Chapter 29: How to Spot a Magical Cat and Win Her Over with Snark
(In Which Ren Talks to a Cat and Somehow Gets a Nickname Approved)
At eight at night, the streets were quiet enough to make me suspicious.
Not Veiled Moon Sect assassination mission quiet, obviously. Nobody was lurking on rooftops with poisoned daggers.
Probably.
Just normal Earth quiet.
Streetlamps flickered every few houses, warm light glowed behind curtained windows, and the whole neighborhood had that peaceful feeling that made it easy to forget about delinquent wars, Berserker training sessions, and the fact that Tōma had nearly destroyed one of Red Dawn's microwaves earlier trying to make instant curry.
Haruki had already left.
Something about strict parents, being home before dark, and not wanting to explain why he smelled like sweat, arcade food, and poor decisions.
Understandable.
So I walked alone, hands in my pockets, thoughts drifting somewhere between my next fight with Hephaestus and wondering what Reina's hair would look like in a ponytail.
Important tactical matters.
Then I saw it.
A black cat.
Sitting directly in the middle of the sidewalk.
Staring at me.
Not normal cat staring either.
This cat was looking at me like it had personally examined every bad decision I'd made in the last month and found them mildly entertaining.
Most people probably would've gone:
Aww, kitty!
I stopped.
Squinted.
The cat stared back.
I tilted my head.
The cat tilted hers.
"…That's an amateur disguise."
Her ears twitched.
I pointed.
"You might want to work on the staring."
The cat blinked.
Slowly.
The kind of blink that somehow managed to communicate:
Excuse me?
I crouched.
"You're watching me."
Nothing.
"Normal cats don't sit in the middle of a road studying someone's footwork."
Her tail flicked.
Got you.
I scooped her up before she could decide whether running would make her look guilty.
The cat stiffened in my arms.
"I'm talking to you," I said. "Why are you observing me?"
She stared straight into my eyes.
For several seconds.
Then—
"Oh, you're annoying."
I almost dropped her.
Not because she talked.
Okay.
Maybe five percent because she talked.
Mostly because she sounded offended that I'd figured it out.
"There we go."
I held her up.
"Talking cat."
"Put me down."
"No."
Her eye twitched.
"You have exactly three seconds."
"Do you explode?"
"What?"
"Breathe fire?"
"No."
"Turn into a giant tiger?"
"…Maybe."
I immediately lowered her.
"Reasonable precaution."
She remained in my arms anyway.
Apparently threatening me had exhausted her motivation to escape.
Her name, I would soon learn, was Kuroha.
What I didn't know was that she'd been snooping around the city for a while after noticing the presence of some powerful supernatural beings.
And lately?
I had caught her attention too.
Not because Kaito Hoshino's body possessed some enormous magical aura.
Quite the opposite.
No active Mana use.
No trained Earth-style Ki circulation.
Nothing that should have explained why this supposedly ordinary teenage boy moved like someone who had spent years fighting for his life.
And yet I kept noticing things I shouldn't.
Reacting to things I shouldn't.
And apparently identifying magical cats who were supposed to be inconspicuous.
She found that interesting.
I found her fluffy.
We both had our priorities.
"How did you know?" she finally asked, tail flicking irritably.
"Your eyes."
"My eyes?"
"Cats don't usually look at people like they owe them money."
She stared.
I raised her slightly.
It suddenly occurred to me that I was basically holding her like that lion cub from an Earth movie Hana had forced me to watch.
"So."
I looked directly into her face.
"What are you?"
"Put me down first."
"No."
"Why?"
"Because you'll run."
"I won't."
"That's exactly what someone planning to run would say."
"You're very irritating."
"I've been told."
She sighed.
Then, to my surprise, relaxed completely in my arms.
"I'm a magical cat."
I waited.
She waited.
"…That's it?"
"What did you expect?"
"Something dramatic."
She rolled her eyes.
"Fine. My kind can use magic and change our forms."
That was more interesting.
"How?"
"Magic."
"Yes, I understood that part."
"Then why did you ask?"
"I meant the structure."
She blinked.
"Structure?"
