The guild hall had gone so quiet that Seth could hear the faint drip of spilled ale hitting the floorboards. Across from him, the blond idiot's face was twisted red with outrage, his polished gauntlet creaking as he gripped his sword hilt.
Valtheriz, of course, looked delighted."Ah, finally, a duel to remind me of the old days. Enemies groveling at my feet, their screams piercing the night—"
"Yeah," Seth muttered, "except this time it's not enemies, it's five overly-groomed adventurers who smell like they bathed in cheap cologne."
Valtheriz sniffed theatrically. "A monarch does not concern himself with the hygiene of peasants."
Seth pinched the bridge of his nose. "Then stop standing so close. I'm about to suffocate on musk and arrogance."
The blond adventurer drew his sword with a flourish that would have been impressive if the blade hadn't smacked the chair behind him, sending it clattering to the floor. His companions scrambled to look menacing. One of them twirled his mace and nearly brained the staff-wielding mage, who yelped and ducked.
"The hell are you doing?" she yelled.
"Sorry," the broad-shouldered man said half-heartedly.
Seth glanced towards his system screen again:
[Optional Quest: Defend Yourself]
{Rewards: ???}
Seth glared at the glowing words. "Optional, my ass. You just want me to get stabbed."
"What was that?" the blonde sneered.
"Talking to myself," Seth said flatly. "You wouldn't understand."
The guild receptionist looked like she wanted to sink through the floor. She glanced between the two groups, sweating bullets. "M-maybe we could—resolve this peacefully?"
Valtheriz raised a single pale hand, silencing the room with a theatrical gesture. "Fear not, fair maiden. I, Valtheriz Hollowshade, shall educate these worms on the price of insolence!"
He spread his cloak dramatically. Unfortunately, it caught on the table beside him, dragging an entire platter of mugs onto the floor. Ale exploded everywhere.
At this point, the guild hall was heavily invested in the free entertainment that was being provided for them.
Valtheriz froze, then slowly lowered his arm as though nothing had happened.
The blond adventurer snarled, swinging his sword up. "Enough games!" He lunged at Seth.
Instinctively, Seth dodged left, straight into the mage, who had just finished an incantation. The staff cracked against his shoulder, sparks flying in every direction. Both of them yelped as a chair caught fire.
Seth staggered upright, smoke curling off his sleeve.
Valtheriz finally moved. With supernatural grace, he blurred forward, his hand snapping out to grab the mace before it could crush Seth's skull. The blond's companion blinked, confused, until Valtheriz casually bent the weapon's handle like it was a piece of wire.
Valtheriz smirked. "You were saying?"
The man holding the now-bent mace whimpered, dropped it, and backed away.
The blond, red-faced and humiliated, roared, "Don't just stand there, kill them!"
Seth groaned. "You just had to say that, didn't you? As if the entire situation wasn't bad enough."
What followed wasn't really a fight so much as a series of escalating mishaps. The axe-wielder swung too wide and got stuck in a support beam. The mage tripped over her own robes, trying to dodge a thrown mug.
Seth, meanwhile, had grabbed a chair as a shield, swatting away blows he had no business surviving.
The ledger flickered again:
[Optional Quest Progress: 72%]
He yelled at it mid-swing. "How are you even grading me!? I'm not doing anything!"
Valtheriz simply strolled through the chaos, cloak flowing behind him as if he were walking down a royal carpet rather than through a bar brawl. Whenever someone lunged at him, he flicked a wrist, and they went flying into a wall or table with supernatural force.
Within minutes, the five so-called adventurers were groaning on the floor, their gleaming armor dented, pride shattered.
"Did we win?" Seth said in confusion.
The guild hall erupted in cheers, mugs raised in celebration. Someone shouted, "About time someone shut those idiots up!"
Seth stood in the middle of it all, breathing hard, chair still raised like a shield. His tunic now smoked from the fire and smelled vaguely of burnt wool.
The ledger pulsed one last time:
[Optional Quest Complete: Defend Yourself]
{Rewards Gained: {Ego Weaponry Unlocked.}}
The system screen altered as a new tab formed towards the bottom.
"Ego... Weaponry?" Seth whispered in confusion.
Valtheriz had a proud smirk on his face. "As I foretold, our glory is undeniable."
Seth eyed the wrecked guild hall, overturned tables, and unconscious adventurers. "Yeah, some real glory."
Valtheriz sniffed. "Mortals will sing of this day."
Seth sighed an exhale of relief until he suddenly remembered something.
He turned around until he locked eyes with the guild receptionist.
"Hey... I know we kind of ruined your place, and uh... sorr-"
"Get out."