Congratulations! You Haven't Slept on the Street Tonight! (You're Basically a Superhero)
Hey, you! Yeah, you scrolling through your phone, sipping your overpriced latte, and wondering why the homeless guy just gave you the stink eye. Guess what? You survived another night not sleeping on the street. Congratulations! You're basically a superhero. Seriously, give yourself a round of applause. You dodged the "sleeping on cold concrete" bullet like a champ.
Have you ever slept on the street? No? Well, congrats again. You just passed the "not wanting to die tonight" test. That's right. Every night out there is like playing real-life Jumanji but without the cool animals or Robin Williams to save you. Instead, you get freezing temperatures, weird smells, and people pretending you're invisible like you're some sort of human ghost.
So here's a thought: next time you see someone struggling out there, instead of pretending they're part of the scenery, maybe buy them a drink. Or hey, if you're feeling wild, buy them some drugs (okay, maybe not actual drugs, but you get the point). Because surviving another night on the street is like winning the lottery—except instead of money, you get frostbite and existential dread.
And if you think, "Well, they made their choices," remember this: you didn't choose to have a warm bed and a roof, either. You just lucked out. So chill with the judgment. You're not better than anyone else—you just got handed a better hand. And if you don't help out, you're basically the jerk at the party who ate all the snacks and left everyone else hungry.
So next time you walk past someone who looks like they're living in a horror movie called "The Real World," maybe stop and say, "Hey, you're amazing for surviving this nightmare." Because they are. And you? You're amazing for not being a total jackass.
Happy Opposite Day, by the way. Because the real heroes? They're the ones sleeping on the street, getting zero recognition or credit, and still haven't killed themselves. Yeah, those folks are the real MVPs. So maybe—just maybe—it's time to start seeing them.
Moral of the story: Being a decent human is free. Use it wisely.