“I was haunted by a nightmare, a recollection of the past,” she admitted.
As she recalled the imagery of those terrible moments, she shrank away from Terran’s embrace. Thinking that she was still cold, the man simply tightened his grip on her. Though she knew this was different, she couldn’t help tensing up. Being nestled in the arms of any man was uncomfortable after such dreams.
“When you say the past, do you mean during your time in the capital?”
“Yes, it happened in the castle where I was born and raised, the place I had always felt safe. That is, until the day of the revolution.”
Staring into the dancing flames, Lysithea took a deep breath and continued.
“They were just putting the rope around my neck when the son of the revolutionary party’s leader pulled me from the makeshift gallows, claiming he had another use for me.” Lysithea’s mind wandered tentatively through these traumatic memories. She considered indulging in more liquid courage but found the strength to continue. “He offered me my life in exchange for becoming his plaything.”
Despite the awkwardness of being in a strange man’s arms while retelling this horrific event, Terran’s silent attentiveness enveloped her in a cocoon of comfort.
“Is that how you survived?”
At Terran’s inquiry, Lysithea turned around to face him. Up close, with the fire’s flames dancing in their reflection, his eyes might have been the color of liquid gold.
“No,” she said and took a deep breath. “He tried to rape me when I turned him down, but he was not able to defile me.”
“So what happened?”
“He did not see the pistol I had hidden. When he mounted me, I shot him.”
Rather than the look of pity she was expecting, Terran’s features stretched into astonishment. If she wasn’t mistaken, she even caught sight of a half-formed smile as he asked, “You’re talking about Bran, the son of the revolutionary leader, right? You killed him?”
“That’s right.”
Upon hearing her affirmation, Terran let out a hearty laugh, its echoes filling the cavern.
“Do you find my story unbelievable? I’ll have you know, it’s no laughing matter,” she said, a flush of embarrassment coloring her cheeks.
“Of course not,” Terran replied as he attempted to compose himself. “While it is difficult to believe that one such as yourself could bring an end to that man, I have no choice but to trust your word. Besides, everything you said makes perfect sense.” He took a moment to steady his breath and narrowed his eyes as if seeing her anew. “So, you’re the one who killed him. I never would’ve imagined that it was you all this time.”
“You speak as if you knew him personally.”
“I wouldn’t go that far, but there is no one who hasn’t heard his name. When word got out that the notorious Bran had been shot dead right between the eyes, everyone naturally suspected that it was the work of a professional assassin.”
Lysithea had been so focused on running that she had never caught wind of these rumors, so this was all news to her. All this time, she was sure that she was now being targeted because she had killed the revolutionary leader’s son.
“Do you mean that no one knows I was the culprit?”
“No one even suspects you,” Terran said, his eyes glittering with intrigue. “But ‘culprit’ is hardly the right word. That would imply that you are guilty when you did nothing wrong.”
“But I committed murder.”
“It was self-defense,” he replied, his large hand gently cradling her back. His fingers began to trace unknown patterns that sent goosebumps up her skin. “Who could blame you if they knew the full story? You could not simply allow him to have his way with you. Any court in the kingdom would rule that you had no choice but to kill in order to escape.”
It was an odd comfort, but Lysithea found solace in his words. Moreover, she wasn’t at all repulsed by the caress of his hand upon her back. That, too, was strange.
“You’re quite presumptuous,” she said, pushing her back against his hand. “Here I was, assuming you were only helping me for the money, but suddenly you show such tenderness.”
“Perhaps I had to change my strategy after you ran off and nearly got yourself killed. Did you ever think about that?” he asked, his hand never staying still as it glided over the bumps of her spine. “Can’t let all my efforts go to waste now, can I?”
“What efforts would those be?”
“Lysithea, you can’t imagine how hard I worked to secure this deal.” His eyes narrowed, causing her to avert her own in shame. “When I discovered you missing, I was frantic.”
“I’m sorry,” she murmured, her heart clenching as she revisited the memories from hours before. She regretted bringing any of this up, wishing that she had instead just gone to sleep, tipsy on liquor.
Watching regret fill her gaze, Terran asked, “Why didn’t you come to me last night?”
“How could I? After what I just told you about my experience killing Bran, how could I trust another man in the dead of night?”
“Am I that frightening to you?”
Frightening was the wrong word.
