Chapter 34: The MILF Whisperer
At present, I'm sitting down in the Belphegor Manor's dining room. Sandwiched in between my fiancée who's on the chair to my left, clenching my arm while I'm using my Dryadic Blessing to tend to her extensive wounds, and Lady Leviathan, my new boss, who's sat on the chair to my right—who I'm tending to just the same.
Why aren't we in Roygun's bedroom anymore, you ask?
Well, it's because that room no longer exists.
As a matter of fact, the manor is missing the entirety of its top floor, which has now been reduced to frozen chunks of concrete, brick, and all sorts of raw materials because of Lady Leviathan's Ice Manipulation, which were first turned into rubble thanks to Roygun's "Crack" ability.
The only reason they even stopped at all was out of consideration for us mere mortals below them who would have perished in the crossfire had they allowed their altercation to escalate.
Satan-Class devils truly are a force to be reckoned with—I've never been more glad that the bad blood between Sebastian and Martha never turned into anything physical.
Thora and Halibel are also here, for some reason, sitting on the complete opposite end of the dining table with fear written all over their faces, probably because of the passive hostility that's leaking off these two monstrous women.
Hmph, what are they getting all jittery for? I'm the one who's positioned smack-dab in the middle of their animosity! They're supposedly here to talk about "visitation terms" or something of the sort and have decided to use me as their Switzerland to prevent them from attacking each other while they talk.
How the hell do they expect me to fulfill that role? A mild twitch from either of them would cause my arm to snap like a twig!
"Uhm," I hesitated, my gaze flicking back and forth between the two. "Aren't you guys going to say anything?" The terms aren't going to negotiate themselves, ladies.
"Why should I?" Roygun scowled, continuing to stare Lady Leviathan down with immense scorn. "All she has to do is nod and the conversation will be over, you're my fiancé, it's only natural that I'm allowed to visit your territory whenever I please. Even if it's in the human world."
"First of all," the Satan glared right back. "Kuoh Town doesn't belong to Alduin. It belongs to my little sister and Sirzechs'. He's stationed there as their protector on my behalf since he's my employee as a representative in my department of Foreign Affairs."
"Petty semantics," Roygun muttered under her breath.
"Second of all, you're not even a part of our government yet. You should be grateful that I'm even taking this into consideration at all. By law, I could arrest you for trespassing if you were to even breathe on Kuoh's soil without my direct permission."
"Oh my, I'm terrified. Whatever will I do in the wake of the five-century-year-old virgin?" Roygun replied dryly, her upper eyelids cutting her pupils.
Crack!
The wooden surface of the dining table split right open as Lady Leviathan's twintails started to rise upward, her body enveloping itself in a dark, ghastly aura that made me think she was about to run it for a second time.
"You're lucky your fiancé's shielding that cowardly shell of yours, Roygun."
But to my immense delight, she ultimately chose to relent and cast aside her animosity, at least for the time being.
Thank Lucifer.
"Sure, whatever you say femcel."
Once I have the chance, I'll definitely ask them what the root of all this contempt is. Also, where the hell did Roygun learn what a "femcel" is? DeviNet doesn't exist in Extra Demon territory, that's for sure. A result of paranoia about our government spying on them.
"Would you stop with that already?! I'm willing to bet the two of you haven't done it yet!" She slammed her palms against the table, causing it to shudder and splinter even further.
"If believing that makes you feel better, then be my guest." Goodness me, my fiancée's proving to be quite the provocateur, isn't she? "Now hurry up and tell me what your frivolous conditions are, me and my fiancé have important business to attend to, of course, it's all stuff you wouldn't understand so I won't bore a spinster like you with the details."
"S-SPINSTER?!" Lady Leviathan clenched her fists, her face turning beet red like a tomato.
I have no idea what that word means, but clearly, it was enough to render her positively outraged.
Good grief… I'm going to have to find a way to keep these two separated from now on, aren't I? Sigh, just another addition to the endlessly increasing pile of tasks I need to handle.
"Spinster? I don't recall saying such a thing. You must've imagined it." Roygun insisted, showcasing some of her gaslighting abilities as well. "Hurry up and tell me what your conditions are already. Like I said, I've got work to do."
"Y-you… Ugh!" Please hold it in Lady Leviathan, the rest of us non Satan-Class devils here would like to continue living if possible. "Fine. Firstly, you can't enter Kuoh Town without notifying me beforehand andgetting my explicit approval for you to enter the area."
Roygun furrowed her brow. "Why should I inform you? My fiancé's the one guarding the territory on your behalf, isn't he?"
