"Will you stay still and let me heal you?" Vivi snarled, the kind of snarl that didn't belong on a princess but fit her a little too well in the moment. Her voice cracked with frustration, raw enough that even Sanji froze mid-swoon nearby. It wasn't a polite request. It wasn't even angry scolding. It was a threat. Pure and simple.
And thus began the world's deadliest round of "Ring Around the Rosy."
Varin circled the table with stubborn, limping determination, one hand on his side, the other casually spinning a spoon like he wasn't leaking pain from every movement. Vivi moved in the opposite direction, keeping perfect pace, steps sharp and precise like she was stalking a wounded animal. Which, to be fair, she absolutely was.
"Lass, I'm fine," Varin insisted, waving her off with the hand not holding his cracked ribs together. "Tis just a scratch. I'll walk it off."
"It is not a scratch," Vivi shot back, pointing a bandage roll at him like a weapon. "You have a dent in your side the size of a fist, three ribs are broken, and you've been grunting every time you breathe!"
"Aye, that just means I'm breathin' harder than usual."
"That isn't how lungs work!"
Usopp peeked over the table from the floor, trembling. "Varin… buddy… maybe just… let the princess fix you? Before she evolves into something worse?"
"She's already worse," Varin muttered. "She's angry."
"RIGHTFULLY ANGRY!" Vivi barked, lunging around the table. Varin yelped and darted the other way, wincing but refusing to stop. She snatched a handful of bandages, slapping them onto the table like ammunition. The medkit lay open beside them: cheap ointments, alcohol pads, some thread, and a needle. Vivi seemed way too ready to use.
"You're bleeding internally!" she snapped.
"Can't see that blood, so it doesn't count."
"That is not how anything works!"
Sanji hovered in the doorway, clutching plates of food. "Varin, please… for her sake, not even yours, stop being an idiot."
Luffy was leaning upside down from the ceiling beams, because, of course, he was. "Why's everyone running around? Is this a new game?"
"It's not a game!" Vivi shouted.
"It's a little bit of a game," Varin admitted, dodging as she lunged again. "I mean, look at ye. You're terrifying when you're mad."
"STAND. STILL!"
"Make me."
Her eye twitched, just once, and the room went cold.
Then she vaulted the table.
Varin swore, tried to dodge, failed spectacularly because his ribs betrayed him, and Vivi tackled him to the floor with enough force to knock the air out of both of them.
"You stubborn, reckless, thick-skulled lunatic," she growled, pinning him with surprising strength. "You almost died!"
"Aye," Varin wheezed, staring up at her with a crooked grin, "but I didn't."
"That's not comforting!"
"No? Thought it was quite inspirational, myself."
She jabbed a finger into his chest, not the broken side, thankfully, and glared with enough fire to melt Mister 3's entire wax collection.
"You are letting me treat you. End of discussion."
"See, end of discussion, I'm fine, so I'm gonna go… probably lie down," Varin said, trying to keep his voice gentle even as he eased the furious princess off him. She did not move easily, and the effort had him gritting his teeth, but he managed it. At least until he noticed Sanji staring at him like he was considering homicide. That was Varin's cue to start edging away.
"Why don't you go help Zoro? The moron cut halfway through his own foot before I got there. Surely that needs more attention than me. He cannae even stand."
"See?" Vivi shot back. "You're using new words. That's how I know you're in bad shape."
"She's got a point," Usopp said, peeking from behind Sanji like Varin might lunge and take a chunk out of his arm. "You've never said that word before."
Varin looked between them, shoulders sagging as he realized he wasn't talking his way out of this one. "You all are dramatic as hell," he muttered, though the wobble in his stance didn't help his case.
Varin tried to slap on his usual grin, the one that said he had zero intentions of cooperating, but it came out crooked and tired. He took one step back toward the door, testing his chances, and his ribs screamed loud enough that he almost folded. Vivi's eyes narrowed like a cat catching a mouse trying to make a break for it.
"Don't even think about it," she warned, stepping closer with the medkit cradled like a weapon.
"I'm just… pacing myself," Varin said, which fooled absolutely no one. He lifted both hands in surrender anyway. "Deep breaths. Stretching the legs. You know. Healthy stuff."