He was certainly physically intimidating, but he had always been kind, even gentlemanly at times, such as when he served her meals. Still, the thought of seeking out Terran and asking to be sheltered for the night crushed her pride. She worried about appearing too vulnerable. But all those fears were excuses. The real reason was something else entirely.
“It’s not you that I’m afraid of in particular,” she admitted. “It’s the fear that you’ll abandon me, that you’ll leave me to die or fend for myself that terrifies me.”
“Why would you think I would do that?” Terran asked, bewildered.
“Do you not recall? You said so yourself that if an assassin were to come after me, you’d pretend not to know me.” He had proven that he would pursue her to keep her safe, but could she trust that he would defend her again? She looked down, her voice a whisper. “There is also the fact that I hear horrible sounds at night that you claim to be unaware of. It’s as if I’m the only one who’s out of place. Perhaps I was meant to die that day. Maybe I’m not supposed to be here at all.”
Lysithea bit her lip, a sense of injustice and frustration threatening to bring her to tears.
Although she lived under the same roof as Terran, she did not feel truly alive anymore. She might as well have been the specter aimlessly wandering the abandoned manor, pale and terrified and without any influence on the person beside her. Ever since the day she lost everything, she had felt like nothing more than a wisp of wind. Still, Lysithea longed to settle down. She yearned to be accepted, understood, and empathized with—to end this wretched life on the run.
Terran’s fingers on her back brought her out of her reverie.
“I might have said that to you, but did I abandon you?” he asked quietly.
Lysithea had no answer. Everyone had left her, so it was only a matter of time before Terran followed suit. Yet there he was, right beside her.
“You know, someone who doesn’t care whether you live or die wouldn’t follow you through a blizzard, kill a wolf for you, carry you to safety, kindle a fire, and then strip you down to warm you in his arms,” he murmured in a low voice. “Do actions not speak louder than words?”
“That’s not––”
“Would you rather I leave you here now and ride off alone? Would that fit the ending you’ve built up in your head?”
Lysithea’s lips trembled at this thought, but she could not speak.
“Tell me honestly,” Terran said, his face now so close to hers that their noses nearly collided. “What is it that you truly want?”
Lysithea hesitated before admitting in a voice that grew smaller with each word, “I don’t want you to leave me.”
Terran smiled with satisfaction. After licking his lips, he brought his mouth close to her ear and whispered, “I’ll stay by your side, so don’t run off on your own again. I nearly lost my mind seeing that empty room.”
“Were you really that worried?”
“Do you have to ask that after all I have done?”
It was true. Terran had traversed the storm-swept wilderness in search of her. However, this thought presented a question as she thought back to the moments before her escape attempt.
“You brought fresh water to my room last night. Why?”
“I figured you might wish to wash up. You called out my name when I knocked, so I entered.”
“What?” she replied in shock. “I did no such thing!”
“You were talking in your sleep. In fact, you were calling out my name quite fervently,” he recalled with a chuckle. “I still wonder what dream you were having. You had this terribly upset look on your face.” Terran paused as if a thought had just occurred to him. “You mentioned nightmares earlier? You were dreaming about the awful thing that almost happened to you.”
“Yes, but that’s not––”
“Were you imagining it was me in his shoes?”
While Lysithea could see how he might come to this conclusion, it wasn’t true at all. Still, explaining her odd dream was not so simple. How could she admit she had been dreaming of the Phantom pursuing her while Terran refused to let her back in the manor? It seemed terribly unfair, given how he had just saved her life.
When she didn’t immediately answer, Terran continued, a bitter edge to his voice.
“So that’s what I am to you? A rapist?”
“No, that’s not it at all!”
“That explains why you didn’t come to my room. Even in your dreams, you fear me.”
“I was trying to get to you!” Lysithea blurted out and quickly averted her face. In a smaller voice, she explained, “In my dreams, I was running to you, but you pushed me away.”
His fingers found their way to her chin. With a gentle nudge, he brought her gaze back to his. Terran’s eyes were twinkling mischievously.
“You wanted to come to me? Then why didn’t you try tonight? I’d have been safer than the wolves.”
“Like I told you before, I ran away because of the nightmare, not because I was worried you’d hurt me.”
“Are you going to continue having nightmares?”
“It’s not something I can control.”
“That is not entirely true,” he replied. “Dreams are ultimately about one’s mindset. If you keep feeling anxious about what nearly came to pass two months ago, the nightmares will persist. If you have another, then what?”
“I won’t run away anymore,” she said. “But I cannot promise I won’t have any more nightmares.”
