The Silverhaven sun was just beginning to shine through the soft haze of morning mist as Lio trotted down the cobbled street, his pace unusually light for someone who usually walked with hunched shoulders and wary eyes. Tied securely to his belt was a short sword, cheap, lightly dented, clearly second-hand, but to Lio, it gleamed like a holy relic. It was his. Earned with his own silver. And with it came a fragile hope that maybe, just maybe, he could finally leave behind the days of scrubbing chimneys and scraping slimes.
He struck a pose right there in the street, sword in one hand, other on his hip.
Lio: "Behold! Lio the Brave has acquired his mighty weapon! No more slime-cleaning! No more broom-wielding! Today, I begin my real adventure!"
A passing guard gave him a confused glance.
A dog barked.
He coughed awkwardly and sheathed the short sword, holding it with both hands like a priceless heirloom.
Lio: "I am officially dangerous now," he whispered to himself, then added under his breath,
Lio: "To slimes. Possibly rats. Goblins... maybe next month."
At the Silverhaven Adventurer's Guild, the morning crowd bustled, chairs scraped, orders rang out, and quests changed hands like hotcakes.
Red, as usual, sat at the far end of the tavern hall, one leg crossed over the other, quietly sipping a black coffee like some war-weary mercenary. His hood was pulled back just enough to reveal his pale, unbothered expression.
Opposite him, chaos was brewing.
Sarah, with her golden hair tied back and a hand on her hip, pointed at Selena, her blue eyes flashing.
Sarah: "You don't own Red! Just because he saved you first doesn't mean he's yours."
Selena: "I never said I own him, but I'm the one who cooks his breakfast every morning!"
Sarah: "Please, even Lia and Lana said your eggs taste like burnt regrets!"
Selena: "THOSE LITTLE TRAITORS!"
The argument escalated as they leaned in, foreheads almost touching, hands gesturing wildly over the table. Forks clinked, cups jostled, other adventurers ducked out of the splash zone.
Red, unfazed, sipped his coffee with the patience of a monk.
At the center of the guild hall, two girls, one blonde with flashing blue eyes, the other brown-haired and steaming with fury, were locked in a standoff. A small crowd had already gathered, watching like it was the week's main event.
At a nearby table, Red sipped calmly from a steaming cup of black coffee, completely ignoring the chaos in front of him. The corner of his mouth twitched once, almost a smile.
Just then, Lio entered the hall, practically skipping as he held his sheathed blade against his chest. He immediately stopped when he saw the two girls snarling at each other like wild cats.
Lio: "…Oh no."
He tiptoed past them and made his way to the quest board, eyes scanning for an easy job. Instead, a familiar green ink stamped across nearly every parchment.
Quest: GOBLIN INFESTATION – URGENT
Quest: GOBLIN CAVE CLEARANCE
Quest: GOBLIN PATROL SIGHTING – HIGH RISK
Lio: "Ugh… Why is it always goblins…"
He turned toward Red, walking carefully between the girls, who were still trading verbal daggers across the table.
Lio: "Red?" he called out, glancing toward the table.
Lio: "Why are there so many goblin quests?"
Red's eyes lifted. His expression didn't change.
Red: "Goblins reproduce fast. Always a nest somewhere. You burn one, ten more pop up."
Lio: "Hey Red, uh… quick question. What exactly is the deal with goblins? They can't be that bad, right? I mean… they're just green and dumb?"
Red took another sip of his coffee, set the mug down, and stared at him with the calm, flat tone of a man who's seen the unspeakable.
Red: "They breed fast. Raid at night. Fight dirty. And if they catch you unarmed…"
He let the pause linger, eyes narrowing slightly.
Red: "…Hope you're ready. They'll use you to breed more."
Lio: "…What?"
Red: "They don't care what gender you are."
Lio: "Wait, wait—WHAT?!"
Red: "You asked."
Lio: "MY REAR IS NOT A QUEST REWARD!"
He let out a strangled squeak, spinning in place and slapping both hands behind him protectively like a squirrel guarding its winter stash. He stepped backward toward the wall, pressing his back to it as if trying to fuse with the stone.