"Healthy would be sitting down before you fall over," Sanji snapped, already rolling his sleeves up like he was preparing to force-feed him soup the second Vivi was done. "You're dripping on my floor."
Varin blinked down at the streaks of red trailing from his side. "Oh. Look at that. Didn't even notice."
"That's the problem," Usopp whispered, horrified. "That's literally the problem."
Nami appeared from the galley door, took one look at Varin, then at Vivi's death grip on the medkit, and sighed. "Just let her fix you. If you die, I'm not explaining it to the giants. Or Luffy."
"Luffy would understand." Varin tried.
Nami stared at him flatly. "No, he wouldn't. He'd blame the table."
Varin opened his mouth to argue, but the ship suddenly listed just enough to make him sway. Vivi surged forward like she'd been waiting for that exact moment, grabbed his wrist, and guided him firmly toward the nearest chair with all the gentleness of someone hauling a disobedient dog.
"Sit," she ordered.
"I'm sittin', I'm sittin'," he muttered, lowering himself with the grace of a wounded moose. "Lass, I swear on every star in the sky, it's really not that bad."
Vivi planted herself in front of him, medkit open, determination burning hotter than the candle giant he'd just survived. Varin eyed the supplies, then eyed her, then let out a slow sigh.
"Actually," he said, lifting a brow, "I'm bettin' you don't even know how to patch me up. Princess like you, I doubt you ever had to stitch anything up before. No offence, lass, but since that stunt with you sneakin' into… what the hell were they callin' themselves again? Baroque Works. Since all that, I'd wager the only hands-on you've been doin' is fightin', not healin'."
Her jaw tightened. "I know enough."
"Ah." Varin gave her a lopsided grin. "That's what worries me."
Vivi didn't flinch. She didn't snap back. She just stared down at him with the focused, stubborn expression of someone who absolutely had no idea what she was doing but was committed anyway. That look alone made Varin's blood run colder than the ocean outside.
"I said I know enough," she repeated, though the smallest wobble in her tone betrayed her.
Sanji, who had been hovering like a mother hawk, cleared his throat. "Princess… do you want me to show you how to handle the bandages?"
"No," she said instantly. "I can do this."
Usopp peeked over Sanji's shoulder. "Can you?"
"I can," Vivi insisted, despite the fact that she was holding the roll of bandages upside down.
Varin's eyes followed that mistake with slow horror. "Vivi," he said gently, "lass… you're about to wrap me like a cursed burrito."
She huffed and flipped the roll the right way, cheeks pinking. "I'm learning."
"Aye. On me," Varin groaned. "Brilliant. Fantastic. Just what my day needed."
He tried to stand and immediately regretted it as a blade of pain shot through his ribcage. He sank back into the chair with a grunt, gripping the table until his knuckles went pale.
Vivi stepped closer, her expression softening despite her frustration. "You can barely breathe without wincing. Let me try. Please."
Varin exhaled through his nose, long and heavy. The fight drained out of him in a way no enemy had ever managed.
"Fine," he muttered. "But if you start pokin' organs, I'm bitin' someone."
Sanji raised a hand. "Not it."
Usopp ducked behind him. "Also not it!"
"You lot scram," Varin said, lifting a hand and doing a weak shooing motion. "If I'm about to get cut open, I don't want anyone in the splash zone."
Sanji bristled. "She's not cutting you open."
"She might," Usopp whispered behind him, eyes darting to the upside-down bandages again.
Vivi glared at them both. "Out."
Sanji hesitated, torn between worry and getting kicked across the room. Usopp nudged him toward the door with the desperation of a man who wanted no part in accidental surgery.
"Good luck, Princess," Usopp said, slipping out.
"Be gentle, Vivi, don't hurt yourself, the mutt you can", Sanji said, which earned him a swat from her before he finally stepped out as well.
The door closed behind them, leaving the room suddenly quiet.
Just Varin. And Vivi.
The air shifted, settling into something calmer but heavier, like even the walls knew this was a moment neither of them could hide behind jokes or crew anymore.
Vivi stood a little closer now, the medkit open at her side, her expression softer without the boys hovering.
Varin leaned back in the chair with a rough sigh. "Well… guess it's just us two now."
"It is," she said, voice gentler than before. She crouched beside him, hands steadying as she reached for the bandages again. "And you're going to let me help you this time."
