About half an hour earlier in the other trial room.
"CRAP! SHIT! FUCK! GOD DAMN IT!"
The dark lord has been evading and enduring traps for about half an hour while trying to solve the puzzle with little luck. His endless frustrations having devolved into cursing and swearing every time he stepped on a new trap.
"SHIT! HUH… Finally, a brown one. I'll get it this time for sure."
I have been slaving away at this ridiculous puzzle for half an hour, trying to figure out this puzzle. However, there are no safe places to stand while solving it as even the floor around this confounded contraption is booby-trapped. There are a handful of traps I can endure while standing still, though they still make it hard to concentrate. Thanks to my high elemental resistance I can endure some of the elemental based traps such as yellow and red, but when it comes to physical attacks like with green my only choice is to dodge. Blue would be great if I could find my footing and not slide right off it the moment It activates, and the purple one teleports me on to one of the already active tiles. My only chance to even attempt to solve this trial is to wait until the trap in front of the puzzle is reset and hope that the trap in front of it is either yellow, red, blue, brown or black. Though if I am being honest the only realistic options would be either brown or black, since black tiles don't do anything and the brown ones only make me slightly heavier, which is nothing my body can't handle. The only issue is…
"Almost there. Just one more block and I'm done… FU-"
*boom*
I must have attempted this thing over a hundred times already, and I've only gotten the yellow tiles 12 times, the red ones 9 times, the blue ones 4 times the brown ones 2 including this one and the black one, a big whooping 0 times. What's worse is that each and every time I failed, a hidden compartment in the machine opens up and fires an explosive in my face. I could deal with the heat, but the shockwave pushes me backwards onto another tile, sending me back to square one, as the tile will reset after about 10 seconds even if I step back on It. But if I had to point out the worst part of this whole thing it would be the audience.
"GO! YOU CAN DO IT HANDSOME!"
"WE BELIEVE IN YOU!"
"IF YOU GET IT THIS NEXT TIME I'LL GO ON A DATE WITH YOU!"
Those two miscreants had walked in ten minutes after me, saw my struggles, and decided this was the best time to have a lunch break, while I did all the work. The very thought of me working myself to the bone while these slothful perverts' benefit from my blood, sweat and tears is enough to make my blood boil. I swear if I don't at least castrate that exhibitionist who threw his sandwich in my face just because that lecherous woman blew me a kiss before we leave. I swear on the dark palace, the soul of the heavenly demon, and whatever gods care to listen, once I make it back home, I'll hunt them down and lynch them myself.
"YOU BASTARD! DON'T YOU DARE DO IT THIS TIME!"
I believe I owe Nox an apology, A few days ago I told her she was the most frustrating creature on this planet, but I see now I was oh so horribly wrong. I never thought I would ever meet someone more insufferable than her, let alone two of them at the same time. They actually make me wish Nox was here, just so she would chase them away. I would take her over these two morons any day.
*DING*DING*DING*
"Huff…huff…huff. I did it. Finally."
"YAY! You did it, and as promised when we get out of here, we will go straight to our date!" Miss Li said while jumping to grab at the dark lord's arm.
"YOU GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!" I yelled while throwing the fiercest bloodlust I have ever emitted in her face. My dark aura literally bursting out of me. The shockwave from the crimson black flames emanating from my body pushed that foul pervert back as it charred her skin black and turned any clothing that came into contact with it to ash. The exhibitionist who looked about ready to punch me a moment ago, wet his pants in terror as he stood there paralyzed in fear.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA"
I laughed as I finally let loose in what may have seemed like just a week but felt more like an eternity. In this liberating moment as I watched these lesser beings tremble before me, I thought to myself.
'This is how things should be'
"HAHAHAHAHA. *bang* Ugh"
Just then, as I was basking in my own greatness, I felt something land on my head, knocking me to the ground. This should have been impossible as my deathly aura was going at full power, possibly even beyond what I thought was my maximum output. The power of these flames would turn any physical matter to dust long before reaching me. So, it should be impossible for someone to make physical contact, and yet…
"Oh look, we found your friends! Hey, you still with me?"
A strangely familiar voice could be heard from atop my head.
*slap*slap*
"Hey, you awake yet. Wow. Oh, there you are. I was wondering where our friendly neighborhood playboy was."
I pulled my face out of the dirt as I stood up. Only to find a certain masked mage still balancing on the top of my head while holding up some guy by the collar as she tried to slap him awake. I was speechless. I don't know why, but at this moment all the rage and frustration were just blown out of me, as soon as my face hit the floor.
"What happened to you? You look like you just broke out of prison."
"Huh…huh."
I was so focused on the trial that I didn't notice my once luxurious top of the line silk clothing had been turned into dirty rags during the last trial. My face was covered in dirt from just now, and there is a crazed loli maniac sitting on my head while slapping some poor guy silly as two perverts watch.
"ha…ha"
I have killed and tortured people for less.
"ha..ha..h"
I should be furious, but for some reason.
"ha.ha.h"
I'm not.
"ha.haha.hahaha."
There is just something about this situation that's just so absolutely.
"HAHAHAHAHAH"
So, unbelievably.
"Are you alright?"
Just something I find so absurdly funny about my current predicament.