POV - Alpha Carlisle
I never really expected to see Kyas alive again, but when I played with the idea in my mind, I imagined a sweet little boy and all the father/son moments we would have to atone for me losing him.
In truth, many of those moments HAD played out during my nights with his "ghost". I can't believe I was that easily fooled. I guess I so desperately wanted my son back, I accepted it on any terms, afraid to question this gift.
His Reasons, though. They weren't stupid, from a child's perspective. Goddess knows they had every reason to suspect I would do exactly what they were afraid of. He called it mercy for Elias. It totally was. Elias benefited so much from that promise. We HAD forged the relationship that we both had needed. It's a strong one.
What's bothering me now was how much Kyas gave up, and how little Elias did. And HOW Kyas could be THAT selfless. I'm torn between How Kyas could lie to me, and Ruby, for five years, and Why he did it.
Here we were, silent in my office, me in my seat and him in front of my desk.
I tapped my pen on my desk.
"Kyas? Was any of it real? Was it all lies?" I asked.
He sighed. "There were some lies, but most of it was real. Ghost was a lie. The witch was a lie of hers and my making. She was tricking you, obviously, I was never dead, but I did use her death to make the physical ghost sent by the Moon Goddess sound real. But, I loved every hug, kiss, and snuggle I stole for twelve hours with you."
He kept his eyes on the floor.
"Did you ever think of Asking me Kyas? You or Elias?" I asked.
"Actually, I did. I wanted to make sure that, if maybe you wouldn't choose wrong, that maybe we could just tell you. I was even trying to figure out how." He said.
I looked at him, confused. "Then WHY didn't you? What HAPPENED!?"
He jumped when I shouted.
"You did." He said quietly.
"What?" I said, surprised at his answer.
"You came in after the pack run, and completely flipped out because Chaos was in my bed. Only, it wasn't him under the blanket, it was me." He said.
I sat back, stunned.
"Then you made up with Elias, and hugged him and I felt just a little bit of his anger and resentment ease. He needed you, Papa, and neither one of you were ready for me yet." He said.
I leaned forward. "Kyas, don't you have any regard for what YOU need? You're about to be royally punished for doing this, and you didn't get a thing out of it."
He snapped his head up. " What?? Yes I did!"
I couldn't imagine. "What did you get?"
He actually smiled. "I got a brother and a twin bond. I got a father for twelve hours that tickled me, and held me close and made me feel safe and warm. One that laughed and told me stories. I got a mother too, later. Through Chaos I got a soft place to sleep instead of under the table. I got food twice a day - real food, even for a dog. I got to help Ember by taking her a lunch every day, and I got to go to school and learn ABC's and math and so much!"
I was floored. So many small things and the kid is lit up like a Christmas tree. He stepped forward, and raised his hands wide. "Papa, all that isn't even the Best part!"
"What's the best part?" I asked, staring at him.
"The BONDS Papa! One day, you went out to help Jesse with his lawn mower, and his bond went from gray to green. You asked Janet how Elsie was and hers turned yellow with pride. Elias' turned from black to almost as blue as mine! Mama's is pink. And those are just Yours! Because you fixed Jesse's lawn mower, he took it over and mowed Mrs. Cinder's lawn too. Janet took Elsie over to Tammy's house and let her play with Michael. There are so many colors now, Papa, it's like a rainbow, but when I got here...there was no color at all."
He got a solemn look on his face. "But I shouldn't have lied to you to fix them."
"Kyas, how many people in this pack do you know by name?" I asked. I had no idea who most of the names he said were.
He shrugged. "All of them. And their wolves."
I sat back. He should be an Alpha, like me, but good Goddess, he's a natural born Gamma. He said earlier that he could see what I had done to the pack bonds, but he wasn't being figurative, he actually meant it.
A wolf pack functions best when its wolves are in harmony with each other. The Alpha is the law, the arbitrator of justice, the ultimate authority. The Beta, the second in command, the ambassador for the Alpha. The Beta needs to know what's going outside the pack, how his pack is interacting within the world around them. The Deltas are the guards, responsible for the safety of the pack.
The Gamma monitors conditions within the pack. He does exactly what Kyas described, he checks the bonds that the pack has within it. Makes sure they are healthy and well connected, identifies problems in those bonds that could disrupt the harmony of the pack and brings them to the Alpha if he can't fix them himself.
Many Gammas are chosen due to close ties with the Alpha. Either they served the previous Alpha well and are kept on, or they were close to the new Alpha through family or friend connections. A lot of Gammas have to be taught their job. They need formal training in how to recognize good connections and bad, generally from external cues. They don't see them like true Gammas do, like Kyas does. An interconnected ball of rainbow colored string.
True Gammas are out there, but many operate behind the scenes, their natural rank given to someone else for other reasons, but their job is as natural as breathing to them. Ranked or not, they'll try to ease tensions, problem solve, mitigate, and compromise to keep the harmony within the pack. They are masters of interpersonal relationships.
The issue with true Gammas though is that they can easily become prey for others. A Gamma not taught proper boundaries will completely give their heart and soul to the pack. These wolves will literally die for their pack, no questions asked. They'll kill for it too. True Gammas need to be able to find a balance between pack and self, develop the ability to step back sometimes, and focus on what they need independently from the pack.
I'm not sure Kyas can do that.
"Kyas, what about Your bonds? What color are they?" I asked, curious.
He was startled. "Mine?"
"Yes, yours." I repeated.
"Well, the one for Chaos is gold, Elias is blue, Ethos is a different shade of blue. Yours and Mama's usually stay a good green, but they're orange now. But Chaos has lots of good colors." He said.
"Kyas, that's the point I'm trying to make. Me, Elias, your mother, the whole pack, got all these bonds, and you got four. Why are you ok with that?" I asked, truely puzzled.
He shrugged. "When you start with nothing, everything is something."
I realized then that in five years of this kid being in my bedroom every full moon, I had never actually gotten to know him. He came to give me what I needed and soaked up every scrap of attention and satisfied himself with that because it was better than nothing.
An idea started forming in my head, for both of my sons.
"I have to go now, Papa." he said.
"Ok, I'll talk to you tomorrow if I need something from you." I replied.
The look on his face was priceless. "I told you, Kyas, you're part of the pack now. There's no retreating until the full moon any more. No hiding. You may be bound... but you're NOT DEAD. "
He shifted into Chaos again. I stretched and yawned. " Well, that's it for me, time for bed." I got up and walked out of the office leaving the door open. Two steps later, I heard Chaos yelp as he tried to leave the room against my command.
"Get some sleep Chaos. You're going to need it." I said over my shoulder.