Kento gasped, dragging his half-broken body into the nearest hollow log he could find. It smelled like moss, wet dirt, and something that died six days ago.
Outside, the goblins kept screeching… then slowly faded.
Silence.
Kento pressed both hands over his mouth, holding his breath like he was trying not to sneeze during hide-and-seek with Death.
"Did I just escape," he whispered, "with anime logic?"
📜
[Temporary Stealth: Active]
[Condition: Don't breathe too loud, dummy.]
[HP: 37%]
[Stamina: Barely hanging on]
[Morale: A broken stick]
Five minutes passed.
No sounds. No goblin grunts. No angry rustling.
He peeked out.
The forest looked… slightly less cursed.
He crawled out, legs shaking, covered in leaves, dirt, and existential dread.
"Okay," he muttered, panting. "Think. What would early humans do?"
His brain sparked.
"Anime survival episodes."
Yes. He'd seen enough to fake it.
First, a weapon. He grabbed the sturdiest stick he could find. Sharp rock? Check. A bit of dry grass to tie it all together? Done.
Ten minutes later, he held it up like a holy relic.
"Behold," he whispered, "The Stick of Destiny."
📜
[Weapon Acquired: Pointy Stick (Very Pointy)]
[Attack: +1 (If you stab real hard)]
[Durability: LOL]
He used some broken branches to build a weak lean-to shelter. Half of it collapsed.
He fixed it with more sticks.
"Shelter: kinda done."
Next, he tried digging a shallow pit. Set up two rock traps using vines.
They didn't look deadly. But maybe annoying.
Then he found a mushroom.
He sniffed it. Licked it. Ate it.
Instant regret.
📜
[Poison Resistance: 0]
[Effect: Mild stomachache for 6 hours]
[Condition: Self-inflicted pain]
"Why do survival anime never show the diarrhea part…" Kento groaned.
His eyes widened. Stomach clenched.
"…Oh no."
Then came the cramps.
He doubled over, clutching his gut like it was trying to kill him from the inside out.
"I TAKE IT BACK! I TAKE EVERYTHING BACK!"
He collapsed near a bush, face pale, sweat pouring, he bowed down while begging " Great being System… where's the Loperamide"
📜
[Searching Inventory…]
[Item Not Found: Loperamide (a.k.a. modern miracle pill)]
[Craftable Version: Not Available]
[Recommended: Don't eat random forest fungus next time, genius.]
Kento gritted his teeth. "That's not helpful!"
Still, he covered himself in mud, pressed leaves to his face, and waited in the bushes like a lumpy woodland sniper.
Time passed.
Then he saw it.
A goblin. Small. Level 0.5. Alone. Chewing on a mushroom with the same dead expression Kento had 20 minutes ago.
He gripped his stick tighter. "This is it. Time to turn the tables on."
He pounced.
He missed.
Badly.
The goblin screeched and yeeted a rock at him. It hit him square in the eye.
"AGAIN?!"
📜
[HP: 29%]
[Confidence: -12]
[Pain: Yes]
He ran.
Tripped on a root.
Rolled into a thorn bush that stabbed his soul.
"WHY IS NATURE SO MEAN?!"
📜
[Passive Skill Unlocked: Flail & Flee]
[Effect: Run faster while panicking and screaming]
[Bonus: +0.5 Speed while Screaming]
The goblin didn't follow. It probably thought he wasn't worth the energy.
Kento stayed in the bush until sunset, silently sobbing and swearing revenge.
Then the next one, New trap. This time: bait.
He took a shiny spoon from his pocket. Probably stolen from one of the earlier goblins. Placed it under a bush near a tripwire made of grass.
Then he climbed a tree and waited.
Another goblin showed up.
Level 0.5 again. Same ugly nose. Same dumb walk.
Kento held his breath.
The goblin reached for the spoon.
"NOW!"
He jumped.
Bad idea.
He twisted his ankle mid-air and fell like a sack of potatoes.
CRACK.
The trap didn't spring.
He screamed.
The goblin screamed.
It smacked him with its stick.
📜
[HP: 12%]
Kento closed his eyes and raised his arms.
"I'm gonna die… again."
But then—
SNAP.
Then the ground under its foot crumbled.
"Eh?"
FLOP.
The goblin slipped and tumbled forward… right into the bush beside Kento.
They both lay there for a second—awkward. Close. Confused.
Kento stared.
The goblin blinked back at him.
It raised one shaky arm.
Then winced, clutching its side. A sharp branch had jabbed into it during the fall.
📜
[Special Trait Activated: Unreal Plot Armor (level 0)]
[Effect Triggered: Enemy weapon failure]
[Status: saved by luck]
Kento stared, wide-eyed,
"huh, I… lived?"
He shout out happily "I LIVED" and kicked the dirt into the goblin's eyes, whos on the other side.
"This isn't skill," he wheezed. "This is ultimate Dirt Move Technique"
Then the next..., no dumb jumps.
No mushrooms. No spoons. Just patience.
Kento hid under leaves. Breath steady. Body still.
He saw movement.
Another goblin.
He waited.
It walked into the clearing.
He crept up.
Then he screamed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"
The goblin turned—too late.
Kento stabbed it. Not in the heart. Not even in the back.
Right in the throat.
It screeched, flailed, spun in circles—and finally collapsed.
Dead.
📜
[Enemy Defeated: Goblin – Lv. 0.5]
[EXP Gained: +20]
[Quest Unlocked: Beginner Hunt]
→ Objective: Eliminate 5 Small Goblins (Lv. 0.5–1.0)
→ Reward: Level Up to Lv. 1 Bonus +1 point to all basic attributes
[Progress: 1/5]
[Level: 0 (Still. But a little closer to glory.)]
Kento dropped his stick, chest heaving.
He stared at the body. The dirt. His bleeding hand.
He started laughing.
"…I"
"...Did it"
He raised the stick like it was Excalibur. A muddy, splintered, bug-covered Excalibur.
"YOU HEAR THAT, WORLD?! I KILLED SOMETHING! I KENTO!"
He sat on the corpse, breathing hard.
A soft breeze passed.
Birds chirped in the distance.
Kento wiped blood off his cracked glasses, smiled like a man who just beat his taxes, and whispered:
"Huh, FOUR MORE to go…"