“Then shall I help?” Terran offered.
“How can you be of help?”
“I can make that memory fade away.”
“How?” she asked, curiosity flickering in her eyes.
Terran took a deep breath as though preparing to leap into a pool of icy water.
“Use me.”
The two words sent a chill down her spine.
“If the ordeal you nearly faced that day continues to haunt you,” he whispered, the hand that had been exploring her back now diving lower to graze her thigh, “then let’s replace your nightmares with something sweeter.”
“Something sweeter?” she repeated, stifling the gasp that nearly escaped her lips.
“Don’t play innocent with me,” Terran said before kissing her shoulder. “You know exactly what I’m suggesting.”
Startled by the sudden intimacy, Lysithea tensed up and tried to pull away, but his arms held her with a gentle firmness.
“I have no intention of getting shot like some would-be assailant,” he said, his low, resonating voice bridging the gap between their breaths. “So, if you wish me to stop, you need only say the word.”
Staring into his penetrating eyes, Lysithea felt that although he had given her the right to refuse, it no longer felt like a genuine option. It wasn’t a matter of not trusting him; she knew that he would not force himself on her. But the attraction was too strong to resist.
As his fingers slid over her flesh, it left wakes of warmth that seeped inside her, speeding up her heart and heightening her senses. Did she wish to push him away, or would she regret not drawing even closer?
Seizing her brief moment of hesitation, Terran pulled her body against his own with a decisive tug. Their lips brushed lightly, touching in a tentative greeting before parting. With her cheeks flushed from the tender contact and his breath hot on her face, he asked in a low voice, “Are you planning to shoot me?”
His hand trailed up her side, slipping over her ribs and under the layer of fabric covering her chest.
Unconsciously biting her lip, Lysithea exhaled loudly. Though his touch was equal parts unfamiliar and unexpected, she was not revulsed in the slightest. In fact, he seemed to be testing boundaries, each touch confirming that she would not push him away before moving on to his next target.
“Why are you doing this?” she asked, her words strained as she struggled to breathe. “Is this for me? Or for yourself?”
Terran smiled softly and replied, “Let’s just say that I am intent on making sure our contract is fulfilled smoothly. Consider it a new condition to our agreement. If I ensure you don’t have any nightmares, there will be no reason for you to think of running away.”
“And what if you become my nightmare?”
“Don’t worry,” he assured her, reaching behind her to unfasten her brassiere. “I guarantee you won’t want to wake from this dream.”
Lysithea clenched her eyes shut.
His words echoed in her ears, and she wondered if even a siren could compare with his tender whisper. The alluring presence of his body only deepened her indecision, and his delicate touches stifled her will to resist—or perhaps she never had any intention to thwart his advances in the first place.
“Terran, if I come to regret this––” she murmured, but her hesitation was an opening he would not miss. He devoured the rest of her words. She instinctively closed her mouth, but his tongue parted her lips with ease, exploring her soft mouth with a possessiveness that was far removed from the polite pecks she had exchanged with other aristocrats.
His was an indulgent and unforgiving kiss.
Lysithea attempted to pull away to catch her breath, but Terran’s hand swiftly cradled her cheek, pulling her back for more. He consumed her as if quenching a deep thirst. She grasped his shoulders to push him away, but her body acted on its own accord, instead dragging him closer.
Terran wrapped her in the fur blanket he was wearing and gently laid her on the ground, positioning himself atop her. Overwhelmed by the heat radiating off him, Lysithea bowed her head, but Terran again lifted her chin. His kiss this time was more tender, and he opened her mouth by sucking on her lower lip.
Pulling back, he whispered, “If you think you’ll regret it, don’t hesitate for my sake. I left the pistol right above your head, well within your reach.”
Lysithea did not even look back to see where he was indicating, instead keeping her gaze firmly on Terran. His eyes were filled with intense excitement, yet he wore no playful expression. What drove this man to such fervor? These thoughts soon faded away as he leaned down again, the entwining of their bodies silencing her mind.
Having no experience, Lysithea was unfamiliar with her own erogenous zones, but she could now attest that her lips seemed to be one. With every flick of his tongue, every merciless press of his lips, an unbearable pleasure pierced through her body and soul. And with every twitch of her body and every heady breath she exhaled, Terran pressed forward with increased vigor.
Lysithea’s own moans were foreign to her, but holding them back was above her current capabilities.
“Terran, I’m not sure about this.”
