(Arceus POV)
As I awoke from my slumber, I slowly got up from my comfortable bed and stood upright.
The sound of insects buzzing in the wind... the gentle breeze brushing against my skin…
I was in paradise. Nothing could ruin this morning.
"Hello!"
Ah. I spoke too soon.
Discord arrived with a small basket filled with... I don't even know what those things are.
I glanced into the basket and saw a bizarre mix of fruits mashed together like some kind of chaotic art piece—an apple fused with a banana, tiny pears that seemed to grow more pears the longer I stared at them, and finally… an orange with a face.
To my surprise, it started talking—spewing out random words that sounded like something a child on a sugar rush would say.
It began babbling about how my home was "really skibidi" and that the place could "rizz up a girl."
I had no idea what the fruit was going on about, so, as a mercy to myself, I turned the orange back into a regular fruit.
"Aww, poop! Couldn't you at least let it roam free? Imagine the chaos it would've caused!" Discord whined.
"As much as I love talking fruit, Discord, I'd rather have them quiet than talking my ears off."
"But you don't even have ears! You've got horns. Here, let me fix that."
He snapped his talons, and a pair of comically large human ears popped out on the sides of my head.
I stared at him with a blank expression. "Really? That's the best you can do?"
In response, I gave him axolotl gills on the side of his head.
He burst out laughing, clearly enjoying the gesture.
"Oh, I haven't had this much fun since I formed last week!"
"Glad to see you're enjoying yourself."
I grabbed the basket of strange fruit, conjured a small stone table, and set the basket down.
"So, what's today's agenda?"
"Oh! Wait just a moment."
He summoned a pair of glasses and a business suit, then reached into his jacket and pulled out a scroll.
"Let's see here... Haha! Okay, it says we need to create different species to inhabit this world."
"Sounds easy enough."
I removed the ears and gills from our heads and got ready to begin.
"Ahh... I was starting to like those gills. Gave me a dignified look, don't you think?"
I chuckled at his antics and stepped outside. He floated beside me, and together, we teleported to the ground.
"So, what kind of creatures do you want to make?" I asked.
"Well, I never really thought of that... Wait! What if we made floating jellyfish that shoot chocolate at anything that moves to escape predators?!"
"I mean, sure… but that wouldn't make much sense. If they live on land, they'd dry up and die. You'd have to break every law of physics to make them work."
"Don't worry, little brother. What fun would it be if we made sense?"
He snapped his paw and summoned an array of creatures. Some of them I recognized—beasts pulled from myth: hydras, griffins, even centaur-minotaur hybrids.
The moment they finished forming, they immediately began hunting and attacking each other.
I quickly froze them in time and turned to Discord.
"Maybe… maybe you should give them habitats so they don't go extinct in five seconds."
"Oh, that's a great idea! While I handle that, why don't you make your own creatures?"
"Alright. But don't make their habitats too weird. I don't want them dying because the local flora is too hostile."
"Of course! Can't have our new playthings going extinct now!"
He then transformed into a small biplane and zoomed off on his merry way.
I laughed at his antics again and turned back to the frozen creatures.
Most, if not all of them, were predators. That gave me an idea.
If Discord made the predators, then I should make the prey. Balance, after all.
I thought long and hard about what animal to create—and finally, I had a spark of inspiration.
Why not make them resemble me?
Horses were perfect. Graceful, fast, and definitely prey animals.
So I created a dozen of them, varying in size and color.
I huffed proudly at my first creation and froze them in time, just in case they decided to run off.
---
A few hours passed, and Discord returned.
"I'm back!"
"Hey Discord. So, did you manage to make ecosystems for the creatures?"
"Yup! And not only that, I made sure the magical energy of the planet is completely safe for them!"
"Wait, the planet's magical? Huh… that explains the wooden wolves I ran into earlier. So this magic won't mutate our creations into eldritch horrors?"
"Of course not! Well… maybe just some slight mutations over the course of evolution—but who am I to predict nature?"
"Alright then. Let's place these guys into their new homes."
Discord nodded and teleported all the creatures we created into the ecosystems he'd built.
I hope this goes well.
The last thing I want is to wipe out an entire species just because they were too dangerous for the others.