He didn't want to feel. She didn't want to break again. So of course, they were doomed.
——-
Alexander's POV
I stepped out of the car, just as Lily disappeared through the front door like a ghost I couldn't stop chasing. Always slipping out of reach.
No hesitation. No glance back.
She was too graceful, too soft for a world like mine. And I hated that I noticed.
I hated her.
Or maybe I hated what she made me feel things I'd buried so deep, I thought were dead. Things I didn't want back. Things I didn't deserve.
I shouldn't be here but my father had summoned me with his usual cryptic tone, which was too smooth, too pleased. Which meant this wasn't just business.
It was a trap. It always is.
Inside, the house was pristine, hollow. White walls, sterile decor, everything too clean. The kind of place where nothing real could grow.
Then I saw her.
She stood in the living room, still, pale, and visibly shaken. Her eyes found mine, and for a heartbeat, everything else faded.
Shock flickered across her face. Or maybe fear.
Maybe something else.
She always looked at me like she was on the edge of saying something but never did. Like she knew parts of me I tried to keep buried.
Some days I swore she felt something.
Other days, I convinced myself I was imagining it. That I wanted it too badly, so I invented it in my head.
I'd been stupid once before.
***
Years ago.
My mother dragged me to a picnic with her insufferable friends. I escaped, I needed air, needed space. I wandered too far and found her.
Barefoot in the garden. Hidden behind a hedge. She looked like a secret trying not to be seen.
She was brushing dirt from a crushed daisy, holding it like it mattered.
Then she smiled at it.
That smile…
God. It was the purest thing I'd ever seen.
She didn't see me. And I didn't let her. I slipped away before I could ruin it. Before I could feel something real.
I told myself it meant nothing.
Until now.
Until I saw her again, and wondered if she ever smiled like that anymore.
***
"Father," I said flatly, dragging myself back to the present.
He rose from the couch with a grin that set my teeth on edge. His handshake was firm, too firm. I hated how pleased he looked.
"Now that my son is here," He announced."Lily, meet your fiancé. You're getting married in a few weeks."
Silence.
My stomach dropped.
Lily and I spoke at the same time. "What?!"
His grin widened like he'd just pulled off the perfect checkmate.
This wasn't a proposal. It was a sentence.
I looked at Lily, searching her face. I needed to know where she stood in all this.
She looked like someone had pulled the floor out from beneath her. Her hands shook just slightly. Lips parted but no sound came out.
Was it really that awful to be married to me?
Was she scared of me?
God, I almost hoped so. It'd be easier if she hated me.
But then… she always looked at me like she didn't know how to hate me. Like she wanted to, but something in her wouldn't let her.
Did she ever feel the pull I did?
That ache in the chest that made no damn sense?
A part of me hoped she did.
Another part prayed she didn't.
Because if she did, if she felt anything, it would only hurt her. And I'd be the reason.
"This is insane," I muttered, but before I could say more—
"Don't worry," A voice broke through from behind her. Her brother, Chase. Smug. Slimy. Worthless. "She'll go through with it."
Lily flinched. Barely, but I saw it.
And something in me cracked.
He leaned against the wall like he owned the room, and I wanted to put him through it.
"She should be grateful for this amazing offer." he added, sneering at her like she was a burden.
Grateful?
For what?, For being sold?, Being thrown to a man she didn't choose?.
I looked at him and I already saw his blood on my hands. He didn't flinch. Cowards never do when they think they're safe.
But he wasn't.
Not from me.
I'd make him regret every word. Every bruise she hid. Every time she stayed silent when she should've screamed.
I'd imagined it before, dragging him to a basement, slicing him open inch by inch. Letting him scream into a mouth full of blood. Letting him beg the way she probably never had the chance to.
"I expect everyone at the office tomorrow," My Father said with a proud expression like we'd just closed a deal. "We'll get the paperwork finalized."
He shook hands with Chase and Lily's father. Like she was already signed away. Like she wasn't even in the room.
Whatever this was, it reeked. And my father knew exactly how much it would ruin me.
To him, this was a win.
To me, it wasn't over.
Not yet.
***
Outside, rage pulsed in my chest like a second heartbeat.
"What the hell is this?" I demanded.
He didn't stop walking. "Watch your tone."
"You made this arrangement without even asking me?"
"I did what was necessary," he said coldly. "And don't forget who you are. Who made you."
"I owe you nothing" I hissed. "Everything I am, I had to claw for. You built the cage, I broke out of it."
"This is an opportunity," he said, faking concern. "A clean slate. Maybe even love, if you let it."
Love?
And just like that, the memory slammed into me again uninvited.
Young, too young. Cold marble floor beneath my knees. Blood in my mouth. The sound of leather slapping skin.
"Weakness is love. And love gets you killed."
I didn't cry. Not then. Not when he made me watch what happened to people who cared too much.
He broke me young so I'd never think to feel anything, not even something beautiful like Love.
"There's no room for softness in this world, Alexander. There's no room for her."
Even now, I heard those words like a knife behind my ribs.
And I believed them.
Because if I didn't, I'd reach for Lily.
And if I reached, I wouldn't let go.
And if she let me?
God help us both.
***
I slid into the car, jaw clenched. Thoughts tearing through me like wildfire.
I was still lost, still wanting her more than I should.
She didn't belong in this world. Not mine. Not his. Not any of it. And I knew, if she ever looked at me like I was good, like I was worth it, I'd destroy every rotten part of myself to deserve her.
But I wasn't there.
And she'd see that soon enough.
So I'd lie. I'd push her away. I'd wear the monster's mask.
Because it was safer for her to hate me than to love me.
Because if she loved me... she wouldn't survive it.
And neither would I.