"How does the transformation work? Does your body physically change? Is it an illusion? Are you compressing mass? Where does the excess go? Is it maintained continuously through Mana?"
Kuroha stared at me.
I stared back.
"…You're weird."
"So everyone keeps telling me."
"You don't even use Mana."
"Currently."
That got another look.
I shrugged.
"I wasn't asking because I wanted to copy you. I'm curious."
"Huh."
She stretched.
Then started climbing.
"Hey."
One paw landed on my shoulder.
"Where are you—"
Then another.
And suddenly the magical cat was sitting on my head.
I stopped walking.
"…Seriously?"
She curled around the top of my skull like she'd paid rent.
"Yes."
"You have the entire planet."
"I prefer this spot."
"My dignity objects."
"Your dignity survived you starting a gang. It'll survive me."
That was unfairly accurate.
I started walking again.
"Are there more magical creatures around here?"
"What are you going to do if there are?"
"Meet them."
Her ears moved.
"That's it?"
"Maybe ask questions."
"No hunting?"
"No."
"No screaming?"
"Why would I scream?"
"No desperate begging for magical power?"
I thought about it.
"No."
Kuroha went quiet.
Apparently that wasn't the answer she'd expected.
"Magic exists," I continued. "Demons exist. You exist. Obviously I want to know what else is out there."
"Huh."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"That's a suspicious nothing."
"If you entertain me enough," she said, dramatically swishing her tail across my forehead, "I might introduce you to a few interesting things."
"I'll try to meet your impossibly high standards, Cat."
"My name is Kuro."
"That's barely better than Cat."
Her claws lightly poked my hair.
"Rude."
"Accurate."
She stole my own line.
Unforgivable.
"Fine," she grumbled. "Kuroha."
I grinned.
"Better."
"Happy?"
"Very."
"Good. Now stop calling me Cat."
"Of course, Cat."
Bap.
Her paw hit my forehead.
"Worth it."
"So, Kuroha," I continued, "what other magical animals exist? Talking dogs? Giant turtles? A flamingo with a sword?"
"Only inside your damaged imagination."
"Disappointing."
We kept walking.
One Ninja.
One magical cat.
And absolutely no explanation for why this had already started feeling normal.
Let me be honest.
If somebody had told me a few weeks ago that I would spend an evening walking through an Earth neighborhood with a talking magical cat sitting on my head, I would've assumed they were drunk.
Yet here I was.
And somehow?
The cat was winning.
"So," I said casually, pretending I wasn't being dragged even deeper into Earth's supernatural world, "you know that Magical Girl I met?"
Kuroha's tail moved lazily across my forehead.
"What Magical Girl?"
"The sparkly one."
"That narrows it down tremendously."
"The one who healed my hand."
"Oh."
Her tone changed just enough for me to notice.
I narrowed my eyes.
"You know who I'm talking about."
"Maybe."
"Kuroha."
"Yes?"
"Who was she?"
"A Magical Girl."
I stopped walking.
"I know that."
"Then your investigation is going wonderfully."
"She had sparkles."
"Many people have sparkles."
"She destroyed a knife."
"Rude of her."
"She healed my hand."
"Very considerate."
I stared straight ahead.
"You're enjoying this."
"Immensely."
"So you know her?"
Kuroha stretched luxuriously across my head.
"Maybe she's a terrifying supernatural warrior."
"Okay."
"Maybe she's a pastry instructor from Hokkaido."
"Less likely."
"Maybe she moonlights as a pop idol and battles evil seaweed spirits with a wand shaped like a soup ladle."
I was silent.
"…You're making that up."
"Can you prove it?"
"No."
"Then respect the possibility."
"I hate cats."
"No, you don't."
Unfortunately, she was becoming correct surprisingly quickly.
I still didn't have a name for the strange Magical Girl.
Apparently Kuroha intended to keep it that way.
Fine.
For now, she could remain:
Sparkly Knife-Destroying Magical Girl.
Catchy.
Probably wouldn't fit on an identification card.
"Alright," I said. "Different question."
"Finally."
"Ki."
That got her attention.
"I understand Ki very well, but the system I'm familiar with isn't quite the same as what I've observed here."
