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For a long moment, everyone on the battlefield just… stared. The only sound was Joker's gleeful cackling as he relieved himself on the blazing, Phoenix-possessed alien.
But his victory lap didn't last.
Reality bent.
The stream reversed course midair, rushing right back into him, flooding straight into his bladder. Joker yelped, leaping in place.
"Ohhh, sweet mother of—NO! No, no, no! This is not how I unlock a new fetish! Somebody hit pause, I am not ready for this XP unlock!"
By the time the humiliating reversal ended, Vuk lashed out on pure instinct. His fist shot up in a vicious groin strike.
Joker twisted, catching the blow with his hip, zipping his pants at the same time. He wiped the sweat from his brow and flicked it aside.
"Whoo! Close call. Good news for all the fanfic writers out there—Kryptonian pee? Not salty enough to put out Phoenix fire. Don't bother testing it again."
Vuk rose from the ground, flames rippling across his body. His calm mask had cracked. His head drooped, his body levitated, and he muttered in a language no one could recognize—a raw psychic whisper that slipped straight into the mind.
Even with Kryptonian hearing, Joker only caught fragments: I'm unclean… tainted…
He snorted. "Somebody needs therapy. Or a bath."
Before he could crack another joke, his vision was filled by an incoming fist the size of a truck.
Joker spun on instinct, his own punch whipping around to meet Vuk's.
The two collided in a thunderous CRACK. Joker's feet drove into the earth, sinking inches deep, but he held the line.
Strength for strength, he wasn't losing. But Phoenix reality-warping power tilted the scales. Ash began to flake from his right arm—as if reality itself was erasing it.
"Gahhh—Equal Rights Hook!" Joker shouted, swinging with his left. His punch landed square, sending Vuk flying—but his other arm disintegrated just the same.
He skidded back to Jean's side, holding up both fading arms like a man begging for healing. "Yo, Red. Got a fix for this? Because I'm running out of limbs over here!"
Jean flicked her hands. Phoenix fire licked across his body, restoring him instantly.
Joker grinned. "Perfect! You're officially my healer now. You keep me patched up, I keep pounding this guy into paste. Teamwork!"
He didn't wait for her response. Rolling his shoulders, he cracked his knuckles. "Alright, ugly. You're still standing, which means I haven't been nearly dedicated enough to gender equality. Time to show you my full conviction!"
Jean's brows arched. "This counts as equality?"
"Of course it does! Equal punches for everyone. Men, women, aliens—you get a fist, you get a fist, everybody gets a fist!" Joker turned to wink at her—
—and caught Vuk's fist across the jaw.
He spun with it, legs whipping like a chain. His boot smashed into Vuk's skull, launching the alien leader across the battlefield. Joker kipped upright, grinning.
"And equal kicks, too."
He jabbed a finger toward Jean. "C'mon, Red! Time for some three-player action!" He cackled. "Relax, relax—I meant a fight. What did you think I meant?"
Before Jean could retort, Joker blurred. His speed rivaled Quicksilver's as he ricocheted around the battlefield, turning Vuk into his personal punching bag.
To outside eyes, the fight was a cyclone of shadows, an endless storm of blows too fast to follow. Only Jean truly understood the stakes: every hit risked tearing Vuk straight out of reality, while every counterstrike forced her to keep Joker from unraveling himself.
It was chaos. Pure, physical chaos.
And in the middle of it, Joker was laughing.
Vuk didn't stand a chance. Phoenix energy poured out of him with every blow. Finally—Joker's fist punched straight through his skull. The alien's body went limp. For a moment, even Vuk seemed to believe he was dead—so he was.
Phoenix fire erupted from the corpse, blooming into a blazing, sun-sized aura that threatened to incinerate everything—Earth included.
But Jean was there. Instinctively, she drew the power back in, merging it with her own. The flames condensed, wings of fire stretching from her back as her control surged to a new level.
She swept her arms wide—and D'Bari soldiers and ships alike burned in her wake. The battlefield turned in an instant.
The warship high above trembled as it felt its leader's death. Yet the D'Bari did not retreat. They chose escalation.
The main cannon of the orbital ship began to charge, light gathering in its colossal barrel. This wasn't a skirmish weapon—it was an extinction beam.
Jean rose into the air, hands outstretched, preparing to shield Earth—only to feel someone grab her collar from behind.
"Whoa there, Red. Ever hear the saying? Best defense is a good offense."
"What—?" she stammered as Joker hauled her upward at breakneck speed.
"Introducing…" He spun once, muscles coiling. "The Phoenix Cannonball!"
With a manic laugh, he hurled Jean like a fastball pitch straight into the warship's main cannon. She vanished into the charging barrel, Phoenix fire detonating on impact.
"SHOWTIME!" Joker bellowed, his own eyes flaring red. He rocketed upward, colliding headfirst with the ship's secondary gun, heat vision blasting as he dove in.
The battlefield below erupted in light.
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