Chapter 55: Crying Out, Then...
'It's all over.'
That thought suddenly popped into his mind.
Lying on the bed, Subaru covered his eyes with his hand as tears slowly trickled down.
Even he wasn't sure if they were tears of regret—or of joy.
Thinking back now, he should have realized the possibility of betrayal much sooner: from Reinhild returning earlier than expected, to how smoothly the magic ore was collected, to how Leander and the others never left the mansion, even back when he made the contract with Roswaal... he should have known.
Why did it take him so long to realize?
Maybe it was because he'd been so focused on gaining favor... maybe six loops had ingrained in him the subconscious sense that this was just a game, or maybe—
"Whatever. It's all over now anyway."
Subaru stopped thinking.
He ran away from the truth.
He didn't want to face it.
Because as he had said, what he did had doomed him to be alienated by everyone in the mansion.
There was no longer any way to resolve the events of the seventh day.
When this loop ended, he would just escape this hell.
So why should he expose his own shame now?
Knock knock knock~~~
"I didn't expect that you would personally come here... but there's no need to ask. Today's commotion with Setia was caused by me."
Reinhild's reaction was unexpected.
Her eyes, as she looked at Subaru, held only sorrow and guilt.
'This is bad.'
A warning blared in his gut.
She was the one person he didn't want to notice anything.
"You're really quiet, Reinhild. What's up with you? If silence this beautiful was a work of art, I'd want to take it and decorate a corner of my room with it... but if I really did that, I'd probably get beheaded, wouldn't I?"
"Pretending doesn't work on me. And a smiling face with tear streaks is just too fake."
A heavy silence filled the room.
Finally, Subaru's bluff crumbled.
The mask of a smile on his face melted away, replaced by the weak expression of a child waiting to be scolded by their parents.
He tried to say something multiple times, but couldn't find the words.
That frustration built up inside him.
Meanwhile, Reinhild silently pulled a chair over and sat by his bed.
"Then sleep for a bit, Subaru. You're in no shape to talk right now. We'll talk when you wake up. I'll stay here and read."
In that moment, the girl before him overlapped with the Reinhild from the fourth loop. Subaru's heart wavered.
Only when he saw her puzzled expression did he snap back to reality.
"What, planning to interrogate me after I've had some rest?
Actually, exhausted suspects are easier to get confessions from—you see it on TV all the time, right? Cops doing fatigue questioning.
Or do I look like some weakling with a legendary frail constitution...?"
"I was the one who put out the request to the mercenaries."
Reinhild cut him off with a serious gaze.
"What are you saying? Do you think I'll just accept it like that? That... Rein-chan was the one doing it? I decided to do it on my own, none of you knew anything... wait, why are we even discussing this..."
Subaru tried to deny her words with growing agitation.
"I should've been more alert about the Witch Cult.
I should've noticed you might be dealing with this kind of thing.
It was my negligence that made you afraid, made you seek out mercenaries.
So this time, the responsibility is mine."
From her tone, her eyes, her actions—Subaru realized she was serious.
She truly believed it was her fault.
"Tired?"
"Eh, not really. My body's fine. Just one cup of coffee and I'd be—"
Trying to act tough, Subaru waved it off.
But Reinhild ignored his words, gently pushed him back onto the bed, and pulled the blanket over him.
"Your dark circles are terrible. Sleep."
Subaru stared blankly at Reinhild as she opened a book beside him.
That unparalleled sense of safety surged back into his heart.
"Am I bothering you?"
"No... just scared. Really scared."
He quickly averted his gaze and whispered.
Yet Reinhild slowly leaned her face in closer to his.
"It's been so hard, hasn't it? So painful, hasn't it?"
She said it gently. With compassion. With sorrow.
Just those two sentences—and Subaru's long-held emotions, dammed up inside, burst like a broken reservoir.
Everything he'd been holding in came pouring out at once.
He thought he had sealed it away.
Thought he'd never speak of it again.
But in this most beloved atmosphere, in front of the person he liked the most—the chains on his heart shattered piece by piece.
"It's been... so hard. So unbelievably painful.
Those wounds were terrifying.
Those expressions haunted me. I couldn't do anything.
I tried so hard to think, but I couldn't find a single path to success.
The wounds that disappeared still hurt. The sincerity I poured out... still remains...!"
"Mm."
"I tried so hard. I fought with the resolve to die. I really did... I tried everything. In this awful hell, I kept pushing myself, over and over!"
"Yeah. I know."
"I love this place... because it's important to me.
Just because it's this place...! That's why I desperately tried to bring peace back.
I was scared.
So scared... seeing those faces, seeing how powerless I was... but no one would believe me.
I couldn't even tell them the reason.
So I had to do it myself.
I had to make myself hated.
Even though I didn't want to be... ugh."
He couldn't control his emotions.
Like a dam breaking, his tears wouldn't stop.
His nose started running.
Some strange liquid spilled from his mouth.
His sobs turned into awful, broken cries.
Reinhild hesitated for a moment.
Then she gently reached out and caressed Subaru's cheek.
Pathetic. Weak. A grown man crying his eyes out in front of a girl, getting his head patted.
He was so embarrassed he wanted to die.
The thought of dying even crossed his mind.
But the warmth he felt filled the emptiness in his heart.
As Subaru sobbed out his pain, Reinhild responded with quiet kindness:
"I see. There's a reason you can't tell me.
That's fine. Then just tell me what you need me to do.
Leave the rest to us... to me. I swear on my sword—I'll help you bring peace back."
Subaru knew that the fragments of his experience hadn't been conveyed to her.
She didn't understand the true source of his despair.
Maybe she just wanted to help someone in trouble.
Even so, Reinhild's voice carried a weight that couldn't be dismissed.
Subaru deeply felt it—he was being saved by that clueless, earnest kindness.
Tears kept falling. Subaru cried and cried in front of Reinhild.
Eventually, the wretched sounds of his crying faded into the distance, and soft, peaceful snores began to echo through the room.