That part was true.
Back home, Ki came from physical energy and spiritual energy combined.
Earth separated them.
Ki from physical energy.
Mana from spiritual energy.
The principles I understood were still useful, but that didn't mean I could just take one of my old cultivation methods and force Kaito's body through it.
The underlying system was different.
"My body obviously has physical energy," I said. "But I don't know how martial artists here awaken it into usable Ki."
Kuroha became suspiciously quiet.
I looked upward despite the fact that all I could see was black fur.
"You know something."
"No."
"You paused."
"Cats pause."
"You're terrible at lying."
"I'm excellent at lying."
"That sounds like something a terrible liar would say."
She sat upright.
Then, in the most solemn voice she'd used all night, said:
"Find Ryūseikan."
I waited.
"And?"
"That's it."
I stopped.
"Kuroha."
"Yes?"
"That isn't an explanation."
"I never said it was."
"That's like asking where treasure is buried and somebody answering, Earth."
"Well, I'm a cat."
"So?"
"I don't do exposition dumps."
I stared ahead.
"Go find a talking parrot for that."
"I will find a parrot just to spite you."
She gently smacked my forehead.
"You're amusing when frustrated."
"Ryūseikan," I repeated. "What is it?"
"Nope."
"A dojo?"
Silence.
"Martial clan?"
Nothing.
"Secret organization?"
Her tail flicked.
"Restaurant?"
Nothing.
"Theme park filled with terrifyingly muscular mascots?"
She purred.
"One of those guesses is reasonably close."
"Which?"
"No."
"You are the worst guide I've ever had."
"And yet…"
She curled back down.
"…you keep listening."
I hated when annoying people had good points.
I looked upward at the night sky.
The stars were visible between the buildings.
The moon hung overhead.
Probably laughing at me.
Possibly working with Kuroha.
But that name—
Ryūseikan.
Something about the way she'd said it mattered.
Kuroha wasn't stupid.
Annoying?
Absolutely.
Possibly criminally smug?
Definitely.
But not stupid.
If she thought Ryūseikan could help me understand Earth's Ki system, then it was worth investigating.
Besides—
it sounded like the name of a place where everybody inside could punch through walls.
Which made visiting practically mandatory.
"You sure you're not some magical messenger animal sent to guide me toward destiny?"
"Maybe."
I felt her smirk through my hair.
"Or maybe I'm bored and you walk in straight lines better than most pigeons."
"Again."
I sighed.
"Rude."
We continued beneath the streetlights.
Me, pretending I wasn't being manipulated by a sarcastic magical cat.
Her, pretending she wasn't interested in how quickly I'd accepted everything.
She was testing me.
I was becoming increasingly sure of that.
Waiting to see if I'd panic.
Beg for power.
Demand answers.
But I didn't want somebody to hand me strength.
I wanted to understand it.
Earn it.
Especially now.
There were people depending on me.
Shōgo.
Reina.
Haruki.
Hermes, in his own highly questionable way.
And all the people we'd just brought into Red Dawn.
None of them knew the truth about me.
Shōgo certainly didn't know that the boy he'd agreed to follow wasn't actually Kaito Hoshino inside.
Neither did Reina or the others.
For now, that secret stayed exactly where it was.
With me.
And Mom.
"I'll find Ryūseikan," I said.
Kuroha was silent for a moment.
Then—
"I know."
Still smug.
But softer.
Interesting.
Here's something you should know.
When a talking magical cat disappears approximately thirty seconds before you reach home—
and your front door is suspiciously unlocked despite you being absolutely certain you locked it—
the universe is preparing to annoy you.
Spoiler:
I was right.
"Kuroha?"
Nothing.
I looked behind me.
No cat.
"Coward."
No response.
I opened the door.
"I'm home."
Almost immediately, I heard teacups.
Then laughter.
Then Mom's cheerful voice.
Guests.
Uh-oh.
Mom only brought out the good tea set under two circumstances.
One:
important guests.
Two:
she intended to emotionally destroy you over something you'd done wrong.
Considering my room was reasonably clean—
important guests.
"Kaito!" Mom called from the living room. "A girl from your school came to see you!"
