Chapter 18: "Mortax's Waiting Room of Woe and Paperwork"
We arrived at Mortax's lair out of breath, out of dignity, and out of snacks.
The dragon was not pleased.
> "You brought the prince?" Mortax said, blinking slowly. "Why?"
> "His palace was eaten by squirrels," I explained.
> "This is why I charge emotional rent," Mortax muttered.
He snapped his claws. A gilded waiting room appeared. Complete with chairs made of tax forms, ambient harp music, and a sign that read: PLEASE WAIT PATIENTLY FOR YOUR APOCALYPSE.
We sat.
Wilfred read an outdated scroll titled "How to Negotiate with Enchanted Furniture."
Kevin passed out brochures for "Mortax's Beginner's Guide to World-Burning."
Grubnuk filled out a customer complaint form and drew a dragon with big eyebrows.
The prince sobbed quietly into his Emotional Support Beverage.
Petunia was braiding the velvet throne scraps into a headband.
And me? I just stared at the giant hourglass in the center of the room. Each grain of sand whispered passive-aggressive comments.
> "You thought you were special." "That fern still doesn't respect you." "You left your laundry in the last kingdom."
Finally, Mortax returned. Wearing reading glasses and carrying a clipboard the size of a cow.
> "You've triggered several interdimensional clauses," he said, frowning. "Also, your presence has destabilized the Kingdom of Velvet, the Treaty of Trees, and the Secret Society of Spoons."
> "We're very talented," Petunia said proudly.
> "I suppose you want help?" Mortax asked.
> "That would be great," I said, trying to wipe squirrel fur off my jacket.
> "Then I need you to complete a very specific task," Mortax said ominously. "One that could change the fate of this world."
We leaned in.
> "Go find the One Prophecy Binder. It was misplaced."
> "That sounds... important," Arcanos said slowly.
> "It's covered in glitter and rage," Mortax clarified. "Also it bites. So wear gloves."
So once again, we set off. Not for glory. Not for honor.
But to find an angry, glitter-coated binder that might hold the secrets of fate.
Probably filed under B for Bad Decisions.
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End of Chapter 18 (Now entering: paperwork, prophecies, and passive-aggressive furniture.)