No way.
I really did not expect this.
Ei stared, dumbfounded — the 4K, photo before her had left her utterly stunned, speechless.
In the picture, an exquisitely beautiful girl lay gently on top of a dark-haired youth; her clothes were disheveled and slightly revealing, her cherry-like lips parted, cheeks flushed a pale rose.
Ei raised her head, mouth still slightly open.
The girl in front of her looked exactly like the one in the photo.
She half-wondered if she'd been possessed by some devilish grudge.
Surely everything that happened today was an illusion, right?
But then she remembered the taste of the cake she'd just eaten — and reality hit.
Barbatos and Morax were… were this kind of relationship?!
Sensing a subtle shift in the Mind Realm, Venti pulled off his sunglasses, a worried look on his face as he leaned toward Lumine.
"Lumine, what exactly did you just show Beelzebul?"
"Venti~ want to know?" Lumine grinned like a kid and draped an arm over his rounded shoulder.
She kept that mischievous smile and casually plucked another printed photo from the rift, handing it to Venti.
"It's nothing — just a pretty picture I took earlier. No need to thank me~"
Venti's smile, which had been delighted because Lumine shared something so freely, froze into a mask of plaster.
Zhongli raised an eyebrow with interest and moved in beside them.
"Oh? What could possibly make you—" Zhongli's words cut off.
Even with his composed temperament, he inhaled sharply at the sight of the scene captured a few days ago.
If that photo ever got into the hands of the people of Liyue… that would be disastrous.
A retired Archon ending his days with a ruined reputation wasn't a pleasant thought.
Zhongli had some confidence in the divine families and the Seven Stars, but if the woman in that photo turned out to be the Wind Archon, it would be a whole different story.
Worse, everyone still saw the blonde girl as an adorable, reliable youngster.
With a bit of gossip and embellishment from certain mouths, who could say what rumors would ignite?
Zhongli slowly lifted his head.
His gilded eyes fixed on Nagami and Lumine, who were slinking away with guilty steps.
Those two…!
'Why not turn the tables and teach them a lesson,' he thought. It had been a long time since he'd felt such an urge to smack someone.
Since they were just on a casual stroll through the mortal world, a little mischief might be in order.
A spear of stone and a gust of wind materialized out of nowhere, shredding the photo in Venti's hand into a thousand pieces.
Venti and Zhongli both removed their sunglasses and exchanged a glance.
From that look, a decision was clear; they nodded almost at the same instant and turned to face Nagami and Lumine.
"Wait — before you do anything, let me say one thing." Sensing the lethal intent in their eyes, Lumine raised a small hand without haste.
"There are only two copies of this photo. If you destroy the one Venti has, the copy in Beelzebul's hands will be the only original left."
Her tone was entirely truthful: there were indeed only two printed copies.
Of course, Lumine still had nearly a hundred digital shots in her camera — and she could recreate memories as photos at will.
"I'm not lying!" she insisted.
Photos did exist in this world, and they were indeed an alchemical invention capable of producing instant prints — just without cloud backups.
The Archons of Teyvat had no idea what a digital camera was.
If Venti wanted to slack off, why not manufacture a situation where the other side couldn't play it down?
The blonde girl's innocent expression only grew more mischievous.
Whoever believed her had to be an idiot.
Yae Miko watched the unfolding scene with a baffled look.
She couldn't make heads or tails of it, but curiosity tugged at her anyway.
"So… what exactly is on that photo?"
She took a step toward Ei, only to be repelled by another rock spear launched like an arrow.
Seeing Zhongli's expressionless face, the fox shrank back with a sheepish laugh.
She didn't have Nagami and Lumine's nerve, but that didn't stop her heart from clawing with curiosity.
She really wanted to know what the photo showed.
"Ei," Zhongli said quietly, "what's on it isn't real. But to avoid misunderstandings, could you destroy that photo for us?"
His long hair flowed down behind him like molten mercury, catching faint light.
Feeling the crushing pressure from him, Ei regarded Venti calmly and expressionlessly.
'Is this what Barbatos meant by being only a fraction as strong as before?' she wondered, a small, derisive thought forming.
Her sharp violet eyes scrutinized the shredded image in her palm.
Something like this shouldn't be kept from the other Archons — it was too delicious to hide.
But then, Ei turned her head sharply toward the shameless pair in black sunglasses — Lumine and Nagami — and clenched her teeth.
"Fine. I'll destroy it. But in exchange, you two stay out of my business."
"Eh? Aww, come on!" Lumine puffed up her cheeks, pretending to sulk.
Nagami was already used to Lumine's occasional "cute act."
In fact, he secretly enjoyed it — that kind of innocent teasing had a certain… special thrill to it.
"Yes, you have my word," Zhongli said firmly, his deep voice sealing the contract.
He nodded in satisfaction as Ei summoned lightning and burned the photo into ash.
Then his gaze shifted toward Lumine and Nagami again.
"Except for me, Zhongli," Lumine said with a sly grin, "you can still freeload drinks from Tartaglia. But Venti— the kind of wine you love only exists in one place in the entire world, you know~"
Of course, Lumine had already planned this far ahead.
She was never one to make a move without a backup plan.
Sure enough, at the mere mention of wine, Venti's expression faltered.
His resolve began to crumble, and even the emerald glow in his dark hair dimmed.
"If Zhongli's in the mood for a fight," came a teasing voice, "then how about playing with me instead?"
The green-haired girl twirled gracefully on her slender legs, landing lightly before Zhongli.
A white dress with sapphire-blue linings shimmered into existence — C.C. had arrived.
She'd been meaning to test the combat strength of Teyvat's Archons for a while now, but never found the right opportunity.
And since Zhongli seemed fired up, there couldn't be a better time.
When her Herrscher Armament materialized, all three Archons paused for a moment.
Zhongli's golden eyes scrutinized C.C. with rare seriousness.
"Very well," he said at last.
He could tell that neither Nagami nor C.C. meant any harm to the world, yet their true power remained a mystery.
A good spar would be useful… and truthfully, Zhongli hadn't felt this eager for a fight in ages.
"Then let's use the space inside the ring," Lumine said, raising her left hand. "That place should be durable enough."
The three vanished in a flash of light — Zhongli, C.C., and Lumine — leaving Venti's protest echoing in the air:
"Wait! I wanna spectate!"
Nagami sighed, scratching the back of his head.
"Well, there goes my dream of a group beatdown."
He shrugged helplessly.
If only he'd waited a bit longer before showing that photo.
"No," Yae Miko interjected, shaking her head. "Beating Ei like this wouldn't shake her heart at all."
If both the Wind and Geo Archons had fought together, that wouldn't have been a test of willpower — it would've been divine bullying.
After all, aside from Celestia itself, who on this planet could withstand those two?
"Then why didn't you say that earlier?" Nagami complained.
After Miko explained, Nagami and Lumine exchanged glances.
"So basically… even if we team up, it won't work either?"
"That's right."
All the gadgets they'd prepared for the tag-team battle were now useless — a shame, really.
Nagami folded up his sunglasses and walked forward with a light, confident step until he stood opposite Ei.
"This time," he said, eyes calm but sharp, "let me be the one to teach you the Truth of Dreams."
Crackling arcs of violet lightning spread across the blade of his sword, the air humming with power.