Varin rolled his eyes but didn't argue. His ribs throbbed with every breath, and truth be told, her being the only one there made it somehow easier to sit still.
Vivi brushed aside the shredded remains of his shirt, revealing the dark bruise sprawled across his side, and winced.
"…Varin," she whispered, "this is worse than you were letting on."
Varin smirked, tired but still him, that same stubborn bend in his voice even while half-slumped in the chair. "Nah, just a scratch, like I said. So you just stop the external bleedin', keep all the blood internal where it belongs."
Vivi fixed him with a look that said she absolutely did not approve of that medical philosophy.
He waved a hand anyway. "You said the island that log pose is pointin' to is known for its doctors, yea? Then I'll get patched up proper when we get there. You can help by convincin' Luffy to kidnap one."
"Kidnap, Varin!" Vivi hissed, scandalised but too focused on tying a clean wrap around his ribs to stop.
"Well, what d'you want me to say?" he shot back, grin slanted. "Ask politely? Lass, it's only through Thor's strength we've lasted this long, and that's bein' generous. Most things we've fought so far aren't even worth their salt. Candle man excluded; he actually managed to rearrange my insides."
Vivi's hands paused for a second. "You really think we should… take a doctor?"
"Aye, lass. We need one. I can only take so many dents before I start lookin' like a map of the Grand Line."
She frowned, concentrating as she tucked the bandage under and smoothed it down. "You can't just take people… even if they're doctors…"
"Luffy can," Varin said. "Moron's got a talent for it. Man doesn't even know the word 'kidnap' but somehow keeps doin' it."
Vivi's lips twitched, fighting a smile she absolutely didn't want him to see. "It's not funny."
"It's a wee bit funny."
"It's not."
"Then it's just a wee bit truer than funny."
She finally huffed, sitting back slightly to look him over with a critical eye. "You're impossible."
"And yet here you are patchin' me up anyway."
"Because if I don't, you'll tear something important and die."
Varin shrugged one shoulder. "Then I guess it's a good thing you're here, aye?"
Her hands stilled again, softer this time. She didn't say anything right away. Just breathed, slow and steady, then reached for ointment to smear along some of the cracked skin around his ribs.
He hissed through his teeth. "Saints above, that burns."
"You deserved worse for scaring us like that," she muttered, cheeks reddening but voice steady.
He opened one eye, watching her. "Aye. But you're doin' good, lass."
"…Just hold still."
"Thor's beard, that stings."
"Hold still."
"You enjoyin' this?"
Her voice went flat. "A little."
He barked a laugh, even if it hurt. "Aye. Thought so."
The next day, everything went sideways fast.
Nami's fever didn't creep up; it surged, burning through her like wildfire. One minute she was sweating, the next she was barely conscious, her breaths thin and shaky. She didn't fight it, didn't bark orders, didn't even curse. She just lay there, shivering under every blanket they owned, eyes glassy like she was staring through the ceiling and into some far-off place.
And Varin… well, whatever stubborn spark he had left was dimming under two and a half days of internal bleeding catching up to him. The stitches Vivi had managed were enough to keep everything inside for now, but nothing stopped the ache spreading deeper, heavier, like someone was pouring molten iron into his ribs. Standing was impossible. Sitting was a negotiation with gravity. Even breathing felt like signing a contract he hadn't agreed to.
They were bedridden together, side by side in opposite hammocks, both completely useless.
Nami could barely form words. Sometimes she whispered something incoherent, sometimes she didn't speak at all, just curled tighter under the blankets as another fever wave hit.
Varin wasn't much better. His mouth was the only part of him that still functioned, and even that was getting sloppy.
He spoke like a drunk man sliding off a barstool.
"Luffyyy," he slurred, pointing vaguely toward the ceiling even though Luffy wasn't there. "Get… get the doctor. Get him… now. Before she melts."
Usopp, who actually was there, peeked over the railing. "She's not going to melt, she has a fever!"
Varin blinked heavy, unfocused eyes at him. "Same thing."
"No, it's not!"
"Feels like it."
He shifted, regretted it instantly, and sucked in air through clenched teeth. A groan rumbled out of him. "Saints… if I sneeze, I die."
Nearby, Sanji was pacing the room like a man possessed. "We need a real doctor. We need medicine. We need something! Anything!"
