The Straw Hats found themselves in a cozy Skypiean home, being welcomed by the angelic Conis and her father. The winged girl moved gracefully, setting down a platter with what looked like cloud-shaped pastries.
"Ohhh, what's this?" Luffy's nose twitched like a bloodhound catching a scent, his pupils turning into meat symbols as he nearly launched himself across the table.
Conis giggled, her wings fluttering slightly. "These are just some leftovers from our lunch earlier. Please, help yourselves!" Her smile was so radiant that Sanji immediately collapsed to his knees, a fountain of blood erupting from his nose.
"AN ANGEL! A TRUE ANGEL HAS BLESSED US WITH HER DIVINE COOKING!" Sanji wailed, already composing love poems in his head.
Nami, however, was less impressed - especially when she noticed Conis' eyes kept drifting toward a certain lazy bastard floating on a cloud near the window. Nolan gave the Skypiean girl a half-lidded glance and a casual finger wave.
THUD.
Conis suddenly collapsed face-first into the pastry platter, her wings twitching spasmodically.
"Conis?!" her father screamed, shaking her unconscious form.
Zoro took a long sip of sake. "And there goes another one."
Nami's eye twitched violently. "Goddammit Nolan, stop breaking the natives!"
Nolan yawned, floating over to grab a quiche. "Not my fault... she looked first." He took a bite just as—
[Ding! Host obtained an item full of love!
Ding! Congratulations for obtaining Seeds of Happiness...
Ding! Congratulations on triggering 500 times critic..
Item Seeds of Happiness has been successfully upgraded into Bag of Unlimited Senzu Beans!]
[Item: Senzu Beans – "The Miracle Seeds of Instant Recovery"
Description:
Small, green, and unassuming, Senzu Beans are mystical legumes cultivated in the sacred lands of Korin Tower. Each bean is packed with enough concentrated energy to fully restore a person's stamina, heal all injuries, and replenish their strength in seconds. A single bean can keep a warrior fighting for days without rest—making them one of the most sought-after and dangerously valuable resources in the world.
Abilities & Effects:
Complete Healing – Instantly closes wounds, mends broken bones, and cures internal damage.
Stamina Restoration – Erases fatigue, refilling energy as if the user had a full night's rest.
Stomach Filler – One bean can feed a person for 10 days, eliminating hunger.
Side Effect:
Random Body Growth - If one took more than 10 in a single day, one part of their body will bloat for 24 hours]
Nolan nearly choked as his system notifications exploded in his head like an overexcited game show host. Before he could process the "Seeds of Happiness" upgrade, a small green bean fell from his mouth into his palm.
Chopper blinked up at him. "Nolan? You okay? You're making a weird face"
Without a word, Nolan dumped hundreds of senzu beans into another bag and shoved it at Chopper. "Eat one."
"Wait, we shouldn't just take random drugs from—MMPH!" Chopper's protest was cut off as Nolan popped a bean into his mouth. The little reindeer's fur suddenly puffed up like a dandelion, his eyes shining like disco balls. "REINDEER JESUS WHAT IS THIS FEELING?!"
Luffy immediately snatched the bag. "Gimme gimme gimme!" He swallowed a handful whole before anyone could stop him.
What followed was the most terrifyingly energetic Luffy moment in history.
"I FEEL LIKE I COULD PUNCH A MOUNTAIN!" Luffy screamed, vibrating in place so fast he became a blur.
Zoro, ever the pragmatist, immediately saw the combat applications. "If I eat one after training... could I train 24 hours straight...?" A terrifying grin spread across his face. "I'm gonna need about 300 of these."
Nami was already doing inventory. "Do you realize how much we could sell these for?! One bean could fund an entire island!" She clutched the bag to her chest like a newborn baby.
Sanji, however, was more concerned with culinary applications. He sniffed a bean thoughtfully. "Hmm... if I grind this into a powder, maybe I could—"
BOOM
The experimental bean explosion left him with a perfect afro of soot. "...Worth it."
Nolan stretched lazily. "No worries, I got plenty... call me if you need my seed." He punctuated this with a deliberately slow wink toward Robin.