I stopped.
Mom had gotten very good at calling me Kaito whenever other people were around.
There was usually a tiny look afterward.
Just enough to say:
I know you're Ren. You know you're Ren. But they don't.
A girl from school?
For approximately half a second, my brain remembered every stupid romance show Hana had made me watch.
Then another thought arrived.
Kaito would definitely call this a romance flag.
Unfortunately, because I was currently living Kaito's life, his romance flags had become my problem.
Wonderful.
I entered the living room.
There were two girls.
Of course there were.
The first had long black hair tied into a neat ponytail, sharp violet eyes behind stylish glasses, and the posture of someone who could probably organize your funeral before you'd finished insulting her.
I recognized the school uniform.
Seika Academy.
The second girl sat with perfect posture beside her.
Short dark hair.
Calm expression.
Eyes that seemed to calculate absolutely everything they touched.
Kaito's memories supplied a name.
Sora Kurotsuki.
Student Council President of Seika Academy.
And beside her—
Mizuki Takahara, the Student Council Vice President.
Also known as:
Two people I had absolutely no desire to unexpectedly find drinking tea with my mother.
"Uh…"
Excellent.
Years of assassin training.
Years of combat experience.
And when surprised by two teenage girls?
"Hi?"
Flawless.
Sora gave me a crisp nod.
"Hello, Kaito Hoshino. I apologize for arriving without warning."
Mom looked delighted.
"Kaito, you never told me the Student Council President knew you!"
Because I didn't.
Technically.
"I'll get more cookies."
"Mom, you don't—"
"Nonsense."
She stood.
Then Mizuki smiled politely.
"Mrs. Hoshino?"
Mom looked back.
"Yes, dear?"
"Would it be alright if we spoke with Kaito privately?"
"Of course!"
Mom smiled at me.
Then something changed.
Tiny.
Almost invisible.
A movement of Mizuki's fingers.
A whisper of Mana.
Mom's expression softened unnaturally.
Her eyes unfocused for barely a second.
Then she smiled.
"I'll be in the kitchen. Call me if you need anything."
She walked away.
I didn't move.
My smile vanished.
They had just used magic on my mother.
Every instinct I possessed activated at once.
Not Ki.
Kaito's body still couldn't use Earth Ki properly.
Not some convenient burst of supernatural power.
Just training.
Experience.
And the overwhelming desire to break somebody's fingers.
My eyes locked onto Mizuki's hand.
Distance.
Three meters.
Sora closer.
Table between us.
Mizuki probably the caster.
Unknown abilities.
Unknown reinforcement.
Unknown reaction speed.
I could reach one before the other moved.
Maybe.
My body shifted almost imperceptibly.
Mizuki noticed.
So did Sora.
Good.
They weren't idiots.
For one very unpleasant second, I seriously considered attacking them.
Then stopped.
Not because I was scared.
I had fought cultivators.
Abyss creatures.
Assassins.
Shōgo.
Reina's feet.
And one magical cat with no respect for personal space.
But these two had entered my home.
Sat with my mother.
Had every opportunity to harm her.
And hadn't.
The spell didn't feel destructive.
More like suggestion.
Still unacceptable.
But not enough reason to start breaking furniture.
Yet.
I remained standing.
My voice lost every trace of humor.
"Undo whatever you just did."
Mizuki's eyebrows rose slightly.
Sora studied me.
"It will fade shortly," Mizuki said.
"Now."
Silence.
Sora glanced at her.
Mizuki made another small motion.
The faint magical pressure vanished.
From the kitchen came the sound of Mom opening a cabinet.
I relaxed approximately half a percent.
"Don't do that again."
Sora watched me closely.
"Your reaction confirms several things."
"That you shouldn't use magic on my mother?"
"That you can perceive Mana."
I stared at her.
Oops.
Sora continued.
"And that your reflexes do not match what we know about Kaito Hoshino."
Much bigger oops.
Mizuki watched me carefully now.
I sat opposite them.
No point pretending everything was normal.
"What do you want?"
"We came to talk," Sora said.
"Most people use phones."
"This isn't a conversation suitable for a phone."