But Lady Leviathan scoffed in return. "Don't make me laugh. If I put him in charge of clearing you, you'd just pressure him into accepting every time you made a request, regardless of the circumstances." Her eyes narrowed. "Similar to how you were pressuring him back in your bedroom."
"Hmph, I've never pressured my darling into doing anything. As a matter of fact, he enjoyed what we had going on back there, isn't that right, darling?" Roygun's arms snaked around my neck as she leaned in close, staring at me with an expectant gaze that dared me to give her an answer she didn't like.
Aren't you literally pressuring me right now?
"U-uhm…" But at the same time, I was getting a similar look from Lady Leviathan. I think this is what they call being stuck between a rock and a hard place…
"I said, isn't that right, darling?" She repeated, sending beads of sweat dripping down my face.
Ah fuck it, Thora and Halibel obviously can't do anything about these behemoths so I might as well use what I've learned from Sebastian's mistakes.
Happy wife, happy life.
I cleared my throat. "Y-yes, that's right."
Sorry, Lady Leviathan, but I've got my priorities. It's not like I'm even lying, cuddling her was quite the experience if I do say so myself.
"See?" Roygun beamed, squishing her face against mine. "Now that that's established, you can go ahead and continue with your trifling little list of demands."
"Secondly…" Honestly, the fact that Lady Leviathan hasn't burst into a fit of rage yet is deserving of my utmost respect. "You can only visit Kuoh on your own. No peerage members, servants, or acquaintances can accompany you. You're only there for visitation purposes, nothing more."
"That's fine with me," she shrugged. "I'm the only face he needs to see. Anyone else would be needless baggage."
Isn't that a little harsh? Your Knight's sitting right there… oh well, it's not my place to get in between her and her peerage.
"Thirdly, while you're there, you're required to respect the authority of our little sisters. They're the overseers of Kuoh, which means whatever they say goes, regardless of your ranking as an Ultimate-Class Devil. Understood?" Lady Leviathan seemed particularly adamant about that stipulation, that's not surprising. She clearly cares deeply for Sona.
"Yeah, yeah, understood," Roygun replied offhandedly while checking her nails, clearly not paying much attention. "Is that all?"
"No, there's one more condition." The Satan's gaze steeled, stressing how important the final term was. "Under no circumstances are you to engage in combat with anyone in the human world, especially non-devils. I'm sure you understand how disastrous the ripple effect would be if a Satan-Class devil were to start a conflict up there?"
"Mm, I know." Roygun met her with an equally hardened stare. "However, what if I'm attacked first? And possibly by a Satan-Class existence? Would you have me sit there and take it?"
"As satisfying as that'd be," she snickered. "No, if such a disaster were to occur, your priority would be to take everyone stationed there and help them flee back to the Underworld, where they'll be safe. That's our responsibility as the older generation, isn't it? To protect the future."
Roygun huffed. "I don't need you to tell me that."
Lady Leviathan nodded approvingly. "Of course, if retreat isn't an option—then you can go ahead and fight, assuming it's truly the only option available. However, I expect you to prioritize my precious So-tan's safety above all! ☆ I imagine Sirzechs will presume the same for Rias."
"And what about my darling? He's strong, but he's not Satan-Class—" she proceeded to smile warmly at me, "—yet."
That's quite the expectation… but I appreciate the vote of confidence.
Then again, I did promise myself I'd climb my way up to Martha and Sebastian's seemingly out-of-reach prowess, didn't I?
It might sound a little arrogant, but for what it's worth, I am the first among my generation to become an Ultimate-Class existence, even if I'm currently at the bottom of the barrel within that echelon. If anyone has a shot at breaking through the infinitely taller wall that is the barrier between Ultimate-Class and Satan-Class, I think it might be me.
Granted, I'd be remiss to forget that lion, the only one who can match my foolishness. What was the saying again? Hardwork is a talent in itself. Like me, he decided to set a goal for himself that gives him no other option but to reach that realm, or perhaps even one that lies even further beyond…
"Alduin's there as Rias and Sona's Guardian," she turned to me. "You understand what that means, don't you?" Her gaze was firmer than steel, and I met her fixated stare in kind.
"Roygun, Lady Leviathan's right," I assured her, my demeanor unwavering. "I promised to be their Guardian in the presence of both her and Lord Lucifer, not just as a flimsy title, but a responsibility. One I intend to fulfill. If worse comes to pass, then it's obvious what needs to be done." Everyone already knew what I was talking about, so I decided it was best not to state such a thing aloud.
