I don't know how long I sat there.
My legs had gone numb. My hands had dried into something rust-colored and crusted. My thoughts weren't thoughts anymore. Just distant noise in a tunnel that kept folding in on itself.
I wasn't crying. Not exactly.
But my throat aches like I had. My eyes burned. My body wouldn't stop trembling like it forgot how to exist without guilt.
I didn't even look up when the footsteps came.
Too tired.
Too….broken.
Too…
Too everything.
The footsteps stopped inches from me.
And then, I heard a voice, a very familiar one.
Low. Rough. Unsteady.
"...Found you."
My breath was caught. I didn't need to look. I knew it was him.
Commander. Kael.
God help me, I wanted to run.
But I couldn't even move.
He didn't speak right away. Didn't kneel. And didn't touch.
He just stood there. Silent.
Watching.
Waiting.
Like I was a cornered animal and he didn't want to scare me further.
"Everyone's looking for you," he said, softly.
I didn't answer.
He sighed. A long one. Deep in the chest.
"The girl… they said she attacked you."
My fingers twitched. "She didn't."
His head tilted. "She's dead."
"I know."
I paused.
"Did you—?"
I flinched.
"No," I whispered. "She just… She collapsed. She was bleeding already, and I—I caught her too late. I didn't do it."
"I believe you."
Just like that? No doubt. No interrogation? No accusations? He just said it like it was fact.
I looked up at him. Slowly. He looked like hell– if I could even describe him that. His uniform was wrinkled. There was sweat along his collar. His eyes were wild with something he clearly hadn't named yet.
"You've got blood on your face," he murmured.
I nodded. He moved. Finally.
Dropped into a crouch in front of me, and without asking, took out a cloth and reached for me.
I flinched again, barely– But his hands paused.
He met my eyes. "May I?"
I nodded. And he wiped it away.
Gently. Carefully. Reverently.
Like I was a holy thing.
"Why are you here?" I whispered, voice hoarse.
His eyes didn't leave mine.
"Because the thought of you alone, covered in blood, broke something in me."
I stopped breathing.
He continued.
"I searched every goddamned room. Questioned every servant. Threatened a guard or two. Because when I saw you were gone, and she was dead…"
"I thought I'd lost you too."
I wanted to scream.
To cry.
To hide.
But I didn't do any of that.
I just stared. At him.
At the rawness behind his usual walls. The way his voice trembled under its usual steel. The way he kept wiping at my cheek like he couldn't stop himself from touching.
"You look like you need to be held," he murmured, quieter now.
I blinked at him. And for the first time since the girl's body went limp—
I nodded.
And Kael…
He pulled me in. Strong arms. Steady grip. A hand behind my head.
He held me like he had always meant to. Like he had been waiting to.
And I—
I let him. I let him hold me like I wouldn't break.
And for the first time since this damn transmigration began,
I actually believed I wouldn't.