Fear mixed with the oxygen I breathed in, sinking deep into my lungs. Living was a constant battle. I guess... I had lost that battle years ago. I wasn't really alive, but I wasn't dead either. Have you ever heard the phrase "feeling like a nobody"?
If you haven't, lucky you... Unfortunately, it wasn't the same for me. I am Severus Snape's daughter... Lily Snape.
Yes, my father named me after the woman whose name he could never forget and whose mention still makes his eyes light up. He never wanted my mother. My mother, Ivy Greengrass, and he were forced to marry. And she didn't love him either. As tragic as it sounds, she had a political crush on James Potter...
Neither my mother nor my father ever showed me anything other than what they wanted to take from me.
Things weren't any better at Hogwarts. Because I was sorted into Gryffindor, I was ostracized by the other Death Eaters' children. I had no friends.
Every day brought a new prank, a new form of bullying...
I think the only ones who cared were our house professor McGonagall and the headmaster Albus Dumbledore. Or at least I thought so. I really didn't know. Both treated me kindly. Whenever I was sad, Professor McGonagall would find me and somehow make me laugh. Professor Dumbledore said I could come to his office anytime and tinker with his strange artifacts.
I didn't look back at my room one last time because it wasn't filled with happy memories. After checking my trunk for the last time, I slipped my wand into the inside pocket of my robe. One of our house elves carried my trunk to the car that would take us to the train station. I got into the car.
My mother didn't bother to say goodbye. My father was only dropping me off at Platform Nine and Three-Quarters because he had to be at school as the Potions professor. He would get there by his own means afterward.
I never saw him on the Hogwarts Express. Neither did the upper years. I heard from Angelina Johnson talking with her friends. They said my father didn't board the train because of his arrogance.
To be honest, I thought so too at first... because he didn't even see me off at the magical barrier that keeps out muggles on Platform Nine and Three-Quarters.
Before getting out of the car, my father did something unexpected. "Don't get into trouble this year, Lily. Azkaban Dementors will be guarding the school." His voice was emotionless but warning. His gaze, as always, lacked any kindness.
I watched him load my trunk onto a handcart without saying a word. As he pushed it away from me, I thought, "As if he cares." Because right now, I felt him wandering the corridors of my mind. After all, I am his daughter(!) I had learned a bit of Legilimency.
Passing through the magical barrier, I handed my trunk over to the responsible house elves. There was no empty compartment... as usual, I started looking for one where I would be bullied by different people.
But this time my luck was really bad. Except for the compartment where the Golden Trio and that weird guy were sitting, every seat was full.
Helpless, I hung my head and took a seat away from everyone. I curled my legs close to my body. Wrapping my arms around my knees, I rested my head on them.
I closed my eyes and wished no one would bother me. A wish couldn't have been granted so quickly.
When Weasley said, "Hey, what's wrong with this girl?" I suddenly opened my eyes. Here we go. The great Potter was about to pretend to care by playing the hero. "Are you okay, Snape?" he said, placing his hand on my shoulder.
What a ridiculous question. Of course, I wasn't okay. My mother was in love with Harry's father. My father was in love with Harry's mother. And now the child of the people my parents never got to be with was being asked if she was okay!
"I'm fine. I'm about to go mad with happiness, Potter(!)" I said, deliberately mocking his last name.
Before he could open his mouth again, that Granger acted like a hero and shut up the silly show-off Potter.
Silence fell over the compartment for a long time. During that time, I started studying the man sitting across from me, who looked like a pile of clothes. The bag he held tightly had "Lupin" written on it.
He was probably our new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Well, the last one went crazy, so I guess this one wanted to be a professor this year. Very clever(!)
My thoughts were interrupted by the sudden chill in the air. The window had frosted over. I started feeling it... like I would never be happy! Dementors! They were coming onto this train and would search for that Sirius Black guy.
I had to act fast. The lights began flickering. The professor definitely wouldn't wake up. And I had no happy memory to summon a Patronus.
I had to use the smartest person here. While the Golden Trio was arguing about what to do, I cut in. "Look. Stay calm, but Dementors have boarded the train. Granger, I know you don't trust me, but one of us needs to cast a Patronus!"
"Why don't you do it, Snape? Didn't your father teach you?" said Ron with that dumb comment.
I replied, "Do you want your soul sucked out and your body left like fruit peel, Weasley? Of course not! Then let me explain it to Granger!"
When Weasley shut his mouth, I turned to Granger. "Take out your wand and think of your happiest moment. It has to be a moment so happy that nothing else in life could ever top it. Then say these words: 'Expecto Patronum.'"
Granger took a deep breath and managed to focus. Then, barely audible, she spoke the two words that would protect our souls. "Expecto Patronum."
The compartment was filled with a shapeless silvery light.
"Don't stop, Granger. They're coming this way!" I warned. She took my warning seriously, gripping her wand tighter and focusing harder.
When the lights came back on, I told her she could stop. Exhausted, she slumped back in her seat. I immediately handed her a large chocolate. "Don't worry. It's not poison. It'll release happiness hormones and help you regain your strength."
Granger hesitated but took the chocolate and started eating. After this event, a slow-growing trust began to develop between us.