Nami stirred weakly. "…too loud…"
Sanji froze, instantly lowering his voice to a whisper. "Sorry, Nami-swan!"
Varin waved a hand lazily from his hammock, the motion sluggish as molasses. "If one of you… kicks a table again, I'll crawl across the floor and bite your ankles."
"You can't even stand!" Usopp shot back.
"I'll crawl," Varin repeated, confident in the worst possible way.
Everything felt dim and heavy, air thick with tension. Luffy stood in the doorway watching both of them, jaw tight, eyes dark and unreadable. For all his usual nonsense, there were moments where he turned strangely quiet. Focused.
This was one of those moments.
"We're getting a doctor," he said simply.
Next time Varin woke, the world snapped into place one slow blink at a time. The ceiling wasn't the Going Merry. The air didn't smell like ocean salt. And someone was standing over him.
A woman.
Old enough that calling her "older than dirt" felt generous, but something primal in him whispered that saying it aloud would get him smacked into the next life. Her posture had that ironclad confidence of someone who'd seen a century of trouble and decided she'd win every argument with it.
He lay still a moment, checking his own body. The pain was dulled, the swelling eased, and breathing didn't feel like a knife twisting between his ribs. He felt… better. Not perfect, but miles better than before.
He swallowed, cleared his dry throat, and tried the safest approach he had.
"Hello… young lass?"
Her eyes lit up immediately, sharp and amused in equal measure.
"At least one of you has some eyes in your crew," she huffed, crossing her arms. "The rest of them blundered around my doorstep like newborn calves."
Varin shifted, careful not to push his luck. "So you're the doctor?"
"If I wasn't, you'd be a corpse right now." She leaned in, giving him a look that pierced through skin and bone. "You're lucky I decided you lot were pathetic enough to help. Most pirates I chase off with a broom."
He blinked. "A broom?"
"A hard swing and good aim works wonders." Then she jabbed a finger at his chest. "You, boy, were bleeding inside so badly I'm shocked you didn't keel over days ago. Stubbornness kept you alive."
"Thor's stubbornness," Varin mumbled out of habit.
She snorted. "Call it whatever you want. But if you stand too soon, I'll pin you to that bed myself."
Before he could answer, she jerked her head toward the door. "Your navigator's the real mess. Fever like that should have taken her out already. She'll live now, but she's not out of the storm."
Varin's face tightened. "Nami's stable?"
"As stable as a girl cooking from the inside can be after idiots sailed her straight into winter with no medical supplies." She paused, glaring at him again. "And speaking of idiots. I still need to check the stitching on your ribs."
Varin sighed and let his head sink back onto the pillow. "Aye. Yes, lass."
She gave him a thin, crooked smile.
"Good. Maybe you'll survive after all."
She didn't even give him a moment of peace before continuing, pointing a gnarled finger at his nose. "And you were a miserable mess. Whoever patched you up the first time should never touch a needle again."
"Ah," Varin muttered, already knowing the answer, "so Vivi failed the test."
"She didn't fail a test. She failed every possible test." The doctor snorted. "If medical skill were a ladder, that girl started underground."
Varin cracked a tired grin. "She tried her best."
"And I fixed her best into something that won't kill you before dinner," the doctor shot back.
He let his eyes drift toward the doorway. "She'll be crushed when she finds out."
"She should be crushed. It'll motivate her to stop treating wounds like she's wrapping birthday presents." The doctor settled back on her heels, expression sharp but not unkind. "You lot seem good with enthusiasm, terrible with technique."
Varin let out a weak laugh. "We're pirates, Doctor. Technique's optional."
"Not if you intend to stay alive long enough to annoy me again," she said. Then she pressed a cool hand to his chest and leaned in slightly, her tone shifting. "Now breathe in. Slow."
He did. The air filled his lungs without that stabbing fire that had been dogging him for days.
Her eyes flicked up, satisfied. "Better."
He swallowed. "You're a miracle worker, lass."
"I'm a doctor. Miracles are for people who didn't ignore internal bleeding for two days."
He chuckled, then winced. "Right. No laughing."
"No laughing. No standing. No, trying to impress anyone. Just breathe, stay still, and let your body stop acting like it's trying to escape itself."
A beat passed before Varin cleared his throat. "Nami… she'll really be alright?"
