Another day, another boring afternoon trapped in this crib. Dragon was gnawing on his thumb like some savage, drooling all over himself. I, on the other hand, was plotting. Because a good pirate always plans ahead — even if he's two months old.
And today… I had a goal.
Steal Garp's Marine cap.
Why?
Because screw the Marines, and also — I wanted to see if the old man would notice. He kept tossing it onto the chair every time he came home, and that thing was practically begging me to swipe it.
The plan was simple:
Wait for Garp to take his nap.
Crawl out of the crib.
Snatch the cap.
Victory.
Sure, my crawling skills were… wobbly. And yeah, last time I tried climbing down I faceplanted on the floor. But you know what? Pirates don't give up.
The sun was high, Garp was snoring like a bull, and Sengoku hadn't dropped by to annoy me. Perfect.
I nudged Dragon. "Psst. Oi. Cover me."
He just farted in response. Useless.
With no backup, I threw my tiny leg over the crib bar. My body wobbled, my arms trembled, but I made it down. Well… more like slid down and landed on my butt.
Did it hurt?
Absolutely.
Did I cry?
Hell no. I'm Monkey D. Iron. Future pirate king. Or pirate emperor. Or something cool like that.
I crawled toward the chair, my little hands smacking the wooden floor. The cap sat there, mocking me. A symbol of oppression, injustice, and extremely poor fashion choices.
Closer… closer…
My fingers brushed the brim. Victory was at hand.
"GWAHAHAHA!"
I froze.
The giant shadow of Garp loomed over me. He was wide awake, grinning like a lunatic, holding a steamed bun.
"Oi, what're ya doin', ya tiny menace?"
Busted.
Quick! Plan B! Act cute!
I turned around and gave him the biggest, most innocent baby grin I could manage. "Ah-buh!"
His grin widened.
"GWAHAHAHA! You got guts, kid!"
And then… he plopped the cap right onto my head.
"There ya go, ya little scoundrel. Looks better on you anyway."
Wait — what?
I blinked, staring up at him. Did I… just win?
I looked at Dragon, who was still drooling like a fool.
Mission accomplished.