“Stop thinking,” he breathed out.
His robust frame wedged further between her thighs, her body already yielding to his advances. For Lysithea, a virgin to all things concerning the physical aspects of pleasure, there was no other choice but to surrender the steering of this ship to the more experienced Terran. Still, she could not help the instinct to draw her legs together even as she wrapped her arms clumsily around his neck.
Terran responded by seizing her ankles and, in one swift movement, pulling them behind his waist.
“Seeing you open like this only makes me all the more eager to enter you,” he murmured as he nibbled at her ear lobes.
Despite the tingles rolling down her neck, Lysithea clenched her eyes shut, worrying about what was to come. She hadn’t yet imagined that next step in detail, and now she was wondering what it would feel like and whether it would hurt.
When she opened her eyes again, he must have seen the confusion in them.
“Wait,” he said, propping himself up so as not to place too much weight on her. “This isn’t your first time, is it?”
“As I already said, I was not ‘taken’ that day.”
A look of surprise pulled at Terran’s features.
“But you were engaged with Prince Jade. You two never—?”
“I was officially his betrothed,” Lysithea said, cutting him off. “But he never touched me.”
She was fully aware of the implication behind his reaction. The prince was a notorious playboy, but he had never touched his fiancée, preferring the company of courtesans.
Needing a moment to accept that she was a virgin, Terran paused to contemplate. Finally, he released a deep sigh.
“What’s wrong?” Lysithea asked, feeling as though he were now underestimating her. “You don’t need to go easy on me just because it’s my first time.”
“Are you sure you want to give me such open permission?”
Suddenly shifting his approach, Terran buried his lips into the nape of her neck. His lips slowly traced her throat and trailed down to her collarbone, savoring the taste of her skin. With every brush of his tongue, a tickling sensation roiled about in her abdomen.
“Terran, wait a moment,” she said, her body language not matching her words. “Something feels strange.”
“Where?” he asked, his lips tracing a path down to the sensitive skin under her arm and then back along the side of her breast. “Here?”
Little by little, Terran peeled away her brassiere, exposing her soft breasts. He kissed along the upper slope, working his way between her cleavage, causing Lysithea to grasp his hair.
“Lift your body a bit,” he instructed her.
“Why, what are you going to do?”
As if in answer, he slid his arms beneath her back, supporting her body in his embrace. This positioned her chest prominently before his face. Overwhelmed with embarrassment, Lysithea closed her eyes, but the truly embarrassing moment had yet to happen. She had only ever heard of infants suckling on nipples, but hers stood erect as if in anticipation.
Terran enveloped the tips of her breasts with his lips, sucking and pressing around them with his tongue. Each brush against the sensitive buds, slippery with his saliva, sent a thrilling surge of pleasure through her body. She writhed beneath him, wanting to pull away but instinctively pushing her chest deeper against his mouth.
“No! Wait. Please!”
“Struggle more,” he said. “Your whimpers are delicious.”
“No, don’t…” She thrashed against him, having completely forgotten that Terran’s arms were holding her aloft. “Stop!”
Though a cloak lay between them and the hard ground, it did little to soften the blows as her elbows connected with the earth. Undeterred, Terran continued feasting on her breasts, his fingers busy slipping off the fabric covering her lower body. Lysithea’s head jolted up in surprise when she felt his touch reaching further down.
“Don’t,” she said, unable to meet his eyes. “It’s wet.”
“Embarrassed, are we? I happen to like it wet.”
His firm gaze locked on her fluttering eyelashes, he stroked the sensitive bud between her legs with the tip of his fingers. An entirely new pleasure ran through her body. Lysithea had sometimes touched herself, but the sensation of a man was incomparable in its intensity.
Terran’s fingers were relentless. He did not seem concerned that she was on the verge of fainting from how overwhelming it all was. The repetitive motion never ceased its torment. Even when quivers seized her body, he only gave her a few moments to breathe before beginning again.
“Terran, stop,” she gasped. “I can’t take it anymore!”
“But we have only just begun.”
“You’re going to kill me at this rate,” she said, but her back was arching again, her thoughts melting away.
With his low voice in her ear combined with the ceaseless ebb and flow of her arousal, she was brought to satisfaction multiple times. Yet, he did not tire. In the brief interims between each overlapping session, Lysithea wondered if this would be enough to transform her nightmares into erotic dreams.
Or would they need to engage in more heated battles of the flesh?