[You can understand it that way, but for you, having a self is not the key]
"Ah, I'll remember that. Thank you for your answer," Su'er thanked her sincerely.
Although he knew this key information, Su'er had no clue at all. His mind was in a mess.
[Why not?]
"What not?" It should be the God of Doubt's turn to ask, but Su'er didn't understand.
[Why can't you become an Old Deus?]
"...Because I am just an ordinary Imanity."
[You are not Imanity, nor are you ordinary]
"I am Imanity. Even if you and Okein both say I'm dangerous, the fact is that this is just a fragile body of flesh and blood. It hurts when it's injured, and it dies when it's killed."
[You have not died before, so how do you know what the sight after death is?]
"Because Imanity is—"
Su'er and the God of Doubt answered each other quickly. Su'er's voice subconsciously became louder, and he even raised his arm excitedly, but it came to an abrupt stop when his emotions reached their peak.
A simple Imanity would not have the power to charm minds. It was even more than what the simple word 'charm' could explain. The feeling of him projecting his consciousness onto the Siren named Laila still remained in his heart. Even at this moment, he could find that tiny speck of light representing that Siren in the sea of his consciousness. As long as Su'er was willing, he could cross the distance and descend on her again.
Can this also be called Imanity?
Would he truly fall into eternal slumber like other Imanity after death?
There was no way to know.
And Su'er would never proactively verify this question.
"Should I say you are indeed the great Old Deus who represents doubt?" Su'er's tone dropped. He said with a bitter smile, "But no matter what, for an Imanity to become an Old Deus is something that cannot be described as evolution. It is a boldness that cannot even be described as a delusion."
[So, why not?]
"Magic can't do it, right?"
[Why can't magic do it?]
"Why are there so many 'whys'?" Su'er finally said the words he had been wanting to say since just now. Compared to Ocan, this God of Doubt has too many things to complain about. "Following this line of questioning, no matter what I say is impossible, will you just follow up with 'why is it impossible?' 'Why can't it be changed?' If the questions keep going in a loop, they can never be solved."
[Why can't they be solved?]
I think you're the God of Sarcasm, right?!
He barely managed to hold back from saying that. Su'er rubbed his throbbing temples hard. Thanks to living with quick-minded people like Think and Jibril for a long time, he always felt that his thinking had also become quite fast and jumping.
"Wait a minute," A question suddenly came to his mind. Su'er quickly looked at the vase-shaped Divine Core and asked, "With your... hmm, personality, I mean, this personality of liking to get to the bottom of things and fighting is good. Anyway, if you always have a skeptical attitude towards everything you encounter, then have you ever thought about this question?"
"To seek an answer, you must first believe that there is an answer, right? Doesn't that mean that in your heart, there is always one question that you will not doubt - that is, you firmly believe that all questions have answers?" He had a deeper understanding of what Think said about how the Old Deus's personality would be simple due to the limitation of their own concept. Su'er was a bit curious about how this Old Deus, who claimed to represent the concept of doubt, would explain this question that was against her own origin.
[...Doubt... believe... doubt... believe...]
The God of Doubt was repeating these words endlessly and had clearly fallen into a closed loop.
Can an Old Deus get a bug? Can an Old Deus freeze?
"Then I'll take my leave first. I'll come back to visit later. I wish you a pleasant recovery," Su'er bowed respectfully and drove the Great Escape away from this place at the fastest speed.
Communicating with this God of a Hundred Thousand Whys was very stressful. The pressure came not only from the oppressive feeling of spirits and the identity of the Old Deus, but also from her strange questions and bizarre way of thinking.
Of course, more importantly, he could no longer get any useful answers from this God of Doubt. Although she had given him a seemingly absurd answer, she had no idea how to actually do it.
Without noticing Su'er's departure, the God of Doubt was still murmuring to herself repeatedly.
The words of the God of Doubt were like a cup of poisoned mead that was poured into Su'er's heart, opening up a world he had never thought about before. Even he himself could not believe the delusion that Imanity could become a god. That Old Deus must be crazy, but every night, when Su'er lay in bed and closed his eyes, he still couldn't help but fantasize about something.
If, it were really possible...
How should I do it?
Power, my power... how can I use this power...
Do you truly have your own will?
Why have you never talked to me?
Are you friendly?
Tell me the answer...
These murmurs were like poisonous vines wrapped around Su'er, making him stagger like a person possessed.
"Mr. Monkey~"
"Mr. Monkey?"
A pinching-like pain came from his arm - well, he was being pinched. When Su'er came back to his senses, he saw Think's slender fingers pinching the soft flesh of his arm, slightly twisting it.
"Sorry, I was a bit distracted," Su'er let out an apologetic chuckle. He took a deep breath, allowing the cold air filling his chest to stimulate his mind until it was in the clearest state.
"If Mr. Monkey has aged to the point where he can't connect his thoughts, then it's better to go back and lie down, you know?"
"...I'm not that old. I'm still a young man. I have at least a few more decades before I get senile dementia, right?"
While muttering to himself in a low voice, Su'er didn't dare to speak loudly. Think's glare was really a bit scary - after all, just two days ago, when he went to Think's magic workshop to deliver tea, he tripped over something on the ground because of his dazed mental state, and he spilled the tea all over Think...
He could only say that it was a good thing she wasn't scalded!
However, Su'er was still harshly criticized by Think with sharp words. Therefore, Su'er could completely understand the worried voice this woman was making at the moment.
Uh, it should be a worried voice, right? It was indeed a worry.
Su'er really believed it.