Life back in Konoha and the clan compound was far more peaceful than life out in the field. Not that it was easy to get used to. Out there… we could never really rest, you always had to be ready.
Resting was difficult at the best of times, and impossible at the worst. Honestly, the only times I had been able to sleep well over the last few months were either in the safety of the Konoha main camp, or after getting fucking until I passed out.
I suspected that might have been one of the underlying reasons I had allowed Koji to go so far, because I wanted to just rest. And he could allow that…
Honestly, whenever I thought about Koji, I had mixed feelings. I liked him, I really did, but I would be a fool not to notice how I ended up acting strangely under his persuasion.
Now back in the safety of the village, under the protection of the clan, I could properly think back on everything, both with Koji, and back with my first husband.
Things were very different back then. He was nothing like Koji, but even then, despite my ability to crush him with ease, I still acted like a proper wife.
Did I just have a submissive personality?
I honestly didn't know how to feel about it.
Thankfully, I had plenty of other things to distract myself from that line of thought.
Being back meant more than just sleep and warm meals; it meant information.
Information about what was going on in the rest of the world, what was happening out there, what the state of things was, and the current situation about the war. And thankfully, the Hyūga clan had plenty of information to share.
The Hyūga clan wasn't warm, while my parents were warm and loving, the rest of the clan always acted cold and calm. Everyone was smiling and nodding their heads. There weren't big, cry-filled hugs. Not outside our homes at least.
That didn't mean the clan didn't care; outside of my mother, who showed it openly, the rest still welcomed me home warmly, even if there weren't as many around as last time.
So many of us were sent out on different fronts. The Hyūga was valuable and powerful enough to make a difference out there, so we were pulled out to help, making the large clan compound feel a bit empty.
I knew it wouldn't be long before I would be sent out again, the village just couldn't afford to leave a shinobi of my calibre sitting and doing nothing, with even Genin and Chuunin having to work, we Jōnin were essential.
"You aren't going to the Hospital today?" my mother asked as she set down a fresh pot of tea on the table and took her seat.
"Koji already woke up, and he will recover fine. I figure he might want to take the chance to relax and spend time with his friends. I'm sure he is tired of looking at my face every day." I said lightly as I filled my cup.
"Oh, nonsense, no man can get enough of a face like yours. I swear, if you weren't to marry Hiashi, I'm sure your teammate would have fallen for you, my sweet Yuki. Such a beauty you have become, I can't wait until the wedding, you will no doubt look amazing." My mother said, and I couldn't help but lower my face at her words.
"Have you talked with Hiashi about your wedding? Surely they can't keep sending you out on missions, you are in the prime of your youth!" She continued, not noticing my feelings.
"...You've been promised since you were children. The two of you, really are the perfect match, to think my little Yuki will soon enough become the clan's matriarch."
I sipped my tea slowly, buying time. The warmth did little to chase the chill rising under my skin.
"It likely won't happen until after the war is over," I said softly, watching steam curl upward. "The current situation seems pretty bad, even Lord Hizashi has been sent out, so I likely will too."
"But you just came back!" she exclaimed, "Months! Months you were gone, with only a few letters from you, I was so worried." #3
"I know," I said gently, setting the cup down. "But that's what being a kunoichi means, doesn't it?"
She frowned. "The clan shouldn't have to send out someone as important as you. Surely, the village can handle it without risking the future of the clan like that." She clearly wasn't happy about it, and she wasn't alone.
When I talked with Hiashi, he wasn't happy about it either. He also didn't like the fact that the village was pushing the clan to send out so many of its shinobi.
Even the main family was pushed to send out members, which was something they almost never did, not unless it was a safe mission for training. Like the mission I was assigned to with Riku Hyūga.
"The other villages won't care about my marriage plans, so they push the village hard on all fronts." I told her, but she wasn't happy about it.
And who could blame her?
I might be one of the most powerful Kunoichi in the entire world as of right now, and even among all shinobi, I'm not falling behind.
While I was far from invincible, I was still young, and to my mother, that was all that mattered. I was still her young girl, her precious baby, and she wanted me to just stay at home, to be safe.
"Ahhh," she sighed. "You are just like your father, always working hard for the clan… I'm just worried that something will happen to the two of you… I wish you could just stay here, have some kids, me and your father taking care of them, just… being happy."