"She'll wake up. Exhausted, weak, but alive. I got to her in time."
A soft exhale slipped from him. "Thank Thor."
"Thank me," the doctor corrected.
"And here I thought you weren't lookin' for worship."
"Please. If anyone on this island deserves it, it's me. Now shut your eyes before I sedate you with a frying pan."
"No can do for that, doc," Varin said, laughing in the way a man laughs when his ribs are hanging on by stubbornness alone. It came out more like a wet rasp. The doctor's death glare could have peeled paint. "Doubt I could sleep if I wanted to anyway. Mind tellin' me how the other three are? Pretty sure the lot that came with me were… a boy with a straw hat, scar under his eye… one with blonde hair and stupid eyebrows. You said Nami was fine, but I'm guessin' those two are hurt as well. I think I remember Luffy climbing a mountain carryin' all three of us."
"They'll be fine, boy," the doctor replied, voice losing just enough bite to count as kindness. "Your captain was minutes away from frostbite over his whole body. Your blonde friend had a few broken ribs, blood loss, and some internal bruising. But your captain carried all three of you up three miles of cliffside in a blizzard. If you've any sense at all, you'll be grateful instead of flapping your lips."
Varin blinked slowly, trying to picture the idiot. "Three miles… with us… in that storm?" He let out a low groan, equal parts disbelief and pride. "That moron. That absolute madman."
"Mm. The sort that either dies young or becomes a legend. Hard to tell which yet." She adjusted a bandage across his ribs with efficient movements. "The cook woke up earlier. He nearly passed out again when he saw the state you and the girl were in. Boy's got a strong heart but soft eyes."
Varin snorted. "Soft eyes? Sanji? Doc, that man's eyes only go soft for one thing, and it's not me."
"I said eyes, not brain," she retorted dryly.
He cracked a smile, tired but real. "Fair point."
She moved to check the stitching where his wound had been reopened and fixed correctly. Her touch, while rough, was careful. "You, on the other hand, are lucky. If they'd been an hour later, you'd be dead or missing half your insides."
"Ah. That explains why I feel like a gutted fish."
"That's because you were two steps from being one."
He lay there, breathing slowly, letting the room settle around him. The faint crackle of a fire drifted through the air, along with the smell of something actually edible. Not sea beef. Not monster stew. Actual food.
"Where… exactly am I?" he asked finally.
"My home," she said simply. "And my castle. And my room. Several jobs. Try not to bleed on anything."
"I'll try," Varin answered. "No promises."
She jabbed his shoulder with one bony finger. "You will."
He raised his hands in surrender. "Aye. I will."
A moment passed before he spoke again. "So Nami's stable. Sanji's alive. Captain's breathing. And I'm patched up by the island's finest."
"The island's only," she corrected. "Which makes me both the best and the worst. Convenient, isn't it?"
"Very," he murmured.
She turned toward a pot simmering nearby. "You'll eat when I say you can. Not before. You've lost too much blood for anything heavy."
"Soup then?" Varin asked hopefully.
"Water," she said.
He stared at her.
"Water… soup?" he tried.
"Water," she repeated, more sternly.
Varin let his head drop back with an exaggerated groan. "This island's crueller than any sea king."
"Good. Fear keeps you alive." She paused, giving him a sideways look. "And if you behave, I might let you upgrade to broth."
He perked up slightly. "The luxury."
"Don't push it."
He didn't. Not this time.
"Doc?" he murmured after a long moment.
"Yes?"
"Thanks. For savin' them."
She sniffed, unimpressed. "Save your gratitude until all of you can walk without collapsing."
"I managed that when I was leakin, mostly anyway, so with the best doctor around patchin me up, I think I could manage it," Varin said, trying to sound smug and landing somewhere closer to woozy stubbornness. He even gave her a little shrug, though halfway through it turned into a wince sharp enough to make his whole side twitch.
The doctor fixed him with a stare that could freeze lava. "You 'managed' it because you were too delirious to feel the damage you were doing," she replied. "And if you try standing on your own right now, you'll undo every stitch I put in. Which means I'll have to redo them. Which means you'll scream. Which means you'll annoy me. Which means I might accidentally stitch your mouth shut instead."
Varin blinked. "Doc… that sounded a little personal."
"It was," she said.
