As school closed down for exams, I lost my sole means of livelihood, and time-pass. I was always in the house, either reading novels or looking for jobs. I had not yet been called for any interview. All the schools were closed for the next few months, and the new session would start only in July. March to June is anyway the dry season for teachers' hiring.
Too much time in hand and the absence of a good friend is the most unpleasant combination to be living with. I was in my room, looking for things to do. My eyes fell on the full-size mirror. I noticed, the person in the mirror was not happy. Somewhere in my heart, I had a bad feeling about myself. I tore my eyes away from the mirror, reaching for the whisky bottle. I made a large peg and finished it in one go. I did not want to be that unhappy man. I wanted to forget that feeling, to lose my senses. I downed two large pegs, played a song on my phone, and slept peacefully.
The next day, I made a call long overdue. To Nic, my friend. I am not sure I felt all that emotionally or not, but I surely could not afford to lose him. He was upset because of the fiasco on his birthday and I was surely to blame. So I called him up and apologized. He waved it off with his words, saying he had lost temper because he was missing his family. But I knew he was disappointed. But what could an emotionally barren man like me do!
Days were unending, but evenings were the most difficult to pass. While people waited eagerly for the evening, so that they could go out to have fun with friends or spend some time with family, I dreaded it. There was no work to keep me.
I finally picked my lazy bones up and stepped into the overgrown garden. Outside the gate, there was silence on the road. I had noticed that in this colony, kids played in assigned areas, carefully, without making any excess noise.
I was so lonely, I started longing for Lexi's company, actually. She would have come and disturbed me a million times till now, but I wondered where she was.
My wait ended when I found Lexi leaning on the balcony a few minutes later. I waved at her, smiling broadly. I was afraid my smile could be interpreted wrongly. Lexi waved back eagerly. She took a seat on the plastic chair with her patent smile, gazing at me.
I had never seen her go out with friends or to play. In spite of being weak in studies, she did not even go outside for tuitions. I voiced my thoughts aloud, 'Why don't you go outside and play with your friends?'
'I am not allowed to play with them,' Lexi said emotionlessly. 'Why?'
'Mom doesn't allow me to go outside,' she made a face this time.
I nodded slowly, considering her words. Lexi hardly ever listened to her mom. What little interaction I had with Ella, she did not seem like an authoritarian.
'Will you play with me, sir?'Lexi asked. I did not know how to react, but I found myself nodding.
'What game would you want to play?' 'Thank you, sir,' Lexi squealed. 'I am coming.' She took some time in coming down. She was meticulously
slow, taking seconds to climb down two steps. It was hard to believe she was seventeen years old! I thought of the possible games both of us could play. I was not in a mood to make mud houses or card palaces. Lexi came near me with a board and a box and sat on the ground.
'Can we play this?' 'What is this?' 'Ludo, my favourite!' q
Last time, I had seen Ella on the terrace on Saturday night. I was hoping to get lucky again. It would be the only opportunity to talk to my beauty with brain. I began going to the terrace almost every night. I wanted to present it as a habit, you know. That way, she would not consider my presence fishy. I would carry along my whiskey sometimes; it was my companion when I wanted to be alone. And even if not Ella, the Mula river rejuvenated me quite a bit.
Finally, like all my plans till date, this one was also a success. Almost around midnight on Saturday, a gorgeous single mom in shorts and t-shirt walked up the stairs to the terrace. It was difficult to believe she had a daughter almost seventeen years old. Her skin defied any rules of age, and
she glowed in the dim light. Moreover, how could she dress in something so modern! We see widows in black dresses, howling themselves to death, and singing those heart-wrenching songs, which could melt even Hitler's heart.
'Hi, sir,' she said ever so softly. 'Hi,' was all I could say.
'You come here every day?'
'Almost. Mostly when I have trouble sleeping.' 'You have a sleeping problem?'
'Not really. It's more like, I love the beautiful view and it feels good to spend time here.'
'Valid point.' She smiled in appreciation and went to the same corner to convey her ritual message. Her short hair waved in the cool, refreshing breeze from the river. Her eyes had widened, trying to catch a greater view. I could assess all this because I was facing in the same direction, though from a different corner. How I wished terraces had just one corner.
I tried to give the impression that I had no interest in her presence. I began walking the length of the terrace, more to grab her attention than anything else. But Ella was silent, looking content with her life. She seemed to be fully engrossed in her conversation with the river. But all that said, I was sure she carried something in her heart. Although I did not have any emotional bonding with her, still her presence was giving me weird butterflies in the stomach. She stood there silently for nearly half an hour. I got bored to death. I could not even see her properly; it was a dark night. Once done with talking to the river, she turned and asked, 'So, you are not drinking today?' She looked at me the same way Lexi did.
'I am not a regular drinker... just rarely.' 'Rare…? Once in a week?' She smiled. She had a good sense of humour.
I had no worries about the topic of conversation. I was only happy that we had managed to break the ice. 'You hate people who drink?'
'No. Even I drink when I am upset.'
I smiled and spoke in my mind, so today you are not ups et . ' A small request ma'am…' 'Don't call me ma'am.'
'Great. So, you can stop calling me sir. Call me Thomas.'
She smiled, 'You are right, Mr Thomas.'
We had some conversation regarding Lexi. We discussed good places to eat and several other mundane things. I had a feeling she was opening up to me. I decided to ask the important question which had been revolving in my mind for such a long time now.
'Ella, could I ask you something personal? I hope you won't get offended.'
She said, 'Yes, please.'
'What happened to your husband?'
'He passed away due to a genetic disorder,' she said in a reflex action.
There were no emotions in her words. No hesitation. No regrets. She must have answered that question hundreds of times. If the same sentence had come up in a movie, it might have given you four songs and a gallon of tears for free! She was sad, I could see. I had surely spoiled her mood. There was silence as we both stared at the river.
'Thomas, can I ask you a personal question?'
I was on cloud hundred! I heard melodious chirping of imaginary birds, pleasant gush of waves. I was dancing internally, wild in hope that she was getting personal with me.
'Yes please…'
'Did you really love Mia?'
Suddenly, all those butterflies in my stomach had a cardiac arrest. It was like she had snapped me into two pieces and threw me back into reality. I regretted ever having met Mia!
'No, Ella. She was just a student.'
'Then why were you asked to leave the school?'
I felt a blankness engulfing me. I regretted coming to the terrace to break the ice with her. The ice had broken on my head! I didn't have anything to say. There was no explanation of what went wrong. And what could I tell her now? If I had come clean earlier on, it would have given me some credibility. I was so shocked that she knew!
I asked her the only question that mattered the most to me, 'How do you know about these school matters?'
She shifted her gaze away from the river to look straight into my eyes, 'My husband was a teacher in your school.'