The archaeologist didn't even blink. "My, how generous. Though I must ask..." She leaned forward with a dangerous smile. "Is your seed... available for immediate consumption?"
Nami's scream could be heard all the way to Marineford. "Stop each other's dirty jokes now!"
Luffy, completely missing the subtext, shouted with his mouth full of beans, "I'll take all of Nolan's seeds! Gimme!"
Usopp fainted. Chopper started taking everyone's blood pressure in panic. Zoro and Sanji somehow started fighting over whether the beans would work better for training or cooking. Conis woke up just in time to see Luffy trying to stuff an entire handful of beans up his nose for "faster absorption."
Nolan just sighed and floated back to his cloud. "I regret everything."
Nolan suddenly sat upright, his usual lazy expression replaced with mild concern as he remembered the fine print. "Oh right...side effec—"
His warning came too late.
A grotesque squelching noise filled the room as Luffy's chin began expanding at an alarming rate. Within seconds, it had grown so large that it rested on the table like a fleshy serving platter. The rubberman's eyes crossed as he tried to look down at his new appendage.
"Nolan! What happened to my chin?!" Luffy's voice echoed strangely through his new chin cavity, producing a bizarre Doppler effect. He desperately tried to mold it back into shape, but the rubber just flopped around like a dying fish. "It wont go back! Am I stuck like this forever?!"
Nolan rubbed his temples. "Side effects..." he muttered, as if that explained everything.
Chaos erupted instantly.
Usopp immediately shoved two fingers down his throat. "I ate THREE beans! THREE!" he screamed between gagging sounds.
Zoro, ever the pragmatist, simply drew his sword. "Just cut it off. It'll grow back."
"No! It won't!" Chopper shrieked, transforming into Heavy Point to wrestle the swordsman away. "That's not how rubber anatomy works!"
Sanji, who had only nibbled a corner of his bean, suddenly became very interested in his cigarette. "I...don't seem to have any symptoms..." he said carefully, edging away from the chaos.
Nami's eye twitched violently. "You could have lead with that information!" she roared, grabbing Nolan by the collar and shaking him so hard his teeth rattled.
Luffy's wailing reached new heights, tears spraying everywhere as he clung to Nolan like a lifeline. "Am I gonna die ugly?! Shanks will never recognized me like this!" His massive chin wobbled dramatically with each sob, nearly knocking over Conis' father.
The violent shaking finally stopped when Robin sprouted arms to pry Luffy off. Nolan gasped for air, his vision swimming with little dancing Luffy-chinned stars. "Don't...worry..." he wheezed, "Only lasts...24 hours..."
A miraculous silence fell over the room.
Luffy blinked. Then a terrifying grin split his face—or at least the part above his chin. "So...I get to keep this awesome chin for a whole day?!"
Before anyone could react, he struck a dramatic pose, his new chin jutting out like the prow of a ship. "How do I look?" He turned to Conis, who was still unconscious. "Hey lady! Wake up and look at my cool chin!"
THWACK!
Nami's fist connected with Luffy's skull with a mysterious Haki-like precision that bypassed his rubber defenses entirely. "Nobody wants to see your stupid chin!"
Luffy's massive chin hit the floor with a splat, his body folding over it like a rubber blanket. "Worth it..." he mumbled from somewhere beneath the chin flesh.
Zoro nodded approvingly at Nami. "Nice punch."
Sanji immediately switched to simping mode. "Nami-swan's anger is as beautiful as a hurricane~!"
Usopp, who had successfully vomited up two and a half beans, suddenly froze. "Wait...if I only digested half a bean..." He frantically felt his face. "Do I have like...a quarter-chin?!"
Chopper pulled out a mirror. "You've actually got a very stylish goatee now."
Usopp burst into tears. "I'M TOO YOUNG FOR FACIAL HAIR!"
Nolan, having finally caught his breath, flopped back onto his cloud. "Next time...read the manual..." he muttered before immediately falling asleep.
Robin chuckled as she sipped her tea, watching the chaos unfold.
---