I smiled softly and reached across the table and placed my hands gently over hers. "Don't worry about me, I can handle myself, and father… he is too stubborn to die, so he will be fine as well."
I did my best to reassure her, even though I was fairly certain that she would at the very least lose me in this war, I just hoped my father would survive, so he could help her through what was to come.
Honestly, I felt horrible, I really did, but I knew what I had to do. And my path would be a lonely one, but such was my destiny.
After breakfast, I stepped outside into the courtyard.
The morning sun filtered through the paper windows, warming the stones beneath my feet. I took a slow breath, letting the scent of blooming plum blossoms and old wood fill my lungs.
Konoha's heartbeat was quieter here. A far cry from the tension at the front lines.
But it wouldn't last.
Once things got really bad, even Konoha would be crushed under the tension and fear, the losses would mount and dread would spread, no matter how hard the Hokage would try to hide the situation from the civilians.
Only so long you could keep things in the dark when you kept telling civilians' parents their kids had died while on a mission, eventually, they would realize that Konoha was struggling.
Because it was, Hiashi had spent hours telling me about the current state of the war, the different fronts, and since the clan was involved on every front, he had access to all the best information.
It wasn't the most romantic welcome back, but that was just how Hiashi was, all stiff, all polite, and all business. So after his father and a few other clan elders had talked with me, asked me about my mission, had a medic-nin of the clan check me for injuries, and finally let us two young ones alone, he hadn't known what to do.
Still, he was doing his best, even if I had halfway expected he would throw himself at me… but I guess I just expected that due to that being how Koji would react.
But no, Hiashi was nothing like that. He was all prim and proper.
Yet, as I stood under the sun, I couldn't help but feel lonely.
Having spent the past half a year surrounded by the others, never alone, always having Kuro around, and later nearly glued to Koji, now I felt alone.
I didn't think loneliness would be a problem. I had been sealed away, alone in darkness for a thousand years, and while I had thankfully spent most of those able to watch the world, I was still alone.
So after that long on my own, I didn't think I would end up feeling lonely, yet here I was, sighing like a lovestruck fool.
I couldn't help myself and turned on the Byakugan. It wasn't the polite thing to do, but I figured I could get away with it, since I was fresh off the frontlines.
Instantly, the clan, and the surrounding village entered my vision. I could see ten thousand people, and everything they were doing.
It was slightly overwhelming, having been in forests and seen nothing but animals, but now, I was back to seeing so many people all doing their thing.
My eyes subconsciously moved to the hospital, where Koji was staying. I did feel somewhat guilty for what I did to him, I really didn't go easy.
Worse still, I would have killed him if not for Kuro, he just… surprised me, and I snapped.
I had broken more bones than I had spared, well, not really. The body has a ton of small bones, and I had mostly broken ribs and large limb bones. I hadn't cracked his skull or spine.
Still, I had instantly regretted what I did, because we were deep in hostile territory, and suddenly Koji was hurt. And badly at that.
It wasn't the time for it, not the place to do something like that, and we now had to transport the heavily injured Koji back and quickly at that.
Thankfully, I knew a few things when it came to medical ninjutsu; I was no Tsunade, but I wasn't bad either. I had been able to keep him unconscious and lock his muscles up to ensure he didn't get further hurt.
Even though I knew he should recover, I was still worried, after all, I had kept him unconscious for such an extended period of time, anything could have gone wrong. So I had kept an eye on him, even gone to visit him for the first three days back here.
Each time I saw him lying there, all hurt, I felt myself forgiving him a little bit more each time.
What he did was no doubt going too far, but I had also gone too far, so I could forgive him. In truth, he just surprised me, but when I thought about it… I should have expected it.
He was all about marking me, staking his claim, he was almost desperate in his effort to claim me, his actions had gotten rougher than normal, his growls filled with anger as he no doubt thought about me going back home to Hiashi.
So really… wasn't I stupid for not seeing it coming? I could already imagine him joking about the all-seeing Byakugan being blinded by him, something he really liked playing around with.
He had woken up yesterday, and his room had barely been without a visitor, the Inuzuka clan was far warmer than the Hyūga. He had countless friends and family come, so I stayed away, I would go speak with him later.
I stood there, just watching Koji for a moment, before turning my attention to the clan, and towards Hiashi, I figured I better spend some time with him, he was a source of both information and opportunities.