In the miraculously intact Jedi Archives within the Temple, a young Mirialan Padawan sat alone at a reading table, staring blankly at texts she wasn't truly processing.
She'd been there most of the day—ever since returning from the devastating battle on Jabiim.
For days now, Barriss Offee had been experiencing an internal conflict she couldn't properly define. She'd hoped that studying the ancient texts might help her understand the storm of emotions that had been raging within her since Jabiim, but the words seemed to blur together meaninglessly.
Thinking about that moment, she sighed heavily and buried her face in her hands.
Barriss sat motionless, unaware of anyone approaching until she heard the soft scrape of a chair being pulled out beside her.
Looking up from her hands, she saw her closest friend settling down next to her—Ahsoka Tano.
"I've been looking everywhere for you," Ahsoka said with mild irritation.
The Mirialan Padawan didn't respond immediately, watching silently as Ahsoka made herself comfortable.
"Is something wrong?" Barriss asked quietly.
"Besides everything that's happened in the past week?" Ahsoka replied dryly. "No, nothing at all."
Ahsoka leaned forward against the table, crossing her arms and resting her chin on them.
"Master Unduli's looking for you too," Ahsoka said gently, causing Barriss to flinch slightly. "She seemed worried."
"She is?" Barriss asked, more to herself than her friend. "I should apologize to her."
"You should," Ahsoka agreed. "But first, you need to tell me what's bothering you."
"What?"
"You're obviously troubled by something," her friend pointed out. "It's written all over your face. I've never seen you like this before."
Barriss opened her mouth to deflect, but Ahsoka continued before she could speak.
"When I found you, you looked like you were in genuine distress," Ahsoka finished. "Come on, Barriss. What's wrong? You can talk to me."
Instead of answering immediately, the Padawan turned back to the table and placed her arms on its surface, interlacing her fingers.
She sighed wearily, closing her eyes and letting her shoulders slump.
"I'm... conflicted."
Ahsoka raised an eyebrow. "Conflicted about what?"
"It's... complicated."
"How complicated can it be?"
Barriss shook her head. "It makes me question everything."
Ahsoka leaned forward, now genuinely concerned about her friend's state of mind.
"Question what?" Ahsoka pressed, and Barriss let out an uncharacteristic sound of frustration.
"Everything," Barriss said, crossing her arms with an uncertain expression. "I don't know how to process this. I've been thinking about it every day since Jabiim, and it's keeping me awake at night."
"That would explain the dark circles under your eyes," Ahsoka muttered, then caught herself as Barriss gave her a hurt look. "Sorry, sorry. That came out wrong."
"Ahsoka..." Barriss said softly. "What am I supposed to do?"
"It might help to get another perspective," Ahsoka suggested. "So talk to me. What exactly is bothering you?"
Barriss fell silent again, clearly trying to figure out how to articulate her thoughts.
"Something happened on Jabiim... No," she corrected herself, scrunching up her face. "It's been building for a while. I just didn't fully understand it before."
"What's been building? How did I not notice?" Ahsoka asked, moving her chair closer to her friend. "Is it... like a disturbance? Something in the Force?"
"It's..." Barriss was staring down at her lap now. "Certain thoughts... that led to feelings I'd never really considered before."
This was deeply unsettling to Ahsoka. Seeing her usually composed and serene friend in such turmoil was genuinely frightening.
"Go on..."
"For the past few days, I've been searching through the Archives hoping they'd provide some answers," Barriss said, her expression shifting to frustration. "But they've only left me more confused! I can't simply suppress these feelings because they've been growing inside me for so long. I just can't."
Ahsoka could see that whatever was going through Barriss's mind was causing her real distress. She reached out and took her friend's hand, speaking calmly.
"What is it, Barriss?" Ahsoka's voice was barely above a whisper. "What's happening?"
Her friend didn't respond.
"Please, Barriss, you have to tell me," Ahsoka almost pleaded. "I hate seeing you like this. How can I help? Just tell me—"
"It's Peter."
Ahsoka blinked in surprise at the mention of their currently injured friend.
"Peter?" Ahsoka said, confused. "What does this have to do with him?"
"When I think about it more, the feelings might have started with him. But I didn't pay much attention to them. Until Jabiim."
"What happened then?"
Barriss swallowed hard and looked away from her friend.
She was trembling now, gripping both Ahsoka's hand and the fabric of her robes tightly.
"Seeing him hurt," Barriss's voice shook. "Seeing him almost die."
This left Ahsoka at a loss. "And then?"
"Ahsoka... please don't tell anyone," Barriss said suddenly. "Please, before I explain, you have to promise you won't tell anyone. Not even your Master."
This really wasn't what Ahsoka had expected when she'd found her friend brooding in the Archives. But she could see how desperately her friend needed this assurance, so she nodded slowly.