"That's ominous."
"It wasn't intended to be."
"That makes it worse."
Mizuki's mouth twitched.
Sora remained perfectly serious.
"Someone close to me encountered you recently."
My attention sharpened.
"Someone close to you?"
"Yes."
"When?"
Sora ignored the question.
"She described an unusual encounter involving you."
I studied her.
Healing.
Sparkles.
A destroyed knife.
There couldn't be that many people running around doing that.
Could there?
Actually, given everything I had learned about Earth recently…
there probably could.
Still—
Is she talking about the Magical Girl?
I didn't say it aloud.
Sora continued.
"She became curious about you."
"That's never a good sentence."
"And now I'm curious."
"Somehow worse."
She folded her hands on the table.
"We've looked into you."
"I gathered that."
"Kaito Hoshino. Fifteen years old. Student. Poor academic performance."
"That feels unnecessarily personal."
"Repeated disciplinary issues."
"Kaito had a difficult adolescence."
Both girls stared at me.
Right.
Third person.
Brilliant.
I coughed.
"I mean I had a difficult adolescence."
Sora's eyes narrowed.
Mizuki definitely noticed.
Fantastic.
"We also found," Sora continued, "that your behavior changed dramatically several weeks ago."
I remained silent.
"Your posture changed."
Nothing.
"Your speech changed."
Still nothing.
"You began training obsessively."
Nothing.
"You joined Shinomiya Dojo."
Yep.
"You defeated multiple experienced student fighters."
Also yep.
"You appear to recognize supernatural phenomena despite having no known background in the hidden world."
There it was.
Sora leaned forward slightly.
"And according to the person who encountered you, when confronted with magic…"
Her eyes sharpened.
"…you weren't surprised enough."
I considered my options.
Lie?
Probably.
Badly?
Definitely.
Tell the truth?
Absolutely not.
Not yet.
So naturally—
I chose option three.
Be annoying.
I leaned back.
"What can I say?"
They waited.
"I read a lot."
Mizuki stared at me.
Sora stared at me.
I smiled.
"No?"
"No," Sora said.
"Worth trying."
She sighed quietly.
Then her expression became serious again.
"We are here because something about you doesn't make sense."
"Story of my life."
"We need to determine whether you're dangerous."
That killed the joke.
I looked directly at her.
"To whom?"
Sora didn't hesitate.
"To humans."
Fair question.
"To Demons."
Also fair.
"To other supernatural groups operating in this region."
Less fair, but understandable.
"And potentially…"
She paused.
"…to yourself."
That one caught me.
Sora watched my reaction.
Then asked the question she'd apparently come here to ask from the beginning.
"What are you?"
I blinked.
"Pretty sure I'm human."
Neither reacted.
"Teenage."
Nothing.
"Currently bruised in approximately seventeen locations."
Mizuki almost smiled.
Sora did not.
"And unfortunately…"
I sighed.
"…still terrible at Earth mathematics."
Sora's eyebrow moved.
Got her.
Small victory.
"That sum it up?"
"No."
"Didn't think so."
For a few seconds, nobody spoke.
Then Mom called from the kitchen.
"Kaito! Chocolate-chip or butter cookies?"
"Chocolate-chip!"
Sora stared at me.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"You looked disappointed."
"I expected something else."
"Such as?"
She shook her head.
"Never mind."
I narrowed my eyes.
The Student Council President had secrets.
The magical cat had secrets.
The nameless Magical Girl definitely had secrets.
Earth apparently had enough secrets to compete with the Veiled Moon Sect.
Fantastic.
And somewhere outside—
probably sitting on a roof and laughing—
was one smug black cat who had conveniently vanished right before two supernatural girls showed up at my house.
I was going to find Kuroha.
And when I did?
We were going to have a very long conversation.
Preferably while I held her somewhere she couldn't escape.
Because my peaceful Earth life had officially acquired magical cats, secret martial-arts dojos, Demon student councils, and a supernatural investigation into what exactly I was.
And I still didn't even know the Magical Girl's name.
Somehow, that was beginning to bother me almost as much as the fact that I still had schoolwork to finish.
There truly was no justice in the universe.