"Are you still sulking about that whole red flag thing?"
I didn't answer Harriett as I put down her travelling bag inside the spare room in my apartment. I cannot believe the two of them had talked about me behind my back. Turns out Harriett had once mentioned it before during college to Annika and that's what stuck to her up until this moment.
She told Annika all about my previous paramours and that's how they both tagged me as a red flag.
"Pierce"
Harriett called as she stood right in front of me. I sulked more as I walked out of the room and sat on the couch.
Since she was renovating, I offered her the spare room in my apartment for the meantime. She hadn't declined and instead said that being inside her room does feel awkward to her now. To why that was I couldn't find the words to ask since I am making a show of sulking right now but I do have an idea.
"Arf"
I glanced when I saw that Akira was sitting comfortably on my couch.
"You don't think I'm a red flag do you Akira?"
I asked as I pet her cheeks, she barked as if she had understood my question. Not a moment later she was snuggling up close to me.
"Are you two making an alliance right now?"
I moved my gaze towards Harriett who was now leaning on the door frame with her arms crossed right in front of her. A smile now visible on her face.
"Atleast Akira doesn't see me as a red flag"
A chuckle escaped from her lips before she moved towards the couch and flopped down right beside me. Before I could get another word out she took Akira from my lap and replaced it with her head. And I caught my breath as I stared back at her eyes looking up at me.
"You should know better than anyone that just because you were a red flag before doesn't mean you'll still be one right now"
I let out a sigh as I twirl her hair between my fingers. Her long red hair was so soft to the touch. I traced her hair down to her eyebrows then to her cheeks. She's alive. Right now she's here with me breathing, alive, staring at me with her big bright brown eyes.
"Cheeky brat"
I commented as I pinch her cheeks lightly. A soft laugh bubbled up inside of her which made Akira who was in her belly bark.
"You don't find this uncomfortable?"
She asked a little while later but I only played with her hair more as I shook my head.
"I would never find you uncomfortable. Aren't you?"
She shook her head slightly and looked down at Akira.
"I just missed this feeling"
Surprisingly enough I get what she had meant. We were so close before that it felt so natural for us to just be like this with each other. But now that we had been apart I wouldn't be surprised if she had found it awkward or uncomfortable and yet that kind of feeling seemingly doesn't exist.
"Are you still sulking?"
She asked, eyes expectantly watching my expression. I let out a sigh before flicking her forehead lightly.
"Have I told you before how you're such a blabbermouth?"
As an answer she had just laughed and played with Akira as I watched them both. I smiled to myself as this peaceful scene right in front of me slowly unfold.
A little while later I stare at Harriett as her breathing deepens. Akira who was snuggling around her stomach was fast asleep too. I caressed Harriett's hair and cheeks before my gaze landed back to her exposed wrist. The scars were a lot more than I had initially seen before.
I haven't asked any questions yet and I don't have the courage to do so just yet. But I can't help but wonder if not asking right now might be a good thing or not. I don't know anything about how to deal with what Harriett's going through right now and I can't afford to make any mistakes.
I have to avoid things that might make her feel anxious or something that might trigger it.
And I may be walking on thin ice but it's so much better than not having Harriett with me at all.
Plus I do have the gist of it all, even if she doesn't want to tell me in the future I will be fine with it as long as she gets better.
As long as she doesn't turn to death whenever everything feels like too much. I'll stay by her side forever and make it so that she'll search for me instead of searching for death's hand.
"Let's start living happily Harriett, both you and me, together"