Lio: "I take it back! I take everything back! I'm not emotionally ready for this level of trauma!"
Sarah and Selena, mid-argument, blinked and turned to look at the scene.
Lio continued, scanning the room like every chair might sprout a goblin.
Lio: "I'm too young! I just bought my sword! Let me keep my dignity!"
Selena: "Pfff… hahaha!!"
Sarah: "By the god, what did I just witness?!"
Both girls burst out laughing, the tension between them shattered like glass. Selena leaned against the table, wiping away tears.
Selena: "I haven't laughed that hard since… ever!"
Sarah: "Lio, you idiot, I was mad, but now I can't even stay mad!"
Sarah: "O-Oh god, the face he made!"
Selena: "I—He grabbed his butt like a squirrel guarding its last acorn!"
Lio : "You all think this is funny, but I'm the one who has to sleep with one eye open!"
Even Red coughed quietly into his mug, the closest thing anyone ever got to a chuckle from him.
Lio slowly turned around, now bright red, muttering,
Lio: "That was a perfectly reasonable reaction…"
Selena stumbled toward him, wiping tears from her cheeks.
Selena: "I'm sorry, Lio. You're just—too much."
Sarah added, "I'd party with you any day, butt treasure and all."
Lio gave a weak grin.
Lio: "Well… long as it's not goblins, I'm good."
The guild hall slowly resumed its usual din, though several adventurers were now chuckling quietly whenever they looked at Lio.
Meanwhile, Selena turned back to Red, now slightly calmer.
Selena: "So… no goblins for now, right?"
Red: "Unless you want your intestines redecorated."
Selena: "Nope! Herb-picking sounds wonderful."
Sarah pouted beside her. "I wanted to test my new sword on something though..."
Later that morning, the three rookies sat at a table, Sarah and Selena still occasionally giggling, Lio poking at his food like it might attack him, and Red simply content with his silence.
Selena: "So… still want to fight goblins, brave adventurer?"
Lio: "I'll pick herbs. For the rest of my life. No goblins. No holes."
Sarah: "Maybe we should call you 'Lio the Untouched.'"
Lio: "STOP!!"
Red leaned back, eyes closed, arms folded, the rare ghost of a smirk tugging at his lips. His rookies might be chaotic, loud, and slightly insane, but for the first time, he didn't mind having a party.
Not one bit.
With laughter echoing behind them, the newly minted "Red's Rookie Party" strode out into the morning light, three rookies and one stoic veteran, bound together by odd fate, mutual respect, and a growing sense of family.
Later that day....
That night, as moonlight spilled gently over the shingled roofs of Silverhaven, Lio walked home in a daze. His new short sword bounced at his side with each step, but he hardly noticed it anymore.
His eyes were glassy.
His steps were slow.
A single phrase played on repeat in his mind like a cursed bard's jingle:
"They'll use you to breed more."
"They don't care what gender you are."
"...rear hole might get penetrated..."
He shivered violently.
Lio: "Why, Red… why would you say it like that?"
A cat meowed nearby. Lio flinched.
He passed by an alley and heard rustling. He spun, drawing his sword with shaking hands.
Lio: "WHO GOES THERE?! I'M WARNING YOU—I'M NOT THAT KIND OF ADVENTURER!!"
A drunk stumbled out of the shadows, belched, then wandered off without a word.
Lio whimpered.
Back in the safety of his rundown little home, Lia and Lana were already curled up in their shared blanket nest, softly snoring. The sight soothed him a bit, reminded him of his real reason for doing this. He sheathed his sword gently and sat against the wall, drawing his knees to his chest.
But then...
From the crack in the floorboard…
The wind whispered.
"...rear hole might get penetrated..."
Lio: "AAAAAAAAAAA!"
He slapped his hands over his ears.
Lio: "No, no, no. I am a warrior. A man. I fear nothing. I—"
Suddenly, the floor creaked.
He froze.
His eyes slowly moved to the door. Just the wind.
Or was it…?
He stood up and dragged a chair across the room to barricade the door.
Lio : "They won't take me alive…"
He dropped to the floor again, hugging his knees tighter.
Lio: "Selena was right. I should've just picked herbs forever…"