Immediately, I sensed Roygun's stark disapproval. "That may be, but you have another responsibility to fulfill—to me." Her posture grew heavy. "You're my fiancé. Your life doesn't solely belong to you anymore. Half of it's mine. If you fail to preserve yourself, then you'll have killed half of me. Is that what you want?"
"No, not in a million years." I leaned against her, hoping to offer her some comfort. "I may have a duty to adhere to, but us Bunés don't go down that easily. I'm not sure if you're aware, but the last time one of us went down in combat, it was by the hand of a Heavenly Dragon."
"Oh? Comparing yourself to your ancestor? How bold." Oh, she does know. I guess I'm not the only one who researched my eventual partner. "Whatever the case, dying is unacceptable. If you do, I'll drop down to Hades' land of the dead and drag you out of there myself—and you'll spend the rest of your existence tied up in my basement as punishment. Got it?"
"G-got it…" I've gone ahead and gotten myself quite the scary fiancée, haven't I?
"Ugh, how cheesy." Lady Leviathan visibly cringed. "Now, do you accept my conditions or not? I want to hurry this up and take Alduin to Kuoh already. The sooner he's properly introduced to Sona, the better." Oi, aren't you forgetting my other protectee?
"Yes, I accept." I noticed Roygun's tone shift, a distinct pout appearing across her face.
Ah, I see what's wrong.
"Lady Leviathan—"
"Serafall," she insisted. "You're my employee now. You'll either refer to me by name or as Levi-tan! ☆ Anything else will be met with harsh punishment, 'kay? ☆."
Right, I forgot she wanted me to call her that, force of habit.
"S-sorry, Serafall. This might sound a little presumptuous of me, but I'd like to request something of you." I dipped my head out of respect.
"Oh?" She folded her arms. "Go on."
"If possible, I'd like to spend the rest of the day here before I assume my duties in the human world."
"Pardon?"
Her displeasure was immediate, and I couldn't blame her. It kinda sounds like I'm trying to ditch my part of the agreement here just to frolic with my fiancée… which isn't entirely untrue. But it's for the right reasons! I swear!
"I'll head to the human world first thing in the morning. You have my absolute word on that. It's just… there's still quite a bit that me and Roygun need to discuss, and it could be a while until we have an opportunity to do so. I'm not sure it's a good idea for me to begin working if my mind's preoccupied."
"Yeah… because that's totally all you're thinking about." Shit, did I just dig my own grave? "Sigh, very well…" she sighed. "Rias and Sona are still in the process of getting settled down. I suppose waiting another day wouldn't hurt anyone. But remember, first thing tomorrow, no exceptions or further delays. Otherwise, I'll freeze you and drag you up there myself."
Phew.
"Thank you, Serafall." I bowed, expressing my appreciation.
"Mm," she hummed her acknowledgment. "I've got some business to handle at present. I'll be back first thing in the morning." Enveloped in the light of a teleportation circle once more, she took her leave.
"Alduin," Roygun spoke, the slight shake in her tone worrying me.
"Yes?"
"Look at me."
"What's wro—" The second my face was pointed in the direction of hers', she made her move. "Mmmpphh!" Her lips crashed into mine with abandon, exposing me to the immense softness and warmth of her pink cherry lips with no prior warning whatsoever.
Her hands latched onto my face as she pressed the kiss deeper, giving me no chance to speak as her tongue slid its way in between my lips and into my mouth, pushing it in with a kind of ferocity I hadn't expected even from her, especially not out of the blue.
I'm sorry Thora, I can't even imagine how awkward this must be for you…
"Hah… R-Roygun… that was a little sudden, don't you think?" I muttered as she finally decided to give me a breather, pulling away and leaving nothing but a trail of saliva that connected the tips of our tongues.
Talk about erotic, I'm obviously not going to say it aloud in the presence of Thora and Halibel, but I enjoyed the fuck out of that. I'd just rather have it happen in a more private setting.
"I'm sorry Alduin, but you brought that on yourself. I couldn't help it." At least her mood's doing better, a lot better, evidently.
"Would ya' look at that? Yer' Young Lord's already managed to charm ta' Lady on his first day here. Quite impressive, don't cha' think?" Halibel spoke to Thora, audibly enough for both me and Roygun to hear—which I'm willing to bet was done purposefully.
"I-it's n-not my place to comment on such m-matters…" The number of times I've seen Thora break character can be counted on one hand, but watching our kiss seems to be enough to add another count to the tally.
"Sorry, haha…" I wasn't sure what else to do but apologize and chuckle nervously.
I can't believe I'm only realizing this now, but getting closer to Thora from now on is going to be far more difficult than I imagined, isn't it?
———
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