"Not now," I whispered, my heart pounding like a bird stuck in a net.
I pinched my stomach, which made the nausea curl up in waves. It wasn't simply the fact that I missed my period; it was what it may mean.
I told myself, "Get it together," but the tight coil of worry wouldn't let go.
In the silence, the hum of the city sounded distant, almost surreal. I grabbed my coat and fumbled with the door handle, as if getting away would make the dread go away.
The pharmacy was clean and bright, and the aisles were full of promises and warnings. I held the package tightly, my hands shaking. I said, "One test." "Just one."
The clerk at the counter hardly looked up. He smiled knowingly and asked, "Rough day?"
I was able to give a feeble nod and look toward the door. The box felt heavier than it should have.
The chilly air outside bit at my cheeks, while the metropolis rushed by without a care. My fingers brushed the test, and every muscle in my body tightened with anticipation.
I locked the door behind me at home, and my heart beat louder than the silence.
I held the pregnancy test tightly, my fingers shaking like a leaf in a storm. I couldn't breathe; the silence around me was thin and delicate.
As I looked down at the small window, seconds seemed to last forever. Two lines, thin, clear, and pink, were etched in.
I felt a tremendous jolt, a mix of disbelief and the beginning of reality. Before I could stop them, my knees hit the floor. The cool tile pressed against my skin and kept me grounded in the commotion.
"I am pregnant," I mumbled, and the words seemed strange coming from my mouth, like a secret I wasn't sure I was ready to embrace.
Fear came in first, cold and unending. How? Why now? I believed I was constructing a life, then it suddenly fell apart.
But underneath the anxiety, a weak hope began to grow, shaking and unsure.
Could I do this by myself?
The weight of the occasion was heavy and hard to breathe.
I barely recognized the woman in the bathroom mirror. Her eyes were wide as she looked for answers in the reflection.
My heart raced so fast that I couldn't think straight.
I sank back and closed my eyes, hoping the world would slow down so I could breathe.
Memories came rushing back, mistakes made, doubts whispered, and aspirations put on hold.
What would Callum say? Would he even care?
The walls felt like they were closing in, and the silence was heavy.
I reached out and grabbed the sink, my knuckles turning white as I fought to stay still.
One breath. Two breaths.
Finally, I stood up, my legs shaking but my mind set.
I knew I couldn't turn away, no matter what came next.
Not anymore.
My heart was thumping against my ribs like a warning drum as I hovered over the phone. Callum's name lit up the screen, a lifeline wrapped in doubt. I gulped hard and hit the call button.
"Hey?" His voice sounded far away and careful.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. "It's me." I,
The call ended.
I glanced at the computer, and amazement mixed with a terrible, empty pain.
I tried again. Once. Two times. No response. No sound. Just a chilling quiet.
"Callum," I said, my voice full of desperation. "Please."
The room felt emptier with each unanswered ring. The walls closed in, and I felt the heaviness of being alone deep inside me.
My thumb hovered over his name again, shaking as I pressed it a third time.
"Where are you?" I took a breath, but the phone just sat there and teased me.
I leaned against the wall, my breath unsteady and my mind racing.
What did I think would happen? That he would be there? Are you ready to do this with me?
I made fists with my hands. Outside, the city went on with its business, not caring about the storm in this small space.
The worry ate away at me. What if this changed everything? What if it made him run away?
But there was a tenacious ember of hope behind the panic. He might come back, just maybe.
The screen lit up again. This time, it was a missed call from a number they didn't know.
My heart raced and then sank.
I wasn't ready for this to end. Not without a struggle.
So I gave it another shot.
And once more.
Until my fingers hurt and the quiet was too much to bear.
I looked at my phone and hoped it would ring, buzz, or flash with a message from him. Callum. The man who disappeared like smoke exactly when I needed him the most. But the screen wouldn't budge.
"Did you have any luck?" I asked Melissa for the third time that night as I walked around my small flat. The walls felt like they were closing in, and the noise from the city was only a distant hum.
She shook her head and closed her eyes. "Juniper, no one has said anything. He seemed to have vanished.
Gone. The term rang in my head, worse than I thought it would. A billionaire hotel tycoon who was both feared and adored lost to me like a ghost.
I sat down on the worn edge of the couch, my fingers twitching with anger. I called Callum again, then his assistant, and then a business acquaintance. There was no answer at the end of each call. A deadline. An empty space.
Then my phone buzzed loudly, waking me up. An alert for a voicemail.
I tapped the screen, and a voice filled the quiet room, making me catch my breath. Deep, low, and important.
"Juniper..."
No more. Just one word, full with meaning and mystery.
I held the phone tighter, my pulse racing with a mix of fear and hope. Who sent that message? Was it him? Or someone else is telling me to be careful? Are you threatening me?
The quiet that followed was so loud that it swallowed every question I dared to ask.
I ran my shaking hands through my hair and looked quickly at the dark window. The metropolis was big and expansive, and it didn't care.
The screen displayed Callum's name again, but this time I didn't want to respond.
I didn't know if I wanted to hear the truth. Or the quiet that might come after that.
I sat on the side of the bed, the weight of the night bearing down on me, and my hands resting lightly on my tummy. It was too much to keep a secret all at once when a tiny life was growing inside me.
My phone was next to me, with the screen glowing faintly. Callum's name came up out of nowhere, like a flash in the dark. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. Was this the time when everything changed?
I thought about it for a second, my fingers shaking over the screen. Could I manage what I was going to say? Could I confront the man who left when I needed him the most?
The fear sprang up, but behind it, a strong strand of willpower took hold. This child needed more than just being quiet and not being there. Had a right to a chance.
I said softly to the quiet chamber, "I'm doing this." For us.
Memories came and went, moments of warmth, bursts of pain, and the crazy night that altered everything. The city lights came through the window and made delicate shadows that danced on the walls, making it hard to tell where optimism ended and doubt began.
I took a deep breath and put the phone to my ear, getting ready for whatever came next. The line clicked, and my heart raced in the area between the rings.
"Hi?" His voice sounded far away, careful, but real.
"I am here," I said, my voice firm even though I was scared.
There was silence, and then a faint sigh, as if he were getting ready.
Finally, he remarked, "We need to talk."
And with those words, the thin thread that held us together became tight, ready to break or hold us together.
The night waited, full of things that needed to be said and the possibility of what might happen.