He opened his mouth to fire back, but she narrowed her eyes, and his brain slapped a hand over his own lips before he could speak. He settled back, snorting quietly. "Fine. Fine. I'll behave."
"You will," she confirmed, adjusting his blankets with all the gentleness of a bear swatting a log. "Because you're still half-drained and pale as old rope. And because I did not keep you alive just for you to tear yourself open again."
Varin looked down at himself. The bandages were clean. Tight. The pain wasn't gone, but it was dull instead of sharp. His limbs felt heavy, but… anchored. And he wasn't lightheaded for the first time in days.
He let out a breath. "Feels strange bein stitched together proper. Like someone finally hammered my ribs back into shape."
"That's because I did," she said. "Several of them were bent inward, which I'm sure felt lovely."
"They sure… did not," he muttered.
She grunted, checking his pulse with two fingers that felt like wood and iron. "You'll recover. Slowly. And you'll stay in that bed until I say otherwise."
"How long?"
"Until you stop looking like you fought a cannon with your chest."
Varin snorted again. "Was closer to a giant, but sure."
She ignored that. "You'll drink water every hour. You'll nap when your body demands it. And under no circumstances will you try to walk around like the hero you clearly think you are."
"Can I at least sit up?"
"No."
"Can I roll over?"
"No."
"Can I breathe, or is that negotiable too?"
She raised one eyebrow. "Keep testing me. See how far it gets you."
He snorted, a half-smile sliding across his face. "Can I at least know your name, Doc?"
She leaned closer, eyes like sharpened steel. "Call me Dr Kureha. And don't you dare call me granny."
Varin blinked, trying to process it. "Kureha, eh? Right. Doctor Kureha."
She nodded once, brisk. "That's me."
Silence settled for a moment, heavy but quiet, broken only by the faint crackle of the fire outside and the soft creak of the ancient castle.
"You know my assistant is terrified of you. And only you," Kureha said, folding her arms and levelling a stare sharp enough to peel bark off a tree. "The kid's scared of people in general, sure. Anyone who isn't me puts him on edge. But you?" She jabbed a finger at his chest. "I've never seen him outright refuse to go near a patient before. That's why I'm standing over you instead of him. So. Care to explain that?"
Varin blinked slowly, still half-propped on the pillows. "Me?"
"Yes, you, giant bleeding disaster," she snapped. "What did you do, eat someone in front of him?"
He let out a wheezing laugh, tugging at his ribs and grimacing. "No… least I don't think so. Never saw the kid."
"Reindeer. About three feet tall," Kureha said, her voice sharp. "Ring a bell?"
Varin blinked, then smirked despite the ache in his side. "Ah… that explains it. We got a duck," he muttered, forcing himself to stop before his laugh turned into something ugly.
Kureha's eyes flickered in surprise, narrowing slightly. "A duck?"
"Yeah," Varin said, shaking his head. "Six feet tall, bigger than its owner, all that jazz. But terrified of me. To most prey animals, I'm basically death. Not shocking the lad's scared." He let out a soft exhale, wincing again. "I"m a Wolf Zoan. Makes sense the instincts kick in, even if I'm me now."
The doctor studied him a moment longer, eyes narrowing in that quiet way that said she was weighing whether he was a threat or just an idiot with fangs. "Not the first I've heard of it. Fine. I'll explain it to him. But listen closely. If you even think about chewing on him like your captain and blondie, I will cut you into chunks and feed you to my patients. Clear?"
Varin raised both hands, palms out, more tired than offended. "Crystal."
"Good. Then follow your one job." She tapped the chart against his chest, not gently. "Rest."
She turned on her heel and strode toward the door, kicking it open with the toe of her boot. The cold air from the hall rolled in, brushing across his face, carrying the sharp hospital smell and the muffled chaos of the castle's new residents.
Varin let his head fall back into the pillow. His ribs throbbed in deep pulses, his body still locked between exhaustion and the primal pull of the beast inside him. He closed his eyes for half a heartbeat.
In the hallway, Kureha's voice drifted back, already shouting at someone about sanitation, blood trails, and idiots who shouldn't be awake yet.
Varin exhaled slowly.
"Yeah," he muttered to the ceiling. "Rest. Sure. I'll get right on that."
The room settled around him, quiet and cold, and for the moment at least, he let himself sink into the stillness.