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Chapter 16 - Chapter 16: Heavy Silence

Axel didn't slow down when he saw the gleaming car parked out front. His mother's. The driver door still open, keys dangling. He felt that familiar cold rush in his stomach resentment, dread, the need to vanish. He didn't look at her. He didn't look at him. He just walked right past, backpack over one shoulder, hood half-up, earbuds in though nothing was playing. "Axel." His father's voice cut sharp through the evening air. "Is that how you greet people? Rude, boy." Axel kept moving. He didn't even turn his head. He pushed open the grand carved door, felt it thud shut behind him. The silence of the entryway swallowed him whole, just footsteps on glossy marble, portraits staring down at him from too-high walls. He wanted to scream. Instead he climbed the stairs, every step echoing like a gunshot. He got to his room. Slammed the door. He threw his bag into a corner. Stood there breathing hard. He hated this place. He hated how big it was, how cold. How every room was spotless because no one actually lived in it. Axel pressed the heel of his palms to his eyes. Stop thinking. His phone buzzed in his pocket. He yanked it out. Noah. Did you get home okay? He stared at the message. His thumb hovered. He turned the phone off. Tossed it onto the bed. He didn't want to think about Noah right now. Didn't want to think about how safe he'd felt walking beside him.

Didn't want to think about how good it had felt when Noah looked at him like he actually mattered. There was a knock at the door. "Axel?" The maid. Her voice was careful, almost afraid to be the one interrupting him. "Dinner is ready." He didn't answer right away. "Axel?" He ran a hand through his hair, pressing his fingers hard against his skull. "Coming," he muttered finally. He didn't want to go. But he went. The dining room was all polished wood and chandeliers. His mother was already seated at her end of the long table, wine glass in hand. His father sat stiffly at the other end, phone facedown beside his plate. Axel took his usual spot. A servant immediately set food in front of him. He didn't thank her. Silence. Knives scraping. Glass clinking. He stared at the roast on his plate but didn't taste it. He felt his shoulders crawl with tension. He could hear them breathing. He hated that. About ten minutes in, his mother cleared her throat. "So," she said, voice too light, too careful. "How did the meeting go at school?" Axel didn't look up. He stabbed at his food. "You didn't come," he said. Voice flat, biting. "Why are you asking?" There was a silence that felt like glass shattering. His mother blinked. Closed her mouth. His father glanced at her, then at Axel, but said nothing. Axel kept eating, if only to give his hands something to do. He chewed mechanically. He wanted to call her out. He wanted to scream. Why did you even pretend you'd show up? Why did you tell them you'd be there? Why did you let me think for one second that you gave a damn? But he didn't. Because it wouldn't change anything.

When his plate was empty enough to count as done, he dropped his fork and got up without asking to leave. No one stopped him. He climbed the stairs two at a time, ignoring the ache in his legs. Shut his door and locked it. He flung himself on the bed, lying on his back, arm over his eyes. His phone buzzed again. Noah. Another message. He didn't check it. Didn't want to feel anything. He fell asleep like that. Clothes on. Light still on. When he woke up the next morning, he felt even worse. School felt like a punishment. He shuffled in late, hoodie pulled up. He didn't bother to talk to anyone. Didn't laugh at Javier's joke. Barely nodded when Jasmine waved. Noah found him by the lockers. "You good?" Noah asked, voice low. Axel kept his eyes on the combination lock. "Fine." Noah frowned. "Axel." "I said I'm fine." They had their project presentation that day. Axel didn't want to do it. But he didn't have a choice. They stood at the front of the room, Noah holding the cue cards. Noah's voice was steady, charming even. He smiled at the class. Axel read his lines without looking up, monotone. He felt Noah glance at him a couple times. The teacher clapped at the end. "Excellent work, boys. This was very thorough." Some kids even cheered. "Questions?" the teacher asked. A girl in the back raised her hand. Axel swallowed. Forced himself to answer, voice dull. When they sat down, Noah leaned close. "You okay? Really?" Axel didn't respond. Noah's brow furrowed, worried.

Javier and Jasmine didn't miss it. After class, they cornered him. Javier clapped his back. "Bro. You're like a zombie today." Axel shrugged him off. Jasmine put her hands on her hips. "You look like hell. Spill." Axel shook his head. "I said I'm fine." they traded looks. Noah wouldn't drop it. "Axel. I know you. What's wrong?" Axel finally snapped, voice raw. "Just drop it, Noah. I'm fine." The hallway went quiet around them for a second. Noah's jaw tightened. "Fine," he muttered. Javier tried to make a joke about lunch plans to break the tension. Jasmine sighed, patting Axel's arm like he was a sulky child. They all walked together out of the classroom. Axel felt like lead. Everything felt heavy. He didn't want them to look at him. But he didn't want them to leave him alone either. He just didn't know how to say it.

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