you if you're cooperating?" I answer as I start walking toward them, making them shift slightly and back away.
"Are you not afraid the Ministry is going to hunt you down if you escape?" he asks again, this time with more composure in his voice.
"No, not at all. They won't have time for me; they'll have to focus their efforts on stopping Voldemort, which—if you ask me—is nothing but a foolish endeavor," I reply, making all of them stiffen upon hearing the name…
"But they said You-Know-Who is dead!" one of the older guards says with a slightly raised voice.
"Okay, they also said *I* killed him as a baby, and now I'm saying he's not dead," I clarify, making them look at me as if I'd said the Earth is flat…
"You're lying!!" another guard yells—I don't know what gave him the courage—only to receive a Silencing Spell from me as a reward.
"Believe what you want," I begin, "but do you really not want to know why he came after me in the first place? I'll gladly tell you if you're curious."
"I want to know!! Um… please?!" replies a slightly timid voice from a female guard staying in the back, now that we're actually walking out of this prison with them as my escorts.
"Alright, I'll explain just because you're polite enough. You see, that idiot Voldemort did some nasty dark rituals to make himself immortal. Truly the height of stupidity, if you ask me—still, he succeeded 'for the most part.' Then, instead of being smart and gradually amassing power and influence like Dumbledore did, he chose the reckless and direct path—though by that point, he was clearly already crazy and unhinged, so it's not really his fault.
So he ignited a war, which you're all aware of. But then something significant occurred: he learned of a prophecy. Now, as you all should know, prophecies are often self-fulfilling. He was aware of this fact too; however, after all the rituals he'd performed, his mind and reasoning ability were already f**ked.
He somehow became convinced he was powerful enough to circumvent fate by killing the toddler—which is me, by the way—and so, with the help of Peter Pettigrew, that idiot found his way to our home and attempted to kill me, fulfilling the first part of the prophecy: marking me as his equal—which ultimately led to his own demise.
Now that he's back to full power, though, the second part of the prophecy has activated, stating that only I can kill him," I explain slowly as we near the exit of the prison, making sure my voice reaches every single one of them…
"You may ask one more question before I go," I say, pointing at the silent old man who hadn't spoken a word until now.
"Are you going to fight You-Know-Who now that you're about to escape?" he asks.
"Hmm. No, I don't think I will—I won't be participating in this war until I get what I want. And believe me, I *will* get what I want," I reply with a menacing grin that I'm sure sent a chill down their spines, judging by their reactions…
"Now, gentlemen and lady, here are your wands," I say as I toss their wands to the ground. "Call whoever you wish. And if I may offer a piece of advice—flee the country, for none of you will be safe." And so, with a snap of my fingers, I vanish.
---
After Harry Potter disappeared in front of them with silent, smooth Apparition, a heavy silence lingered for just a few seconds before everyone scrambled to grab their wands and cast Patronuses and communication spells to spread the news of what had just transpired.
Not ten minutes later, the loud cracking sound of multiple Apparitions echoed through the air, heralding the arrival of the renowned Auror force—led by none other than the head of the DMLE, Amelia Bones, and Mad-Eye Moody.
---