Tsunade's breathing turned sharp and heavy, her temples twitching like they were on a timer set to explode.
Noticing this, Senju Nawaki and Shinku Yūhi quickly jumped in like firefighters seeing smoke.
"Sister, calm down! He's just a kid!"
"Lady Tsunade, please—he's only five! Not worth rupturing a vein over!"
Even Kato Dan gave it a shot.
"Tsunade, children do dumb things. That's literally in the job description."
Of course, Kato Dan's words were smoother, his tone gentler. Jiraiya's brow twitched.
Great. Looks like even Dan's trying to score points while I get punched across streets.
Tsunade, ever the picture of deadly grace, chuckled softly. "Angry? Me? Please, I wouldn't get mad at a little boy."
Everyone sighed in relief.
Then, without warning, she yoinked Guts into the air by his collar like a sack of potatoes.
"Since today's your entrance exam for the academy, how about a special crash course? Just a little warm-up with your senior."
Her smile was sweet.
The kind of sweet that precedes a dental appointment... or a funeral.
Everyone froze. Even Jiraiya took a step back. They could already hear the upcoming bone cracks in surround sound.
Seconds passed.
Still no reaction from Guts.
Was he... too scared to move?
Wait—nope.
Fwhhhhhh...
A soft snore echoed.
He was asleep.
Mid-air.
Held by the collar.
Like a kitten.
Even Tsunade blinked.
"…Is he for real?"
Jiraiya leaned forward. "He's got to be faking. No kid sleeps through Tsunade's killer aura."
Kurenai and Nawaki looked equally stunned. But no, he wasn't faking.
He was snoring.
Instinctively, Guts' nasal bubble popped with a soft plop, and his slightly snotty nose brushed twice against something right in front of him… something warm, soft, and pleasantly scented.
What's going on…?
And what is this heavenly thing touching my face? So soft… so comfy…
Dead silence blanketed the scene.
Jiraiya stood frozen, eyes twitching.
'God among men'—those were the only words that came to mind.
Anything else just wouldn't do this madness justice.
After that Jiraiya's soul left his body.
Kato Dan's face went from human to charcoal.
Tsunade didn't speak.
Didn't twitch.
Her face was calm.
Too calm.
Then—
Boom.
She vanished.
Empty Street — Outside the Rotisserie
The place was deserted. Only dust and distant birds dared make noise.
She threw Guts forward like a javelin.
He spun in the air and landed on his feet like a cat, adjusting his collar as if brushing off lint.
Jiraiya's jaw cracked open. "Okay, what the hell?"
Tsunade cracked her knuckles. "Listen, brat. I'll use one finger. Just one. If you can make me use a second, I'll drop the grudge. Deal?"
Guts blinked innocently. "Grudge? Did something happen?"
Everyone around silently winced.
Jiraiya whispered to Nawaki, "Either he's got balls of steel... or zero brain cells."
Tsunade's smile twitched.
She couldn't exactly yell "YOU USED MY CHEST AS A PILLOW" in front of everyone.
She raised a finger.
"You ready?"
Guts squinted. "Wait! Your brother—something's wrong with him!"
Tsunade turned in panic, eyes darting toward Nawaki. "What? What happened?!"
In an instant, Tsunade—whose brother complex could rival her medical skills—snapped her head toward Nawaki, eyes wide with concern.
"Nawaki?!"
But the boy just stood there, blinking like a confused deer in daylight.
"Huh? What'd I do?"
"Idiot—in front of you."
Orochimaru's voice cut through the air like a scalpel, cold and sharp.
Bad move.
Too late.
He was already airborne, spinning like a buzzsaw.
"Leaf Strong Whirlwind!"
BOOM!
A shockwave exploded outward as Tsunade parried the strike—barely—in time. The street shook, leaves flew everywhere, and Guts landed in a crouch, grinning.
Everyone around was stunned—Jiraiya, Orochimaru, Dan, Nawaki. Their jaws practically hit the floor.
Where did a five-year-old get this kind of power?!
"Oops," he said innocently. "Pretty sure that was more than one finger, senior Tsunade."
[Achievement Unlocked: "Tsunade's Lessons" — Template Character: Monkey D. Garp — Completion: 10.71% — Skill Activated: Navy Six Styles · Tekkai]
Inside, Guts grinned.
If I keep this up, I'll hit 100% in no time.
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