"I promise," Ahsoka said reassuringly, placing her free hand on Barriss's shoulder. "This stays between us."
Barriss took a moment to compose herself.
"On Jabiim, I encountered two people—Mak and Cass—doing something I never expected," Barriss said. "Something that goes against everything we've been taught as Jedi."
"They broke the Jedi Code?" Ahsoka asked with genuine surprise.
"In a way that even your rebellious Master wouldn't dare," Barriss said, shocking Ahsoka with the statement.
"What were they doing?" Ahsoka asked, now completely absorbed in her friend's story.
"They said things that disturbed me and made me question my own feelings."
"What kind of things?" Ahsoka asked, confused.
Barriss nodded shakily. "Before that, I was startled... when I saw them... together."
Ahsoka blinked in confusion. "Together? I don't understand—"
"Together together," Barriss clarified. "They were holding each other. Kissing."
"Oh!" Ahsoka's eyes widened. "Together... like romantically?"
"They told me they loved each other," Barriss revealed. "That when the war ends, they're going to leave the Jedi Order to be together."
Ahsoka was speechless.
Leaving the Order? For... for love?
The concept had never even occurred to her.
She focused intently as Barriss continued.
"I care about Peter, and I care about you," Ahsoka felt her friend gently squeeze her hand again. "I'm starting to really care about both of you, and it frightens me... the thought of losing either of you."
She thought back to Peter's condition after his confrontation with Ultron. Seeing him so broken had nearly shattered her heart. So fragile... Even though he was recovering, she'd been terrified he might die.
"Since we've been back, I keep thinking about what's happened between us. He's always been there for us, doing everything he could to protect us."
Skywalker's Padawan remained silent, processing everything Barriss had shared.
"Ahsoka..." Barriss looked up to meet her friend's eyes. "When you saw Peter like that on Jabiim... how did you feel?"
The question made Ahsoka freeze as images flashed through her mind—her friend being beaten nearly to death...
She immediately shook her head, trying to banish the memory, but it persisted.
Worse, an overwhelming wave of emotion crashed over her at the thought of someone so close to her dying in such a way.
She... she couldn't even process it.
"I was terrified," Ahsoka finally admitted, seemingly more to herself than to her friend. "Seeing Peter like that..."
Unbidden, the image of her battered friend flickered through her mind. Then she remembered her Master gravely injured on Mortis, her 501st brothers dying from the Blue Shadow virus, and...
"Barriss... I don't—"
"Ahsoka, I don't understand it either, but I don't think avoiding this will help either of us," Barriss said, taking her friend's hand in both of hers. "We... we need to figure out what this means for both of us. I can't just sit here dwelling on it forever."
"But what about our Masters? Won't they expect us to ignore feelings like this and focus on our duties?"
"Will they?"
"I... I..." Ahsoka stammered. "I'm not sure—"
"Look... I know this isn't traditional, but I think... I might need to talk to someone who can help us understand this. Someone not bound by the Order's restrictions. Someone non-judgmental. You could come with me."
Ahsoka frowned, looking down at their clasped hands. "Barriss... I'm scared. This is all so confusing."
She looked up at her fellow Padawan, surprised by the gentle smile she received.
"I know," Barriss whispered. "I was terrified too. I've never felt anything like this before, but... I know I'm not alone in feeling it."
Barriss's smile widened slightly.
"I'm grateful now..." she whispered. "I'm still confused about all of this, but... I understand why I'm facing this confusion. Talking to you—talking to my friend—it helps clarify some things. I'm not sure what will happen next, but I know I have to figure this out. I do have feelings for him. Something deeper than friendship. It hurt seeing him sacrifice himself for us again..."
A brief silence settled over them both.
"So... what do you think this means, Barriss?"
Her friend just shook her head.
"I think I'll understand better when I see Peter again," the Mirialan Padawan said, glancing down at their joined hands. "If not, I'll talk to the Avengers. I want to understand what this means. If they can't help, then I'll continue searching for answers elsewhere. This war and meeting them has shown me that even with all the Jedi Order's wisdom, there's still so much to learn. For what we're dealing with, it feels like we need to look beyond what we've been taught."
Ahsoka couldn't help herself. "Where's the calm and collected Barriss I know? This sounds much more reckless."
"Where do you think I learned it from?"
"Barriss!" Ahsoka exclaimed with mock offense.
The Mirialan Padawan laughed genuinely for the first time in days and pulled Ahsoka into a warm embrace, which surprised the Togruta since Barriss was usually so reserved.
"Thank you, Ahsoka," Barriss whispered, holding her friend tightly. "Thank you for listening."
Ahsoka didn't know how to respond with words, so she followed her instincts and hugged Barriss back just as tightly.
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